Need help, advice, tips..

[VonBlade]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558483' date='Sep 27 2007, 09:57 PM']he juist turned 23 and my parents wont let us date because they are douchebags, but i will just do it behind their backs.[/quote]

Love is love. So I wont decry your feelings (I've been with MrsVB since I was 18 and she's my first love).

BUT

Your parents aren't stopping you dating because they're douchebags, it's because they know the same things we're all saying. No good will come of this.

Step numero uno is always acknowledging you have a problem and if he's not willing to go to rehab you wont convince him otherwise.

It's harsh, but you really must look at your own life/happiness/wellbeing. The urge to help someone can be very strong but you're the only person who [b]has[/b] to live with yourself. You're the only person who will be there for you at 3am (and by that I mean that you can only be certain you will be there).

I admire your willingness to help, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you deserve better than an addict who isn't willing to quit. If you are a good enough person to go the extra mile (which by this thread you are) and he isn't good enough to meet you in the middle (which by your answers he isn't) then you neither deserve this hassle, nor will you be appreciated even if you can make it to the end of the journey.

Whatever you decide, I hope you think long and hard about it. If I can bring age in just for a moment, you are only 17, half my age, and life has far more ahead of you yet than you can imagine. But it shouldn't include lost causes.
VB

[|Bengal Migration|]

[quote name='Fulcher_33' post='558549' date='Sep 28 2007, 12:32 AM']Here, look at this

[url="http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/DrugIssue/MethResources/faces/index.html"]http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/DrugIssue/M...aces/index.html[/url]

This is what's going to happen. Don't kid yourself for one second that you are different and can turn this guy around.
MULLY[/quote]
Walking across the bridge to KY with 12thMan after the MNF opener, we saw a meth addict... looked just like one of the folks in this picture.

OG, I hope you are smart enough to heed the advice on this one, and steer clear of this guy. Life has far too much to offer you for you to be caught up in such a tragedy at your young age.

(and spare me the "I'm a mature 17" bit. I held down 2 jobs at your age, bought my own clothes, food, car insurance, etc. And I was a kid. 20 years from now, you'll see in hindsight that you are a kid @ 17 too.)

I truly wish you the best

[ONYX]

[color="#FF0000"][b]You know what?

Fuck all this kind and supportive shit.

Im gonna keep this shit real.

OG, is this the best man you can get? Are you trying to tell me you that a meth-head is gonna
be your number one squeeze?

You got to be fucking kidding me.

You are selling yourself short kiddo. Real short. You are smarter than this, I refuse to believe
that you are this stupid. Hell, if you want to get with a loser, get with a meth dealer not a meth
user.

But hey, if you want to be some meth-head's chick, soon to be turning tricks to support his habit,
go knock yourself out.

It's your life. Fuck it up if you want to.

[/b][/color]

[DICKMAN]

My family and I cut off all connections with my brother until he WANTS help. A addict addicted to meth needs to hit rock bottom and you have to hope they hit rock bottom before anything else happens.
I've had/have plenty of friends addicted to that shit.

[Nati Ice]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558483' date='Sep 27 2007, 04:57 PM']thank you for that advice.
i'll try that.
he juist turned 23 and my parents wont let us date because they are douchebags, but i will just do it behind their backs.
so maybe by the time he gets out of rehab if he goes i'll be 18.[/quote]
so let me get this straight, your parents dont want their 17 year old daughter to date a 23 year old fuck up and meth addict?




OMG dey be lik total douchebags n shit, amirite?

[Rumble In the Jungle]

[quote name='sneaky' post='558551' date='Sep 27 2007, 07:36 PM'][i][color="#FF0000"][b]Dear God,

Please dont give me any daughters...because if I had a 17 year old daughter wanting to
kick it with a 23 year old meth addict, somebody would most certainly die and I would
end up spending a long time in prison.

Oh....and if it is OK with you, a Bengals win on Monday night would really be appreciated.

Until we meet, I promise I will continue to cutback on the fornicating and pornography.

Your humble servant...

~sneaky

Amen.[/b][/color][/i][/quote]


[i][b]Amen[/b][/i]

[Tigris]

You need to get into a serious relationship with someone else, you'll realize you can let people go... I've been in your shoes, except that I was trying to turn a hoe into a housewife. How dumb I was... and wasted my high school days away.

