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Bengals' incentive for season ticket holders? A box of popcorn


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[size="5"][b]Bengals' incentive for season ticket holders? A box of popcorn [/b]
[/size]


Dear Season Ticket Holder:

The Cincinnati Bengals want you back.

Actually, they wanted you back before now, before a promising season erupted like a Whoopee cushion, giving you every reason not to come back, ever. They wanted you back, back in August, just after they'd signed Terrell Owens to marry Chad Ochocinco in a civil ceremony aired live on [i]Dancing With The Stars[/i]. Or maybe it was the [i]T.Ocho Show[/i]. Whatever.

To that end, the Bengals put together an incentive package so overwhelming we hesitate to publish it for fear the country's wireless network might collapse under the call-now strain. In August, before the Bengals were 2-11, losers of 10 straight and owners of a team-town relationship the envy of Bob Irsay and Baltimore, the Bengals offered their lapsed season ticket holders a voucher good for a million dollars, a new Cadillac and a month on Bora Bora.

They did not.

It was a voucher for a new vacuum cleaner, a multi-tool and a Tuesday night in Jersey City.

Not even.

How 'bout a box of popcorn?

From a letter sent by the team, to former season ticket holders:

"After another excellent draft class, the addition of Antonio Bryant, and arrival of Terrell Owens, the 2009 AFC North champions are looking to have an even better 2010 season, and we would love for you to join us again! For a limited time only, if you purchase new Season Tickets, you will receive a voucher for a free box of popcorn. ..''

Imagine the insanity in the Queen City the day those letters arrived. Erstwhile Season Ticket Guy, slamming redial, hoping beyond hope to get his free box of popcorn. Sobbing silently when he finally gets through and is told all the vouchers are gone. Pondering the afterlife. Leaving a note:

"All I wanted was my free box of popcorn.''

Insiders tell me if the Bengals had upped the ante to a box of Cracker Jack, the city would have declared martial law.

Let's see if we understand: In August, the Bengals hadn't won a playoff game in 19 years. In that span, they'd had two winning seasons. The cheapest season seats went for $60 a game. That's $480 for the season. For that, popcorn.

Last August, [i]Forbes[/i] magazine judged the Bengals franchise to be worth $905 million. A decade ago, the team moved into a $600 million publicly financed stadium. It sold out 57 games in a row, which brands the fans as loyal or dull or both.

Let them eat popcorn.

Not unlimited popcorn.

One box.

For a limited time only.

Not long after the letter went out and the club got laughed at again, it issued a pronouncement that it was merely hopping on the T.O. hypewagon, playing on Owens' slogan, "Get your popcorn ready.''

Well, of course. The point was, with any other organization you could name, no explanation would be necessary. With the Bengals the explanation was not only instructive, but required.

Understand: Cincinnati is a civil burg. It is Philly, if Philly were Sunday morning in the confessional. 'Nati fans have been bludgeoned for a generation, Reds and Bengals, to an extent that when their teams accomplish mediocrity, the fans plan parade routes. It takes a lot to make them mad.

The popcorn letter really didn't help things.

Of course, it wasn't the first faux pas from the Bengals, whose definition of "fan experience'' is somewhat different than most. In the early 90s, in the locker room immediately after another 3-13 season, Bengals staffers distributed a press release announcing an increase in ticket prices.

Last season, on a sweltering September day when the concession stands ran out of bottled water, they began offering tap water for $3 a cup.

In 2004, a group of season ticketholders sued the team, claiming they were being forced to buy tickets they didn't want. Nothing says GO TEAM! quite like fans suing to get out of buying tickets.

Several years ago, the team sent a letter to its fans, seeking input on their "experience'' at the stadium -- paraphrasing here -- not including the game action itself.

The video the Bengals show just before the game has not been changed since the stadium opened. Other places, team greats are acknowledged around the facility. At Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, part of the concourse is devoted to a shrine to Steelers greats. No such luck in Cincinnati. You can buy stuff at the gift shop, though. Two weeks ago, when the gametime temperature rested beneath freezing, they were offering $5 off short-sleeved T-shirts. For real.

