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AmishBengalFan

Bengals Life Support Thread

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With 3 games to play the Bengals are only mathematically still alive for a playoff spot.  But for those who care to watch so that you'll know the precise moment when our playoff hopes officially die.... here's how it looks:

To Win The AFC North

8-5 Pittsburgh  (Remaining games: at CIN, BAL, CLE)
7-6 Baltimore (PHI, at PIT, at CIN)
5-7-1 Cincinnati (PIT, at HOU, BAL)

Pittsburgh must go 0-3 and Cincinnati must go 3-0.  If that happens, we will have 8.5 wins, Pittsburgh will have 8, and Baltimore will be 8-7 (beat PIT, lose to CIN) with their game against Philly being a must-lose.  Therefore, if any of the following happen we cannot win the division:

Sunday 12/18
1pm Ravens beat Eagles
1pm Stealers beat Bengals

Saturday 12/24
8:25pm Texans beat Bengals

Sunday 12/25
4pm Stealers beat Ravens

Sunday 1/1
1pm Ravens beat Browns
1pm Stealers beat Browns

 

To Win An AFC Wildcard Berth

The Chiefs and Raiders are both 10-3, while the Dolphins and Broncos are 8-5, so we must win all of our remaining games to finish 8-7-1.  If we do that, we still have to finish in 2nd in our division (since the runner-up in the AFC West is assured of a better record than us), and not a single team OTHER than that AFC West runner-up can get to 9 wins.  For this to happen, we have to have the following:

(a) Bengals go 3-0 (PIT, at HOU, BAL)
(b) Pittsburgh goes 0-3 *or* Baltimore goes 0-3/1-2
(c) Denver (8-5) goes 0-3
(d) Miami (8-5) goes 0-3
(e) Buffalo (6-7) does not go 3-0
(f) Indianapolis (6-7) does not go 3-0
(g) The loser of the week 17 HOU-TEN game (both are 7-6) does not go 2-0 over the next 2 weeks.

It's a lot easier to list the ways we get killed off, so if any of the following happen we cannot win a wildcard berth:

Saturday 12/17
8:25pm Dolphins beat Jets

Sunday 12/18
1pm Stealers beat Bengals
4:25pm Broncos beat Patriots

Saturday 12/24
1pm Dolphins beat Bills
8:25pm Texans beat Bengals

Sunday 12/25
8:30pm Broncos beat Chiefs

Sunday 1/1
1pm Ravens beat Bengals
1pm Dolphins beat Patriots
1pm Bills beat Jets (delete this if Browns beat Bills on 12/18)
1pm Colts beat Jaguars (delete this if Vikings beat Colts on 12/17 or if Raiders beat Colts on 12/24 as either Colt loss gives them 8 losses and removes them from consideration)
1pm Titans beat Texans (delete this if Chiefs beat Titans on 12/18 or Jaguars beat Titans on 12/24 - see AFC South explanation below)
1pm Stealers beat Browns (delete this if Eagles beat Ravens on 12/18 or Stealers beat Ravens on 12/25 - see AFC North explanation below)
4:25pm Broncos beat Raiders

AFC SOUTH: Okay, the AFC South Wildcard contender has to come in 2nd place (because the division winner will get an automatic berth), but has to finish no better than 8-8 for the 8-7-1 Bengals to get past them.  Houston and Tennessee are both 7-6 and play each other in week 17.  If both teams go 2-0 before that game, both will have 9 wins and eliminate CIN.  If both go 1-1 or 0-2 before that game, the winner takes the division while the loser finishes 8-8 behind CIN.  If one goes 2-0 and the other goes 1-1, the 2-0 team must beat the 1-1 team for the loser to have 8 wins and finish behind CIN.  Since CIN has to play (and beat) HOU in week 16 to remain alive, HOU cannot be 2-0 coming into this game.  Therefore, if HOU is 1-1 and TEN is 2-0, TEN must beat HOU.  If HOU is 1-1 and TEN is 1-1 or 0-2, it does not matter.  Therefore for a 1-1 HOU team (where HOU beats JAX this week and loses to CIN next week), TEN must beat HOU in week 17 if TEN is 2-0.  If TEN loses either of their next 2 games, then they don't have to beat HOU.   For an 0-2 HOU team  (where HOU loses to JAX + loses to CIN), them having 8 losses is enough to put us ahead of them.