I wish I could have those days back... at least I can say I learned a valuable lesson: stay away from those sluts, because they'll fuck you every time.

[ScarletKnight]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558462' date='Sep 27 2007, 04:26 PM']My ex-boyfriend went to jail for making meth in the army barracks, now he is out and wants to get back together...he was my first love, and i still wanna be with him, but i dont want him to do drugs anymore. so im going to try and help him through it. and help him change.
anyone ever had a meth addiction...how do you get rid of it?[/quote]


I didn't really look at any of the other posts so if I am being repetitive I apologize. First and foremost drug addictions are debilitating and they really never go away. I had a close friend who has been batteling drug addiction for some years, he always seems to get clean and then relapse. Truthfully the smartest thing you can do is stay away.

I know that you have feelings for him, but sometimes you can do things for people over and over and over again with no avail. If you decide to help and get back with this person there is a HUGE chance of getting put into situations that you do not want to find yourself in. You should be doing what is best for yourself and finding someone without the convictions and drug problems is the best way to start.

Sometimes you have to pick rationality over feelings, no matter how strong those feelings may be.

[ThurmanMunster]

ive sugarcoated shit on AIM for you for too long.

it is really simple:


1) If you are a fucking moron then stay with him.


2) If you want your life to not be hell then dont ever come into contact with him again.


there is nothing else to be said. you are either a fucking moron or you dont want your life to suck.

[OG_OklahomaGirl_OG]

this is a general reply to all of you:

1. I know he is a meth-addict, and its hard to change those people, but my heart tells me its worth ONE try. YES, you say i'm better than him, but he didn't sell or deal drugs when we dated. Me breaking up with him probably made him start it. That is why i feel obligated to help. I know he can only help himself, but if he loves me likehe says he will try. If he doesn't try I will give up and move on and stay away from him. I promise.

2. He JUST turned 23 like last week. I will be 18 in 5 months. That's only 5 and a half years. It isn't bad when you break it down. Age is only a number. Maturity is the determining factor. That is my opinion, and everyone has a different one. I respect that.

3. I DO love him. I know it is love, i have never felt this way about any other man. (or woman) lol. & because i love him i want what is best for him. understand? if just keep allowing him to fuck up his life what good does that do.

4. My parents knew he was 22 at the time, and they didnt know of the meth, because neither did i. & they have no idea he was in jail. they were mad because of the age difference.
,
5. I know i should surround myself with different people, but it's hard living the same small town your entire life and having the same friends. you cant just say "fuck you i'm dropping you cus you party and fuck a lot". thats my entire senior class' description. It's harder than a forum makes it sound to just surround yourself with new, good, people. You know that.

6. I know i have a self-respect/self-esteem issue. I admit it. That is why i do some of the things i do. to make myself feel wanted. i dont know why i dont feel wanted, so dont ask or try and disect it. it is what it is and i deal with it. I try to be possitve about myself, but again i cant help it. I am smart girl i know what I should do, but emotion is a hard thing to not let get in the way.

[ScarletKnight]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']this is a general reply to all of you:

1. I know he is a meth-addict, and its hard to change those people, but my heart tells me its worth ONE try. YES, you say i'm better than him, but he didn't sell or deal drugs when we dated. Me breaking up with him probably made him start it. That is why i feel obligated to help. I know he can only help himself, but if he loves me likehe says he will try. If he doesn't try I will give up and move on and stay away from him. I promise.

2. He JUST turned 23 like last week. I will be 18 in 5 months. That's only 5 and a half years. It isn't bad when you break it down. Age is only a number. Maturity is the determining factor. That is my opinion, and everyone has a different one. I respect that.

3. I DO love him. I know it is love, i have never felt this way about any other man. (or woman) lol. & because i love him i want what is best for him. understand? if just keep allowing him to fuck up his life what good does that do.

4. My parents knew he was 22 at the time, and they didnt know of the meth, because neither did i. & they have no idea he was in jail. they were mad because of the age difference.
,
5. I know i should surround myself with different people, but it's hard living the same small town your entire life and having the same friends. you cant just say "fuck you i'm dropping you cus you party and fuck a lot". thats my entire senior class' description. It's harder than a forum makes it sound to just surround yourself with new, good, people. You know that.

