eskimo Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 [url="http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=691&SectionID=2"]http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?S...691&SectionID=2[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Dan_Bengals_FL- Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 The Manager Billy Martin, M Hired and fired by George Steinbrenner’s Yankees five times, Martin’s hard drinking and inability to relate to his players make him the perfect man to lead this squad. Among the offenses he was fired for, ordering pitchers to throw beanballs (Detroit), overusing young pitchers (Oakland) and my favorite, he got into a fistfight with a marshmallow salesman named Joseph Cooper (New York, 2 nd firing) The Position Players Tim McCarver - C Tim McCarver – I have no idea if he was an asshole when he played, but in his career as a broadcaster he has solidified himself as the biggest jackass to ever watch a baseball game behind a microphone. He calls a game as if his audience is in grade school and somehow manages to sound boastful while telling self-deprecating stories about his playing abilities. It was one of the true pleasures of my life when Deion Sanders doused McCarver with ice water after a World Series game and all he could come up with was to say, “You’re a real man Deion, a real man.†Classic. Will Clark - 1B Will Clark – His nickname was “Mr. Intensity.†As such, he was always the first to publicly call out a teammate he felt wasn’t giving 100 percent, a true asshole trait. You know “that guy†in your life, whether a co-worker, boss or family member, nobody likes a perfectionist that can’t understand why everyone else isn’t. For that, he gets the nod at first, edging out Dave Kingman. Pete Rose - 2B While he is banished from baseball, he still gets a roster spot here. The godfather of the baseball card show, this asshole personifies the word better than anyone on this list. The same qualities that made him a great player on the field made him and real fuckhead off it. It’s not the betting on baseball scandal so much as the circus he created after it. And seriously, look at this picture. You can’t defend this guy. Alex Rodriguez - 3B Now infamous for “the slap,†this rah-rah pep squad leader may be a hell of a hitter, but boy is he an asshole. If the $25 million a year he banks for playing a kid’s game isn’t enough reason to hate him his fake-hustle attitude is. Don’t let his carefully polished media image fool you, this guy’s a real assbag. Larry Bowa - SS You know he’s a prick as a manager, but did you know that he never made his high school baseball team, latched onto a junior college team and then when a scout finally came out to see him play in a double-header, he got ejected from both games in the first inning? Who does that? An asshole, that’s who. Barry Bonds - LF The name is synonymous with asshole. He hates you, he hates me and he probably hates his kids, but man does this guy love himself. It’s Barry’s world, you’re just living in it. It’s a shame this asshole is going to break Hank Aaron’s record. Ty Cobb - CF Spike-sharpening, high-sliding, sexist, racist, anti-Semite that claimed he once killed a man, Cobb was quite an asshole. He also once went into the stands and savagely beat a man who had insulted him. Also, he thinks Ron Artest is a total pussy. Jose Canseco - RF An asshole from beginning to end. His arrogance never subsided and the guy that adamantly denied steroid use when it would have cost him a suspension wrote a book about it when he was low on cash. Then he even offered to take a lie detector test to back up his steroid claims – on Pay-Per-View. Unbelievable. Albert Belle - DH Went after a fan while playing college ball at LSU. Then while playing for the Cleveland Indians in 1990 he upped the ante by throwing a ball into the stands and hitting a fan in the chest. In 1995 he verbally assaulted NBC field reporter Hannah Storm as she waited to interview a teammate. Still, he wonders why the press is out to get him. The Rotation Roger Clemens Where to begin? He threw anything he could find at Mike Piazza. He was ejected from his son’s little league game for arguing a call, then spitting sunflower seeds at the umpire. He retired from the Yankees only to resurface in Houston the next year. He doesn’t travel with his teammates if he doesn’t feel like it. He named his four boys Koby, Kory, Kasy and Kody because they all start with K. Oh, and he just got an $18 million salary in arbitration to stave off retirement one more year. A real prick, that guy. Kevin Brown An unarmed toilet’s greatest fear, this temperamental porcelain smasher is an asshole’s asshole. A real well rounded jerk. In 1999, Brown demanded a private jet on top of his $105 million contract with the Dodgers so he could see his backwards ass family in Macon, Georgia a few extra times a year. As things turned out, he fucked up his back really bad on one of those in-season trips while lifting his son, a problem that still plagues him today. See, sometimes bad things do happen to bad people. Also, if he thought he could get away with it, he’d kill you. Juan Marichal Don’t be fooled by his innocent looks. This guy slammed a baseball bat into the unhelmented head of Johnny Roseboro during a brawl, an act that is not only assholeish but barbaric. Still, this is the All-Asshole team and we like his fire. Pencil him in. Don Drysdale Mickey Mantle once said, “I hated to bat against Drysdale. After he hit you he'd come around, look at the bruise on your arm and say, ‘Do you want me to sign it?’