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THIS WEEKEND............


Guest ONYX

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Guest A-Men-HouseofPain

[quote name='Rumble in the Jungle' post='456453' date='Mar 14 2007, 12:04 PM']i was out of town, sorry couldn't come to your aid sooner man. it looks like you got some great advice though. <_< you can also put all the dvd porn in the[b] trunk of your car,[/b] unless you have a shit load![/quote]
im pretty sure thats a bad idea for storage.

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sneaky......

just stash it in a closet.....make a joke out of it and let her know it's there....be honest about yourself and about your movies!!.....she may just wind up watching some with you!
let her know you don't want to offend her and you'll keep it "out of sight" if it bothers her....I'm over 30 and still enjoy a good skin flick so don't let the age thing bother you!

if you are indeed that serious, she should already know you have an appetite..... :P


hhhmmm....can't believe you moved someone in on me.....
:lol: <_<


good luck!!!

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The biggest thing in this isn't about porn, it's about hiding things. If you let her take this away from you you'll end up a sniveling shell of a weenie man as the years pass. Have some fucking balls, man. I don't give a flying fuck how PC this world is getting, men are men and women are women. None of this equality horse shit. We're different. Always have been and always will be. There's no reason to throw it in her face and leave shit laying around the house like a fucking asshole. Keep the shit discreet. But don't go throwing things away and cleaning hard drives. If she doesn't like porn keep it away from her, but don't *hide* it. You can bet your sweet ass she's gonna do things that you don't like and sure as fuck isn't going to stop.
MULLY
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Guest LoyalFanInGA

BengalBacker and BengalBeotch have both given you great advice which I wholeheartedly second. Fulcher_33 has a valid point about caving in...which ultimately comes down to control. My wife is the boss and I'm man enough to own that. :pointlaff: But, we've watched porno together. :headbang: If you want to be happy, you need to keep the woman in your life happy. Which means most of the time she will get her way. Talk to her about it. She will either accept it or she won't. If she isn't cool with it, the porno collection probably isn't the thing you want to tell her, "See this foot? I'm puttin' it down." Pick your battles..."I have to have the 42" plasma with integreted HD and surround sound system before opening day"...is all I'm saying.

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[quote name='LoyalFanInGA' post='457086' date='Mar 16 2007, 03:41 AM']BengalBacker and BengalBeotch have both given you great advice which I wholeheartedly second. Fulcher_33 has a valid point about caving in...which ultimately comes down to control. My wife is the boss and I'm man enough to own that. :pointlaff: But, we've watched porno together. :headbang: If you want to be happy, you need to keep the woman in your life happy. Which means most of the time she will get her way. Talk to her about it. She will either accept it or she won't. If she isn't cool with it, the porno collection probably isn't the thing you want to tell her, "See this foot? I'm puttin' it down." Pick your battles..."I have to have the 42" plasma with integreted HD and surround sound system before opening day"...is all I'm saying.[/quote]


Fair enough but if she doesn't want you to have a copy of this month's Hustler and you back away from it, when the time comes that you want that 42" plasma with integrated HD and surround sound.......if she gets it in her head that you aren't getting it you might as well drop the dream because it'll be 16 kinds of Hell just like the mag. If you back down from one thing you might as well pack the rest away too. Like I said, there's no reason to be a douchebag and throw the porn in her face. If she doesn't like it do your best to keep it away from her. But let her know that you're not getting rid of it. You know why? Because if you toss the shit and clean the hard drive you'll always have to be looking over your shoulder when you're looking at shit on the net. And you will look....and you will get caught. Be honest with yourself, sneaky. Do you really want to have to clear your history and temp files every single time you look at something? What if she's suspicious and happens to check those things the one time you forget to clear them? You're fucked! Trust me. Been there, done that. On top of that, you're human, the more someone tells you not to do something the more you'll want to do it. Save yourself the heartache. Be fair, but don't cave in.