6. I know i have a self-respect/self-esteem issue. I admit it. That is why i do some of the things i do. to make myself feel wanted. i dont know why i dont feel wanted, so dont ask or try and disect it. it is what it is and i deal with it. I try to be possitve about myself, but again i cant help it. I am smart girl i know what I should do, but emotion is a hard thing to not let get in the way.[/quote]

If you have to ask people on a forum how to get rid of a meth addiction then you are not well equipped to deal with this situation.

Besides, the best thing for your ex-may not be getting back with him, your assuming that you are what he needs, but trust me that really might not be the case.

I live in a small town too, although its in Jersey so its not exactly the same, and if you do not surround yourself with different people your just going to be a small town girl the rest of your life making the same mistakes asking yourself and everyone else the same questions over and over and over. You can make up any excuse that you want for yourself but, with that, its actually you making the decision to stay the same....

If you find yourself questioning all of your decisions then thats a sign that you might be doing the wrong things, when you can make a decision and know its the best thing, then you should not have to use everyone else in order to validate that or make that decision for you. This in itself is a serious problem that perhaps you need to address instead of using it as an excuse for your actions.

My suggestion to you is to find a womens health center or anything closley comparable and see what your options are about talking with someone. Sometimes they have free mental health counseling.

At 17 every girl has self esteem issues ( Not so sure about self respect issues, ive never had that) but I get the sense that what is going on with you is not the same as your average teenager. Whether you want to believe us or not, most of us here have a few years on you and understand life a little bit better because we have been there or done that, or just because as you get older you tend to see things for what they are not what you want them to be. I do not claim to be some wise person, I just can see the difference in myself from 17 to now and I can only imagine what that difference will be like 10 years from now. Your parents are concerned for a reason, the same way all the people on this board are expressing the same thing TAKE GOOD ADVICE WHEN IT IS GIVEN TO YOU.......or just stop asking for advice and do what you are going to do anyway.

[ONYX]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']this is a general reply to all of you:

1. I know he is a meth-addict, and its hard to change those people, but my heart tells me its worth ONE try. YES, you say i'm better than him, but he didn't sell or deal drugs when we dated. [b]Me breaking up with him probably made him start it. That is why i feel obligated to help.[/b] I know he can only help himself, but if he loves me like he says he will try. If he doesn't try I will give up and move on and stay away from him. I promise.[/quote]

[color="#FF0000"][b]Oh hell no. Baby girl you got this shit twisted. You arent the reason he is a meth-addict. HE is the reason he is a meth-addict. You cannot save him, you can try all the hell you want but he....whatever his name is, can only save himself. He has to want to stay clean for himself.... not want to stay clean just for you. [/b][/color]


[quote]2. He JUST turned 23 like last week. I will be 18 in 5 months. That's only 5 and a half years. It isn't bad when you break it down. Age is only a number. Maturity is the determining factor. That is my opinion, and everyone has a different one. I respect that.[/quote]

[color="#FF0000"][b]No disrespect OG, but dude is a 23 years old and he wants to date a girl still in highschool....he is a fucking loser. No 23 year old woman would want to be him because they would realize he's a loser too. His only
hope is to find some naive child who thinks she can save him. That and he's a meth addict... [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//30.gif[/img] [/b][/color]

[quote]3. I DO love him. I know it is love, i have never felt this way about any other man. (or woman) lol. & because i love him i want what is best for him. understand? if just keep allowing him to fuck up his life what good does that do.[/quote]

[color="#FF0000"][b]What are you ? His fuckin' mama ? He's the one that supposed to be the god damn adult yet he cant even take care of himself. A loving relationship is all about give and take. Have you ever thought to ask youself what does thisman has to offer? When you are sick or when you are going through some shit, how much support will he bring to the table? This is some bullshit Haley.[/b][/color]


[quote]4. My parents knew he was 22 at the time, and they didnt know of the meth, because neither did i. & they have no idea he was in jail. they were mad because of the age difference.[/quote]

[color="#FF0000"][b]They were mad because they know a loser when they see one. For the love of God will you please
listen to your parents on this one. [/b][/color]