AFC NORTH: In addition to the above, CIN must catch PIT or BAL to finish in 2nd place.  To catch PIT the Stealers must go 0-3. We play PIT and must beat them to remain alive, so if PIT wins either of their other two games they're assured of finishing ahead of is.  To catch BAL the Ravens must lose at least 2 of 3.  We play BAL and must beat them, so BAL would have to win both of their other games to finish ahead of is.  One of these two things must happen, therefore if BOTH of the following happen we're out:

(a) 12/25 Stealers beat Ravens or 1/1 Stealers beat Browns
(b) 12/18 Ravens beat Eagles + 12/25 Ravens beat Stealers

Since the 12/25 game cannot be a win for both teams, one of those will work out in our favor.  So, taking this chronologically:

- If Ravens beat Eagles on 12/18
-- A Steeler victory on 12/25 + a loss to us on 1/1 gives us 2nd place.
-- A Ravens win over Pittsburgh + a Stealers win over Cleveland on 1/1 locks us into 3rd place regardless of how we finish

- If Ravens lose to Eagles on 12/18
-- We're good.  We have to beat them on 1/1 to have a shot at 8-7-1, and that loss plus the Eagles loss gives them no better than an 8-8 record.

Therefore, the "Bengals-are-eliminated-even-if-we-go-undefeated" scenario here is: 12/18 Ravens beat Eagles AND 12/25 Ravens beat Stealers AND 1/1 Stealers beat Browns.  If these games play out this way while we go 3-0, the Ravens will be 9-7, the Stealers will be 9-7, and we'll be 8-7-1.  The AFC West will have at least one 10-win non-division winner, the North will have one 9-win non-division winner, and we'll be on the outside at 8-7-1.

 

 

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To summarize everything into one post, here's what you need to know:

 

(a) Our season ends with our next loss.

(b) If we go 3-0, our division title hopes end if any of these results occur:
12/18 1pm Ravens beat Eagles
12/25 4pm Stealers beat Ravens
1/1 1pm Stealers beat Browns

(c) If we go 3-0, our wild card hopes end if any of these results occur:
12/17 8:25pm Dolphins beat Jets
12/18 4:25pm Broncos beat Patriots
12/24 1pm Dolphins beat Bills
12/25 8:30pm Broncos beat Chiefs
1/1 1pm Dolphins beat Patriots
1/1 1pm Bills beat Jets (delete if CLE beats BUF on 12/18)
1/1 1pm Colts beat Jags (delete if MIN beat IND on 12/18 or if OAK beat IND on 12/24)
1/1 1pm Titans beat Texans (delete if KCC beat TEN on 12/18 or JAX beat TEN on 12/24)
1/1 1pm Stealers beat Browns (delete if PHI beat BAL on 12/28 or PIT beat BAL on 12/25)
1/1 4:25pm Broncos beat Raiders

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Your rooting interests this weekend, besides the game at PBS are, therefore:

12/17 8:25pm NYJ beat MIA (keeps MIA from 9th win)
12/18 1pm PHI beat BAL (keeps CIN alive in playoff race, removes threat of 3rd place 8-7-1 finish)
12/18 1pm CLE beat BUF (gives BUF 8th loss)
12/18 1pm MIN beat IND (gives IND 8th loss)
12/18 1pm KCC beat TEN (removes threat of AFC South 2nd place team with 9 wins)
12/18 4:25pm NEP beat DEN (keeps DEN from 9th win)
 

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I love it when a plan comes together.  We got them just where we want them!

Anyway, will root for them regardless.  :gobengals::icon15::steelerssuck:

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Nothing like needing the turds to win. Maybe they will screw up in browns fashion and win out to move out of the top draft spot. 

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Fins are ripping the Jests a new bunghole, up 34-10 now.

So the Wild Card door has slammed shut, like we knew it would.  This leaves us with one path to glory - the Division.  And even if we win out and all the cards fall right over the next two weeks (PHI > BAL, BAL > PIT), everything will hinge on Cleveland fucking up their draft pick by beating PIT in Week 17.

 

Lol

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I will be such a big Ravens fan the next 2 weeks I am going to paint my dick, balls & grundle all purple and walk around slapping people in the face with my cock. 

 

 

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11 minutes ago, saphead said:

I will be such a big Ravens fan the next 2 weeks I am going to paint my dick, balls & grundle all purple and walk around slapping people in the face with my cock. 

 

 

You are one brave man. Just make sure you move to Baltimore first!

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4 hours ago, saphead said:

I will be such a big Ravens fan the next 2 weeks I am going to paint my dick, balls & grundle all purple and walk around slapping people in the face with my cock. 

 

 

The way the season is going, we will beat the rats and open the door for the toothless inbreds. No matter how purple your junk is.

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28 minutes ago, Hooky said:

The way the season is going, we will beat the rats and open the door for the toothless inbreds. No matter how purple your junk is.

:lol:

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Piss on the Rats with that purple thang!

i could, however, be content with them winning the division. 

Can't see it happening, though. Next week will be an all-out NFL blitzkrieg of calls/non-calls, the likes of which haven't been seen since last January at PBS (or even since yesterday). 

 

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