And don't even kid yourself into thinking that she won't check your computer....and your cell phone. If you really are a ladies man you better be careful with the cell phone. She will be checking it when you're in the shower or sleeping late or whenever you and it are separated.
MULLY
be ready to explain every female phone number in your cell phone memory

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Onyx, the reason I asked you about toys is because I have an interesting situation with my wife. She likes her toys, and uses them pretty often, both with and without me. I have no problem with "Johnny Love Muscle" or "The Egyptian Lover". However, she gets extremely offended when she discovers that I have been masturbating to internet porn (which I try to do every chance I get, since her sexual offerings of a few times a week aren't enough for me, especially when morning wood is factored in).
I ask her "You use these dildos and such....what is your deal with me whacking it to some pictures of naked young women?"
She tells me that the difference is that when I masturbate to porn, that I'm imagining sex with someone else, while when she uses her toys that she's only thinking of me....
yeah, right.
I never know whether I should be flattered or smack the bitch in the mouth and call her a filthy liar....
[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img]
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[quote name='Bunghole' post='457234' date='Mar 15 2007, 08:07 PM']sneaky, the reason I asked you about toys is because I have an interesting situation with my wife. She likes her toys, and uses them pretty often, both with and without me. I have no problem with "Johnny Love Muscle" or "The Egyptian Lover". However, she gets extremely offended when she discovers that I have been masturbating to internet porn (which I try to do every chance I get, since her sexual offerings of a few times a week aren't enough for me, especially when morning wood is factored in).
I ask her "You use these dildos and such....what is your deal with me whacking it to some pictures of naked young women?"
She tells me that the difference is that when I masturbate to porn, that I'm imagining sex with someone else, while when she uses her toys that she's only thinking of me....
yeah, right.
I never know whether I should be flattered or smack the bitch in the mouth and call her a filthy liar....
[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img][/quote]

[color="#FF0000"][b]:lol:

I dont think, my girl owns any toys but eventually I'll find out. [/b][/color]

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[quote name='ONYX' post='457236' date='Mar 15 2007, 06:20 PM'][color="#FF0000"][b]:lol:

I dont think, my girl owns any toys but eventually I'll find out. [/b][/color][/quote]
The strangest sensation you'll ever feel is while you're having intercourse with a woman, and ramming a dildo up her poop-chute, is feeling the pressure from the fake cock against yours through the thin tissue lining that seperates the rectum from the vag. It'll make you either want to pull out or join the Navy.
I'm going to sail the seven seas, fellas....

:ninja:

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Guest oldschooler
[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] @ this thread



[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/18.gif[/img]
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[quote name='Bunghole' post='457234' date='Mar 16 2007, 09:07 AM']it to some pictures of naked young women?"
She tells me that the difference is that when I masturbate to porn, that I'm imagining sex with someone else, while when she uses her toys that she's only thinking of me....[/quote]


Well, just tell her that you'll never in a million years ever meet any of these women you slap off to but she's got you right there any time she wants you.
MULLY
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[quote name='Bunghole' post='457240' date='Mar 16 2007, 09:36 AM']The strangest sensation you'll ever feel is while you're having intercourse with a woman, and ramming a dildo up her poop-chute, is feeling the pressure from the fake cock against yours through the thin tissue lining that seperates the rectum from the vag. It'll make you either want to pull out or join the Navy.
I'm going to sail the seven seas, fellas....

:ninja:[/quote]

Wow, one post and this entire thread has fallen into the gutter. Kudos to you. Usually it takes a few posts for things to get this low but somehow you did it with just one.
MULLY
betting that feels pretty good and knowing my wife would never let me stick the vibrator up her ass

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[quote name='Fulcher_33' post='457248' date='Mar 15 2007, 07:17 PM']Wow, one post and this entire thread has fallen into the gutter. Kudos to you. Usually it takes a few posts for things to get this low but somehow you did it with just one.
MULLY
betting that feels pretty good and knowing my wife would never let me stick the vibrator up her ass[/quote]
In the gutter? Wasn't it you that advised me to "wipe it on the curtains"?
You sonofoabitch....
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Guest oldschooler
This thread is becoming Hall of Fame material.