[quote]5. I know i should surround myself with different people, but it's hard living the same small town your entire life and having the same friends. you cant just say "fuck you i'm dropping you cus you party and fuck a lot". thats my entire senior class' description. It's harder than a forum makes it sound to just surround yourself with new, good, people. You know that.[/quote]

[color="#FF0000"][b]OG, if a meth-addict is the most eligible bachelor in your town, then I pray to God it is destroyed by a tornado.[/b][/color]

[quote]6.[b] I know i have a self-respect/self-esteem issue.[/b] I admit it. That is why i do some of the things i do. to make myself feel wanted. i dont know why i dont feel wanted, so dont ask or try and disect it. it is what it is and i deal with it. I try to be possitve about myself, but again i cant help it. I am smart girl i know what I should do, but emotion is a hard thing to not let get in the way.[/quote]

[color="#FF0000"][b]Under fucking statement of the century. Haley, listen to me, there is nothing wrong with you. You are very pretty and very smart. No man will ever be able to respect and love you as much as you can respect and love your self. Your "boyfriend" isnt the only one on a path of self destruction. You need to save yourself kiddo.[/b][/color]

[MULLY]

sneaky tried to keep it real but if you want to see real you better let Uncle MULLY in the door. Here it is, kid.

You came on here a few months back asking advice about lying/not providing the truth about your age during a job interview. Quite a few of us told you what to do and a few misguided ones told you to keep on keepin' on. You didn't like us goody goodies telling you to be truthful so you argued your point with us. In the end you decided to keep on keepin' on even after we told you numerous times that it wasn't going to workout for you. What happened? You ended up losing that job.

Now you're here asking for advice about how to help this guy. I've yet to see one person saying stay with him and do what you can. EVERYONE is telling you to get away from this guy. But look what you're doing, you're sitting here asking for advice and then trying to justify staying with this guy even after we tell you to run. You're not hearing what you want to hear.

I say fuck it. If you're stupid enough to stay with this guy then you deserve everything that comes with it. When you finally hit the wall, which you will, please don't waste our time with the stories.
MULLY

[ThurmanMunster]

[quote name='Fulcher_33' post='558737' date='Sep 28 2007, 04:30 AM']sneaky tried to keep it real but if you want to see real you better let Uncle MULLY in the door. Here it is, kid.

You came on here a few months back asking advice about lying/not providing the truth about your age during a job interview. Quite a few of us told you what to do and a few misguided ones told you to keep on keepin' on. You didn't like us goody goodies telling you to be truthful so you argued your point with us. In the end you decided to keep on keepin' on even after we told you numerous times that it wasn't going to workout for you. What happened? You ended up losing that job.

Now you're here asking for advice about how to help this guy. I've yet to see one person saying stay with him and do what you can. EVERYONE is telling you to get away from this guy. But look what you're doing, you're sitting here asking for advice and then trying to justify staying with this guy even after we tell you to run. You're not hearing what you want to hear.

I say fuck it. If you're stupid enough to stay with this guy then you deserve everything that comes with it. When you finally hit the wall, which you will, please don't waste our time with the stories.
MULLY[/quote]
x10

[Jamie_B]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']this is a general reply to all of you:

1. I know he is a meth-addict, and its hard to change those people, but my heart tells me its worth ONE try. YES, you say i'm better than him, but he didn't sell or deal drugs when we dated. Me breaking up with him probably made him start it. That is why i feel obligated to help. I know he can only help himself, but if he loves me likehe says he will try. If he doesn't try I will give up and move on and stay away from him. I promise.[/quote]

Meth addicts are physically addicted, its not like any other drug, there is a reason it is said to be one of the hardest drugs to quit. If he doesnt want to, you arent going to make him. He didnt get on meth because you broke up with him, this goes to your self esteem issues, you cant blame youself it only makes yourself feel worse about yourself. Its not your fault. When it comes right down to it, he is the one that made the choice to do what he is doing and nobody can make him make that choice. I dont want to hear you blame yourself for this period. Trying one time to get him to quit? You already asked him and he doesnt want to, you need to get away from him. Please.