When the Bengals drive inside the opponent's 20-yard line, it is announced they have "entered the Heinz Red Zone,'' which is wildly amusing to the thousands of Pittsburgh Steelers fans routinely in attendance.

And so on. Right now, Bengals fans love their team as much as Al Capone loved auditors. Things are not good. Probably, not even free popcorn (one box, limited time) would help.

One longtime fan posted on my blog this week, "No recognition, other than a cheesy bumper sticker, [for] being a 25-year season ticket holder. Wouldn't some kind of acknowledgement of their most loyal [customers] be kind of cool?''

To which a later poster replied, "Twenty-five-year season ticket holder? Come down to the Bengals main office, tell them your situation and let [them] brand 'I'm a complete idiot' on your forehead.''

Wrote another, "The answer to end this madness involves following the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King. The fans should walk onto the field, lay down and start singing 'We Shall Overcome.'''

That could be good. Get your popcorn ready



Read more: [url="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/paul_daugherty/12/15/bengals.popcorn/index.html#ixzz18Hy387N6"]http://sportsillustr...l#ixzz18Hy387N6[/url]
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[quote name='turningpoint' timestamp='1292513989' post='951282']
Interesting read, but why the fuck should the bengals give anything away? [size="3"][b]They don't have to.[/b][/size]
[/quote]


exactly.... we keep fucking going.....

man reading that is bad... some of it is laughable bad....
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[quote name='oldschooler' timestamp='1292513597' post='951280']
[size="5"][b]Bengals' incentive for season ticket holders? A box of popcorn [/b]
[/size]

[/quote]
Dear Paul,
[center][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3039/2614443001_40df487b67.jpg?v=0[/img][/center]
Just sayin'...
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It's really amazing how little the Bengals care about their fans and ticket buyers. Here in Columbus, I've had season tickets for the Crew, the pro soccer team. Last year the team celebrated the 10th anniversary of Crew Stadium. All the 10 year season ticket holders were invited out to midfield before the game and Clark Hunt, the owner, and team president Mark McCullers went down the line shaking hands and thanking them. It was a couple thousand people but didn't take that long.

Soccer is a new sport and trying to establish itself so the teams are very fan friendly and accessible. Fans can chat with players all the time, I've spoken with McCullers lots of times and chatted with Hunt a few times and his dad Lamar Hunt before him. I believe the Hunts are similarly fan friendly with their KC Chiefs fans. Of course they have less to be ashamed of than the Brown family.
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They made SI's extra mustard

[quote][img]http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/.element/img/4.0/global/swapper/201012/101215.09.jpg[/img]
Each NFL season it's always fun to see if the Bengals will be a bigger embarrassment on or off the field. You would think a 2-11 record would make this year a bigger embarrassment on the field, but after seeing the e-mail above, off the field might be pulling ahead. The Bengals were trying to take care of loyal season ticket holders by making them an offer they can't refuse: A FREE BOX OF POPOCORN. This is on top of charging those loyal fans a $100 fee for reactivating their season ticket plan.

Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/extramustard/hotclicks/12/15/scarlett-johansson-penguins-captials-road-to-winter-classic/index.html#ixzz18J3KLYQ1[/quote]
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[quote name='Dr Tarzan' timestamp='1292529916' post='951340']
Sums me up. I LIKE the article. I feel I've been played the fool and Doc articulated it into print. So there. :sterb041:
[/quote]

I completely agree. I know that sometimes old Paul can come across as a little whiny, but he really lays it out in a way that makes you realize how fucked over we season ticket holders should feel. While I have no plans to dump my tickets (I love football too much and can always go watch it no matter how bad the team is not to mention the money invested in the license) I do feel like more people need to get the big picture about how bad Mike Brown has run this team.

