Imposter Punt Returner On The Loose

[BrassBengal]

Warning: Imposter Punt Returner On The Loose

Posted Sep 24th 2006 4:15PM by JJ Cooper
Filed under: stealers, AFC North
Dear Coach Cowher:

It has come to our attention that one Ricardo Colclough (see photo at right) may be hiding out in the pissburgh area. Colclough is a mediocre cornerback, who is rather harmless if he sticks to that vocation. But it has been reported that Colclough also fancies himself as a punt returner. If he tries to sell that bill of goods to you, do not under any circumstances fall for the bait. Colclough has been known to break runs of up to three to four yards on punt returns if he succeeds in catching the ball. Unfortunately, he is often known for his inability to catch, which may lead to costly turnovers that could cost your team ball games. Thankfully, this inability quickly becomes apparent the first time he tries to catch a punt in practice, or whenever your team faces the Dolphins, so even if he does manage to masquerade as a punt returner for a week or two, there is no way he will be able to pull of the charade for three or four weeks in front of anyone who is paying attention.

Colclough is rumored to have a running mate that goes by the alias Santonio Holmes (see photo at right). Holmes' job is that of a developing No. 4 receiver, but he is also, not to be trusted if he tries to tell you that he's a punt returner. He actually held the job for only one year at his college before losing it to a more talented returner. Unlike Colclough, Holmes actually catches the ball, unfortunately, he often catches it when standing at the five-yard line--a no-no for punt returners. Like Colclough, he can be counted on to not make any big plays if he does find work as a punt returner. Our suggestion is you allow him to return kicks, where his straight-line speed is sometimes useful, but look elsewhere for a punt returner.

There are rumors that your pissburgh team has an experienced punt returner on the team, a guy named Willie Reid (see photo at right), but those reports cannot be confirmed, as he seems to have disappeared ever since September rolled around. When last seen, he was one of the most productive punt returners in college football. Probably even more importantly, he knows what he's doing back there, as he has sure hands which allow him to successfully catch punts, the knowledge to let punts inside the 10 roll into the end zone, and the ability to make players miss when he does return punts. If you have any information on Willie Reid's whereabouts, please let us know as soon as you find him.

[url="http://www.aolsportsblog.com/2006/09/24/warning-imposter-punt-returner-on-the-loose/"]Link[/url]