I`ve laughed til I cried a couple of times. [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/18.gif[/img]

Too funny...
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[quote name='Bunghole' post='457240' date='Mar 15 2007, 06:36 PM']The strangest sensation you'll ever feel is while you're having intercourse with a woman, and ramming a dildo up her poop-chute, is feeling the pressure from the fake cock against yours through the thin tissue lining that seperates the rectum from the vag. It'll make you either want to pull out or join the Navy.
I'm going to sail the seven seas, fellas....

:ninja:[/quote]
I forgot the cigarette after.....

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[quote name='Bunghole' post='457306' date='Mar 16 2007, 12:50 PM']In the gutter? Wasn't it you that advised me to "wipe it on the curtains"?
You sonofoabitch....[/quote]


Nah, man, I wasn't chastising you, I'm very proud.
MULLY
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[quote name='Go Tory Go!' post='457780' date='Mar 16 2007, 04:45 PM']Indeed; please, I beseech thee, do go on... :wub:

I was just realizing why they call you "Bunghole."[/quote]
What can I say, my woman likes it in the booty. And if she ever read what I type here, you could re-name me John Bobbitt.

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[quote name='Bunghole' post='457800' date='Mar 17 2007, 08:36 AM']What can I say, my woman likes it in the booty. And if she ever read what I type here, you could re-name me John Bobbitt.[/quote]

Or expect to find you with that big rubber cock shoved up *your* ass.
MULLY
wouldn't like that at all
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[quote name='Fulcher_33' post='457839' date='Mar 16 2007, 06:43 PM']Or expect to find you with that big rubber cock shoved up *your* ass.
MULLY
wouldn't like that at all[/quote]
I would be like Jim Carrey in "Me, Myself and Irene", as in ...."my ass REALLY hurts..."
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[quote name='Bunghole' post='457234' date='Mar 15 2007, 08:07 PM']Onyx, the reason I asked you about toys is because I have an interesting situation with my wife. She likes her toys, and uses them pretty often, both with and without me. I have no problem with "Johnny Love Muscle" or "The Egyptian Lover". However, she gets extremely offended when she discovers that I have been masturbating to internet porn (which I try to do every chance I get, since her sexual offerings of a few times a week aren't enough for me, especially when morning wood is factored in).
I ask her "You use these dildos and such....what is your deal with me whacking it to some pictures of naked young women?"
She tells me that the difference is that when I masturbate to porn, that I'm imagining sex with someone else, while when she uses her toys that she's only thinking of me....
yeah, right.
I never know whether I should be flattered or smack the bitch in the mouth and call her a filthy liar....
[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img][/quote]


thats funny, a friend of mines soon to be wife doesnt want him even knowing porn exists, she considers masterbating to porn as bad as cheating on her.

for fucks sake these people are insane?!?!
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[quote name='GoBengals' post='458056' date='Mar 17 2007, 11:57 AM']thats funny, a friend of mines soon to be wife doesnt want him even knowing porn exists, she considers masterbating to porn as bad as cheating on her.

[b]for fucks sake these people are insane?!?![/b][/quote]
Well they are women, so I guess that answers your question. And my wife is just like your friend's soon-to-be wife. She considers it a form of cheating, meanwhile she's squeezing out Creechnasty's babies faster than I can count.....
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[quote name='GoBengals' post='458056' date='Mar 18 2007, 02:57 AM']thats funny, a friend of mines soon to be wife doesnt want him even knowing porn exists, she considers masterbating to porn as bad as cheating on her.

for fucks sake these people are insane?!?![/quote]


Yeah, I've got a friend here who's wife is like that. Poor guy.
MULLY
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Yeah, fuck that. Porn is definitely a good thing.

I read somewhere that the movie industry (Hollywood) grossed somewhere in the area of 97 billion dollars last year. Internet porn grossed over 300 billion. It said that 3 million dollars per minute is being spent on net porn. I tell ya, with figures like that the government will never be able to shut it down.
MULLY
I gave $29.95 of that to them. Where's my T-shirt?
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