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']2. He JUST turned 23 like last week. I will be 18 in 5 months. That's only 5 and a half years. It isn't bad when you break it down. Age is only a number. Maturity is the determining factor. That is my opinion, and everyone has a different one. I respect that.[/quote]

I love ya to death OG, but NEIHER OF YOU are displaying any kind of Maturity in this situation. Him for wanting to date someone still in high school, and for dealing and doing meth. And you for not doing what is best for you. You have to put yourself first, because as cliche as it sounds, you cant truely deeply love anyone untill you love yourself.

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']3. I DO love him. I know it is love, i have never felt this way about any other man. (or woman) lol. & because i love him i want what is best for him. understand? if just keep allowing him to fuck up his life what good does that do.[/quote]

But what about what's best for you? Forget loving him, do you love you? Honestly you cant love someone in any healthy manner unless you love yourself first.

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']4. My parents knew he was 22 at the time, and they didnt know of the meth, because neither did i. & they have no idea he was in jail. they were mad because of the age difference.[/quote]

I imagine he was 22 and you were 16 still when he went to jail? Reguadless its not the point, you are still in high school and he is several years out of high school. Your parents may not know about the meth or jail, but they arent stupid, they know its not proper for a 22 year old to be dating someone still in high school and probabally suspect more is going on.

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']5. I know i should surround myself with different people, but it's hard living the same small town your entire life and having the same friends. you cant just say "fuck you i'm dropping you cus you party and fuck a lot". thats my entire senior class' description. It's harder than a forum makes it sound to just surround yourself with new, good, people. You know that.[/quote]

You dont have to "drop" them (though i think you should) but you dont have to spend time outside of school with these people either. Find other things to do or other people to hand out with. Your 17, at that age most of these people you hang out with now you will not ever see again unless its at a high school reunion, they arent going to be your friends even 5 years from now. You hold no obligation to them. Also I highly doubt its your entire senior class, rather more likly the popular crowd which every girl your age wants to be a part of. Again what is more important? Your well being, or being popular and liked with people youll never see after this year is over?

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558720' date='Sep 28 2007, 01:49 AM']6. I know i have a self-respect/self-esteem issue. I admit it. That is why i do some of the things i do. to make myself feel wanted. i dont know why i dont feel wanted, so dont ask or try and disect it. it is what it is and i deal with it. I try to be possitve about myself, but again i cant help it. I am smart girl i know what I should do, but emotion is a hard thing to not let get in the way.[/quote]

Every girl your age has self esteem issues, hell everyone period does. Its that your letting them control you overall that is the issue. You need to understant your worthy of good people loving you not just these fuckups. Look what you have going for you OG.

1. Your smart
2. Your pretty
3. You have a huge heart
4. Your funny as hell

If you just start worring about loving yourself and admiting its ok to think good things about yourself, and expect that the people that really do care about you will think good things and want to do right by you. Youll find what your looking for. But none of this will change untill you start taking care of you.


I hope you take this advice to heart, none of us, including your parents, are trying to be "douchebags" we want you to listen to us because we know what is best because we have either been there or have seen it before.

[OG_OklahomaGirl_OG]

Okay well last night i layed in my bed and thought about it until about 3:30 this morning, then deciding i had to get up for school in two and a half hours i went to sleep, but beforei went to sleep i decided i will take the advice you have given me. Although, my question for advice was actually "how do you get rid of a meth addiction", not "what should i do", anyway it doesn't matter because i've decided he needs to do this on his own to really want and appriciate it. So, untill he sobers up, or even if he never does. I will not see him, talk to him or try and help him. Even though this will be one of the hardest things i have ever done. I see what could happen if i stayed with him, but the thought of never seeing him or holding him in my arms again kills me inside. I cryed my eyes out last night because the song "far away" by nickleback came on he use to tell me how much that song reminded him of me. It hurts, and i know you all think "shes just 17 she cant possibly feel this strongly about this one guy. she doesnt even have a clue what real love is", but i have to make a decision that will be better for him and i both, and i feel this is the right one. So thank you for the advice. This time i will listen, mully, and as for my self-respect issue, i think that i'll grow out of it. i mean i think he was a big part of it anyway, but no one can be blamed for me not loving myself enough. So i am going to take a conscious step to improving the way i feel about myself. Anyway, well im late for school. Thank you again.
And sneaky i hope you and the bengals get your miracle win against the patriots monday like you asked for.

