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A New Sport Gains Popularity in Cleveland


Guest BlackJesus

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Guest BlackJesus
[img]http://www.perseusbooksgroup.com/images/author/1000014246.jpg[/img][img]http://fi.somethingawful.com/customtitles/title-cuban_chowder_factory.gif[/img]
[u][size=3]A New sport emerges: Winslow Jumping
June 29th, 2005
Jonathan Williams
CNN Sports.com[/size][/u]

Cleveland OH (AP Wire) Despite local authorities pleas that the new sport is both dangerous and hazardous to ones health, the youth in inner city Cleveland Ohio have started a local craze that is gaining popularity. They call it "Winslow jumping" but outside observers simply refer to it as speeding on a motorcycle into a bunch of tires and judging the distance that one flies. However don't tell that to the nearly three dozen young Cleveland youth that came out to last Saturdays second annual Winslow Jumping contest. Skyler Wilson the days winner summed up the competetion as follows: "[i]My whole life I have always wanted to make a difference, and really do something with my life, something my parents could really be proud of, with Winslow Jumping I have found my calling." [/i] Yes indeed Skyler, if the 12.50 $ reward for Saturdays lunge of 19 feet 3 inches is any indication, I would say you have a bright future ahead of you in the sport.


[img]http://img13.echo.cx/img13/6007/b50sd.jpg[/img]
[i][size=1]second place finisher Biff McDonald flew an impressive 18 feet and 7 inches
before accidentally impailing himself on his fathers broken beer bottle...
2 days later he was stitched up and back on his bike.[/size][/i]


However there are some skeptics of the new craze. Cleveland Sheriff Ramone Ortiz, says that the new craze is hard to contain and is potentially deadly. [i]"So far all we have is a lot of broken jaws, missing teeth, fractured ribs, and internal bleeding, luckily noone has died yet thank god".[/i] But for the dozens of Cleveland area children the risk is worth the 12.50 $ which for some in this area could be a whole two weeks worth of pay. [i]"My family don't feed me no more"[/i] said one Winslow enthusiast [i]"This is my way to make it"[/i]. Regardless of what side of the fence you are on with this issue, we should all agree that in an age of couch potatoes, where kids have lost interest in physical activity there are alot of worse things that mentally challenged Cleveland children could be doing right now than "Winslow Jumping", and for their sake lets hope the sport really "takes off"!

[url="http://www.big-boys.com/articles/brandnewbike.html"]http://www.big-boys.com/articles/brandnewbike.html[/url]
exclusive Video of a young man starting off on the path of the great Winslow jumpers before him



[color="blue"][i][size=1](courtesy of BlackJesus, feel free to copyright this material on any and all boards you wish, especially dawgtalk)[/size][/i][/color]
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Guest BadassBengal
[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img]

Classic, BJ, classic
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[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] wow... the things you come up with!
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[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] hahahahahhahaha [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] funnnyyy stuff [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img]
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the sad thing is....

it's almost believable!
[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img]
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[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif[/img]

Ohh BJ, you always come up with something good nearly every week.

Gotta love that story, although I think you may have a few of the newbies believing the story is real.

[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/41.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/41.gif[/img]
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Great job BJ.

May I make one suggestion (before you post it on the Brown's board): Since Winslow's shrub adventure took place only a few months ago, it doesn't make sense for last Saturday's event to be the "[b]second annual [/b]Winslow Jumping contest." Change it to "inaugural" and you'll have over half of Cleveland believing it.
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  • 2 months later...
Guest BlackJesus
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[i]Dear Asshole,

I hope I don't have to point out the beautiful irony at work here. You are a spoiled, self centered, piece of shit, shit talking, good for nothing, asshole with an inflated ego, and now a punctured kidney to boot. You have been comparing yourself to real soldiers for so long that fate decided to let you have the injury of one. None of this was an accident you deserve every bit of it,.... you took a chance at fame and millions and turned it into a "what coulda been" situation where now you will most likely never play again. You got a huge ego off the fact that you could run and catch a circular object but yet you couldn't read, you bragged about how dominant you were as you ran around wearing body glitter (true story) and never proved an ounce of it on the field, and now you lie in a hospital room with few visitors (especially your team mates who know you are an asshole) and watch your lousy pathetic ass team fail without you. Don't worry they would have failed with you but now it is sweeter.....

Love
BJ[/i]
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