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swept the division a year ago, had a bad year this year.... when were season ticket holders promised a great season? i must have missed that letter...

think how cowboys fans feel paying WAAAY more than bengals fans and that team collapsing?

you know what you get as a season ticket holder, if you dont like what you get... you have options...
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[quote name='GoBengals' timestamp='1292548048' post='951383']
swept the division a year ago, had a bad year this year.... when were season ticket holders promised a great season? i must have missed that letter...

think how cowboys fans feel paying WAAAY more than bengals fans and that team collapsing?

you know what you get as a season ticket holder, if you dont like what you get... you have options...
[/quote]

Yeah, sweeping a 2 team division is awesome. When fans of other teams make fun of how bad he Bengals have been over the years I come back with ,"Oh yeah??!! Hey pal, we swept the division last year so there."

Only a Bengals fan could consider sweeping the division while losing 4 of your last 5 games to include your second playoff game in 19 years an accomplishment. How many years do you plan to use the swept the division line anyways? Kinda like blaming George Bush for everything.


Why should I give a shit about the Cowboys? At least Jones paid for the majority of his new palace, Brown paid zero.
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[quote name='SF2' timestamp='1292555086' post='951400']
Yeah, sweeping a 2 team division is awesome. When fans of other teams make fun of how bad he Bengals have been over the years I come back with ,"Oh yeah??!! Hey pal, we swept the division last year so there."

Only a Bengals fan could consider sweeping the division while losing 4 of your last 5 games to include your second playoff game in 19 years an accomplishment. How many years do you plan to use the swept the division line anyways? Kinda like blaming George Bush for everything.


Why should I give a shit about the Cowboys? At least Jones paid for the majority of his new palace, Brown paid zero.
[/quote]

At this point, I have to agree.

[quote name='Bengals1181' timestamp='1292556730' post='951404']
crap, the AFC North was only 2 teams last year?
[/quote]
Essentially, yes. And you know this. My how a year has shaken that up.

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[quote name='Bunghole' timestamp='1292557870' post='951407']
At this point, I have to agree.


[b]Essentially, yes. And you know this. My how a year has shaken that up.[/b]
[/quote]


Bull, the stealers finished the season with the same record as the ravens, and only one game back of the Bengals.


Not to mention, beating the stealers once (let alone twice) is as much a mental thing as it is who has the better team. Anytime the Bengals manage to beat the Stealers, they've earned it. Further, if the Bengals don't sweep the stealers last year, the stealers win the division.


The Bengals earned their division championship last year. Spare me the "it was a two team race and the Bengals were handed the division" bullshit.
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[quote]Nati fans have been bludgeoned for a generation, Reds and Bengals, to an extent that when their teams accomplish mediocrity, the fans plan parade routes.[/quote]

How does anyone read this and not immediately think "Who is this asshole?" Someone needs their didey changed. And yet tons of people line up to be shit on by this clown.

"Yup he's right! We sure do suck!"

Fucking pathetic.

"Tell it like it is, P-douche!"

Voice of the fuckin' perpetual whiner.

Nobody is debating that the team has had a disaster of a season and their future is highly uncertain, but for Christ's sake the wailing and teeth-gnashing has been going on since the first Brown's game. Well, more like since 1990. But if you don't waddle around crying with a soiled diaper 24/7 you are a "Mike Brown/Carson Palmer apologist".

What the fuck is with the weird jingoist-like WDR manifestos and personal crusades? Of all the worthwhile causes people could be worked up over, they choose something as ultimately futile as the Bengals? Does anyone really think MB is going to relinquish control of this team before they pry it from his cold, dead fingers?

Face the facts, people. He owns the team. He isn't going to sell it or hire a GM or turn it over to Katie or put up a fan poll to let Bobby Soiled-shorts vote on who the next coach will be. Nothing is going to make him stop playing tiddlywinks with the franchise.