[Bengals_12th_Man]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558479' date='Sep 27 2007, 04:48 PM']you cant say i dont know what love is because of my age.
love isnt something you study and learn, its an emotion, [b]it comes with maturity and experience[/b].
and anyhow...i take the word "love" completly seriously. he is the only man in all my relationships i have ever said i love you too. im pretty sure i have a grasp on what love is.[/quote]


Sorry OG, @ 17 you don't have either one.

I sounded just like this when I went off the college. My mother told me that having a girlfriend through a lond distance relationship probably wouldn't work being as young as I am. I KNEW differently. I was so confident in my love with my high school sweetheart that distance meant nothing when compared to the eternity that was my love. We broke up 4 months after I went to school...

The point that I'm trying to make is that you are young regardless of how you feel. Things change as time goes on as your meth man exemplifies. I think you should let him go, let him find his own way. He simply won't quit unless he desperately wants to. You can't make him go to rehab. He will do what he wants to regardless of anyone else. If he doesn't go to rehab, he doesn't really want to be with you. If backslides, odds are he will again and again. LET HIM GO. Do yourself a favor and find someone worthy of your love.

I know this isn't the response you were looking for, but it's the best one out there considering the circumstances.



Whatever you do, DON"T FUCK WITH THAT SHIT. You do NOT want to live that kind of hell.

[Ben]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558761' date='Sep 28 2007, 09:07 AM']Okay well last night i layed in my bed and thought about it until about 3:30 this morning, then deciding i had to get up for school in two and a half hours i went to sleep, but beforei went to sleep i decided i will take the advice you have given me. Although, my question for advice was actually "how do you get rid of a meth addiction", not "what should i do", anyway it doesn't matter because i've decided he needs to do this on his own to really want and appriciate it. So, untill he sobers up, or even if he never does. I will not see him, talk to him or try and help him. Even though this will be one of the hardest things i have ever done. I see what could happen if i stayed with him, but the thought of never seeing him or holding him in my arms again kills me inside. I cryed my eyes out last night because the song "far away" by nickleback came on he use to tell me how much that song reminded him of me. It hurts, and i know you all think "shes just 17 she cant possibly feel this strongly about this one guy. she doesnt even have a clue what real love is", but i have to make a decision that will be better for him and i both, and i feel this is the right one. So thank you for the advice. This time i will listen, mully, and as for my self-respect issue, i think that i'll grow out of it. i mean i think he was a big part of it anyway, but no one can be blamed for me not loving myself enough. So i am going to take a conscious step to improving the way i feel about myself. Anyway, well im late for school. Thank you again.
And sneaky i hope you and the bengals get your miracle win against the patriots monday like you asked for.[/quote]

[Jamie_B]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558761' date='Sep 28 2007, 09:07 AM']Okay well last night i layed in my bed and thought about it until about 3:30 this morning, then deciding i had to get up for school in two and a half hours i went to sleep, but beforei went to sleep i decided i will take the advice you have given me. Although, my question for advice was actually "how do you get rid of a meth addiction", not "what should i do", anyway it doesn't matter because i've decided he needs to do this on his own to really want and appriciate it. So, untill he sobers up, or even if he never does. I will not see him, talk to him or try and help him. Even though this will be one of the hardest things i have ever done. I see what could happen if i stayed with him, but the thought of never seeing him or holding him in my arms again kills me inside. I cryed my eyes out last night because the song "far away" by nickleback came on he use to tell me how much that song reminded him of me. It hurts, and i know you all think "shes just 17 she cant possibly feel this strongly about this one guy. she doesnt even have a clue what real love is", but i have to make a decision that will be better for him and i both, and i feel this is the right one. So thank you for the advice. This time i will listen, mully, and as for my self-respect issue, i think that i'll grow out of it. i mean i think he was a big part of it anyway, but no one can be blamed for me not loving myself enough. So i am going to take a conscious step to improving the way i feel about myself. Anyway, well im late for school. Thank you again.
And ONYX i hope you and the bengals get your miracle win against the patriots monday like you asked for.[/quote]


Im glad to hear this, I just hope your not saying it for our sake.

[VonBlade]

That's a very brave, mature, wise decision you've made OG.

Just remember we're all here to help through the times you doubt you've made the right choice. Which you have.