†The fact is, if ol’ Don were here today he’d be proud to be a part of the All-Asshole Team. What an asshole. Pedro Martinez It’s not that he throws inside. It’s not that he bitches in the media. It’s not even that he owns a midget. Think about your grandfather and look at this picture. Ass-hole. The Pen Rob Dibble Throw at a base runner, you make this list. It’s that simple. Also, he was quoted as saying, “If I were Barry (Bonds), and I were that good, I'd be two-times the jerk people perceive him to be.†Seeing as how Bonds is the MVP of this team, Dibble further cements his spot in the bullpen. Besides, just look at this picture. It screams fuckwad. Only 41 years old, he retired ten years ago after a seven-year career. Most guys peak in their early-thirties, he petered out. That doesn’t make him an asshole so much as it makes him a pussy. John Rocker Not smart enough to keep his racist, sexist and homophobic opinions to himself in the presence of a reporter, Rocker became famous for all the wrong reasons. Probably wouldn’t have made the cut on this team without his infamous SI interview, but a prick nonetheless. The fact that he later apologized makes him even more of an asshole. Tug McGraw Deadbeat dad to one of country music’s biggest acts Tim McGraw, he finally came around once old Timmy hit the big time. While he is hardly the only absentee father in the Major Leagues, he’s the most high-profile and so he’s in our bullpen. The Utility Players Garry Sheffield After recently being commended for “showing restraint†after only delivering one forearm into the chest of a fan reaching for a baseball, Sheffield has come a long way. That still doesn’t keep him from earning a starting spot on this roster. And for those who remember, his 1989 Topps rookie card featured a smiling Sheffield with gold “teef.†While assholeish, I gotta say, it was also pretty awesome. Reggie Jackson He’s the self-proclaimed straw that stirs the drink. Well I like mine shaken you asshole. The Owners Marge Schott On this one we’ll just let ol’ Marge speak for herself. These are actual quotes: “I would never hire another nigger. I'd rather have a trained monkey working for me than a nigger.†“I am not a racist.†Referred to Dave Parker and Eric Davis as “million-dollar niggers†“Only fruits wear earrings.†Regarding Adolph Hitler: “Everybody knows he was good at the beginning but he just went too far.†George Steinbrenner Teamed up with manager Billy Martin once again on this team. With “The Boss†the question isn’t what makes him an asshole, it’s what doesn’t make him an asshole. He was a prick when they were losing and he’s an even bigger prick now that they’re winning. He’s an awful man but he’s awful rich so there’s nothing anyone can do. Asshole. Honerable Mentions: Vince Coleman – Threw firecrackers at fans in the Dodger Stadium parking lot, then drove away. Deion Sanders – Because he’s Deion Sanders. Darryl Strawberry – If he wasn’t so pathetic now he might have made the team. Juan Gonzales – So many reasons but they’re not all universally known. Carlos Perez – Have you seen what he does after he strikes someone out? Luckily it didn’t happen often. Joe Medwick – The Albert Belle of the 1930’s. Ted Williams – With the outfield being home to most of the assholes, Williams just didn’t quite cut it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Dan_Bengals_FL- Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 It is better to read from the link, but I know a lot of people, like me, tend not to read things if they have to click on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BlackJesus Posted May 27, 2005 Report Share Posted May 27, 2005 [b]Steinbrenner should be the Manager [/b] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/30.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest #22 Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 This is completely stupid, and was written by a Dodgers fan. 3 Giants and 3 Reds? I guarantee that 90% of the current Yankees Organization are bigger pricks than most of these guys And do you notice that a lot of the players on here (Pete Rose, the Thrill, etc.) gave there all on [b]every[/b] gameday? where are Mickey Mantel, Babe Ruth, Tommy Lasorda, Sammy Sosa, etc.