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Ravens Jokes


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These were on dawgtalk, pretty funny:

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Baltimore?
A: A huddle


Q: There are 4 Baltimore ravens in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.


Q: Why can't Jamal Lewis be in the Ravens huddle anymore?
A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.


The Baltimore Ravens have adopted a new "Honor System". "Yes, your Honor", "No, your Honor".


The Ravens had a 9 and 7 season this year. 9 arrests and 7 convictions.


Q: How do the Ravens spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights


So Ozzie Newsome had put together the perfect Ravens team for '05. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Iraq. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye! Right into the barely open window. "I've got to get this guy," Ozzie says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Ravens go on to win the SuperBowl. The young Iraqi is lionized as the Great Hero of SuperBowl XXXI, and when Ozzie asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother. "Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won the SuperBowl." "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You're not my son." "I don't think you understand, mother" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans." "No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lifes last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight...." I'll never forgive you for making us move to Baltimore.
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A Bengals fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a joke about Ravens fans?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall and 220 pounds and I'm a Raven fan. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 240 pounds and he's a Raven fan, and the guy sitting next to him is 6'5", 280 pounds and he's a Raven fan, too. Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The Browns fan says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
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