Further, he doesn't owe you shit, so you might as well get that out of your head right now. Much like any other business owner, he does what he does and you can like it or piss off. Blah blah stadium deal; yeah, well - you voted for it, and then your duly-elected representative signed off on that shit. Oh but wait, you probably didn't even vote, because you were much too busy watching god damn football.

I'm not really trying to turn this into a J&D thread but for fuck's sake, gain some perspective and bitch about something that 1. actually matters and 2. you have some ability to change.

Yes this season has been pathetic. Yes this franchise seems to be streaking the bowl as it spirals down the drain. I think we can all agree on that. The thing is, when the team has had success, when they win games you are too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop to even enjoy it. No, you disappear and bide your time until they lose again so you can pop out with your "Same old bungals" I-told-you-so condescending self-satisfied horseshit. The loudest complainers on here right now are all names I never saw one damn peep out of last season. I'd guess about half of the regulars on here have been driven off by the non-stop negativity. Pessimists are only happy when shit goes bad, because it proves them right. And being right is much more important than enjoying the good times, apparently. This writer does nothing but shit on the team -no, teams - the whole city - week after week after week. What kind of self-loathing masochistic loser would support this guy? I don't get it.

I mean, yes, again so there is no confusion; The team sucks right now. The organization is in shambles. This does not mean we should all wallow in self pity.
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[quote name='Bengals1181' timestamp='1292559242' post='951410']
Bull, the stealers finished the season with the same record as the ravens, and only one game back of the Bengals.


Not to mention, beating the stealers once (let alone twice) is as much a mental thing as it is who has the better team. Anytime the Bengals manage to beat the Stealers, they've earned it. Further, if the Bengals don't sweep the stealers last year, the stealers win the division.


The Bengals earned their division championship last year. Spare me the "it was a two team race and the Bengals were handed the division" bullshit.
[/quote]

Eh, I misread that I guess. I took it to mean there were two [i]other[/i] teams in the division (besides the Bengals), implying the Browns were irrelevant last season (they were) and that now its [i]our[/i] turn to be irrelevant. My bad.
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[quote name='Bunghole' timestamp='1292588931' post='951451']
Eh, I misread that I guess. I took it to mean there were two [i]other[/i] teams in the division (besides the Bengals), implying the Browns were irrelevant last season (they were) and that now its [i]our[/i] turn to be irrelevant. My bad.
[/quote]



:hug:

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Back to the article at hand. I think offering popcorn is an insult. Now, with that said, I honestly feel that the Bengals don't need to give shit to anyone, but a box of popcorn is just a fucking insult. I used to work for a major language school here in Japan. One year their quarterly earnings, quarterly mind you, was over a billion yen. So, to thank the staff and teachers they gave everyone a bonus. I walked in that day to find an envelope in my mailbox that had a 500 yen coin in it. What can you do with 500 yen? I could buy a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of something to drink. In my opinion, they shouldn't have given anything to us other than a polite thank you. If you make over a billion yen in 3 months you're only pissing on my head by giving me 5 bucks. Take that 500 yen and shove it up your fucking ass is how I felt about that. I feel the same way about this popcorn thing. A polite thank you would suffice. A box of popcorn just chaps my ass. But I understand it. Let's say there are 5,000 season ticket holders. If a box of popcorn costs 4 or 5 bucks and you multiply that by 5,000 that's a nice chunk of change, although it probably only costs them a quarter for that popcorn, but still. It's a fucking insult. Now, if they had offered free popcorn to people with the vouchers as some sort of play on the TO thing, yeah, it's cute, but to season ticket holders as a thank you? Kiss my ass. But again, in my opinion, they don't need to give anyone a fucking thing.
MULLY
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[quote name='Bunghole' timestamp='1292588931' post='951451']
Eh, I misread that I guess. I took it to mean there were two [i]other[/i] teams in the division (besides the Bengals), implying the Browns were irrelevant last season (they were) and that now its [i]our[/i] turn to be irrelevant. My bad.
[/quote]


The Browns beat the Stealers last December, while the Stealers
were fighting for a Playoff spot.
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