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kochman Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Dibble was a no brainer. I love when he threw the ball at the guy running to first. Classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest #22 Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Baseball is one of the only sports where it doesn't really matter. You have to be pretty fiery to be great, in my opinion. Watch the Japanese and Latin players and tell me that they aren't intense. Nolan Ryan called out team mates pretty often. [quote]Only 41 years old, he retired ten years ago after a seven-year career. Most guys peak in their early-thirties, he petered out. That doesn’t make him an asshole so much as it makes him a pussy.[/quote] coming from a prick who probably never put a glove on in their life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ThurmanMunster Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 The writer of this article is a complete dumbass. I have met Alex Rodriguez and he is one of the coolest people ever. Derek Jeter is a much bigger ass bag. It is funny because you are taught to try and hit the glove when someone tags you, but since he did it in such a big game he gets ripped for it. He didnt do anything wrong because if u get away with it its perfect. Then they rip him because Texas offered him the 252 million dollar deal, like he should turn it down because its too much money... a lot of people hate Pete Rose, but ive seen him out in public randomly a few times and then at shows and shit and ive never had 1 negative experience with him. however, i have had a TON of bad experiences with Johnny Bench, he is a real asshole and seems jealous of Pete Rose getting so much love in Cincinnati even tho he is banned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumble In the Jungle Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CrazyIrishman5 Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 My team, [b]The Manager- Tony La Russa C- A.J. Pierzynski 1B- Hal Chase 2B- Jeff Kent 3B- Bobby Bonilla SS- Larry Bowa OF- Barry Bonds OF- Joe DiMaggio OF- Ty Cobb DH- Rickey Henderson P- Randy Johnson P- Bob Gibson P- Juan Marichal P- Don Drysdale P- Pedro Martinez RP- John Rocker RP- Rob Dibble The Owner- Charles Comiskey[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ThurmanMunster Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 nolan ryan and roger clemens would need to be 2 of ur SPs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest #22 Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 why do you include P- Juan Marichal? especially over cheaters like Niekro and dickweeds like Clemens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Master Shake Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 [quote name='#22' post='242150' date='Apr 1 2006, 10:31 PM']why do you include P- Juan Marichal?[/quote] [img]http://www.dodgerblues.com/images/roseboro-marichal.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ohwhyknott Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 [quote name='Bunghole' post='96672' date='May 26 2005, 05:04 PM'] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img][/quote] That is funny stuff---but brother---those assholes all put together could win a lot of damned ball games! whew! that's for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest #22 Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 [quote name='Master Shake' post='242178' date='Apr 2 2006, 12:40 AM'][quote name='#22' post='242150' date='Apr 1 2006, 10:31 PM'] why do you include P- Juan Marichal?[/quote] [img]http://www.dodgerblues.com/images/roseboro-marichal.jpg[/img] [/quote] right...I'm not quite sure that you understand how badly the Giants and the Dodgers hate each other. the red sox and the yanks have a rivalry...people get killed at SF/LA games. in fact, their hatred of one another was one of the reasons they were both moved out west. since they have retired, Johnny Roseboro and Juan Marichal have become good friends and roseboro has admitted to starting it. find me another incident of Marichal doing something instead of just being lazy. Didn't Pedro Borbon bite someone? Why isn't he on there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CrazyIrishman5 Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 Out of all the people on my list (except Ty Cobb) the worst would have to be Bob Gibson! He was a good person off the field but on the field he was a ass hole! If you hit a home run, got a big hit off of him or gave him a bad look the next at bat you will be wearing the baseball! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGodfather Posted April 4, 2006 Report Share Posted April 4, 2006 Crazy Irishman - I'm suprised that you were the only to add Jeff Kent - That dude is the definition of a prick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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