[bengalrick]

very smart decision OG... your only as good as the company you keep... and drug addicts can break the habit, but is that a risk you are willing to take, considering the consiquences if you are wrong? very wise decision...

btw, your right about love... i met my wife when i was 18 (she was 17) and we have been together ever since... married 3 years now (together for almost a decade)... you CAN love, but not every flutter of the heart or great feeling around someone is love...

[USN Bengal]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558761' date='Sep 28 2007, 09:07 AM']Okay well last night i layed in my bed and thought about it until about 3:30 this morning, then deciding i had to get up for school in two and a half hours i went to sleep, but beforei went to sleep i decided i will take the advice you have given me. Although, my question for advice was actually "how do you get rid of a meth addiction", not "what should i do", anyway it doesn't matter because i've decided he needs to do this on his own to really want and appriciate it. So, untill he sobers up, or even if he never does. I will not see him, talk to him or try and help him. Even though this will be one of the hardest things i have ever done. I see what could happen if i stayed with him, but the thought of never seeing him or holding him in my arms again kills me inside. I cryed my eyes out last night because the song "far away" by nickleback came on he use to tell me how much that song reminded him of me. It hurts, and i know you all think "shes just 17 she cant possibly feel this strongly about this one guy. she doesnt even have a clue what real love is", but i have to make a decision that will be better for him and i both, and i feel this is the right one. So thank you for the advice. This time i will listen, mully, and as for my self-respect issue, i think that i'll grow out of it. i mean i think he was a big part of it anyway, but no one can be blamed for me not loving myself enough. So i am going to take a conscious step to improving the way i feel about myself. Anyway, well im late for school. Thank you again.
And sneaky i hope you and the bengals get your miracle win against the patriots monday like you asked for.[/quote]

OG...

I've been told that I have a penchant for being too harsh and blunt, but it's the only way I know... so this is coming at you with no punches pulled and no quarter given.

First, you MUST realize that HE is the addict and is solely responsible for his addiction. You bear NO responsibility for it whatsoever.

Meth addiction is one of the toughest ones to overcome. Professional help is needed, and it won't work unless the addict themself is the one who asks for it/feels the need for it. I have too much experience with meth addicts unfortunately, and although love is a wonderful and blessed thing, it can't cure addiction.
If your love for an addict is true, then tell the addict that you can't be around an addict. Rehab is the ONLY answer and recovery the only lifestyle thereafter. That's showing the tough love that an addict needs.

The alternative is prison/death...

As far as the rest goes, it's a part of growing. You will either tire of hanging out with people who are wasting their lives and find others who are not... or you will waste your life hanging around losers and become one yourself.

I'm not a Norman Einstein either, and no one else here is. We ARE a group of people who have had many years of combined experience... who give a damn.

Good luck, it sure as hell isn't easy to experience all that life throws your way, but it helps if you have friends to share it with.

[OG_OklahomaGirl_OG]

No im not just saying this for your sakes, and thank you for all the support.

[Jamie_B]

[quote name='OG_OklahomaGirl_OG' post='558961' date='Sep 28 2007, 03:36 PM']No im not just saying this for your sakes, and thank you for all the support.[/quote]


Your a good girl with alot to offer that has made bad decisions, your human. Youll find what your looking for, but in the mean time take care of you.

[OG_OklahomaGirl_OG]

[quote name='Jamie_B' post='559037' date='Sep 28 2007, 03:44 PM']Your a good girl with alot to offer that has made bad decisions, your human. Youll find what your looking for, but in the mean time take care of you.[/quote]

I hope so.
I mean I thought about it today, and I thought to myself, "I am going to be getting the hell out of here in less than 8 months and going to Florida." So there really is no point in trying to work things out because he can't just up and leave considering he is in the military, and I am not going to base the rest of my life and future on someone who doesn't care about their own. So I am feeling a little better about my decision as of right now. I know I havn't made a lot of good choices, but they have all been huge learning experiences. I try to live with no regrets, because regrets will only keep you down. I look at the things I have done as exactly what i said, learning experiences. I have learned so much at such an early age. Especially recently. I really think I need to slow down, focus on school, and maintain my 4.0 (first time all of my 4 year of high school, yay me), and stop putting myself into situations where i may not be able to control myself or have good judgement. I hope to be able to be strong and do these things I am saying I hope to do.