Beaker Posted March 27, 2005 Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 Maurice Clarrett's semester grades from Ohio State. Physical Education (credits: 3) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Class participation: F Homework: C Exams: F F Instructor's notes: Maurice demonstrates remarkable natural ability in the subject, but he refuses to live up to the course requirements. Notably, Maurice does not interact well with other students in the class and does not appear to recognize his own strength. While playing flag football in a recent lab exercise, he broke the jaw of one of the math department's teaching assistants with a completely unnecessary stiff arm -- the astronomy major playing tight end clearly would have picked up the block had Maurice just kept running. African-American Studies (credits: 4) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Class participation: D Homework: D- Exams: F F Instructor's notes: I have not witnessed a student as uninterested in the subject since teaching a young John Ashcroft at Yale. Maurice walked out in the middle of the first exam without handing in his paper, showing not even the slightest willingness to copy the answers from the scholarship student blackmailed by the athletic department and seated in the aisle next to him. In fact, Maurice only avoided receiving failing marks in class participation by allowing the psychology department to use him for their research on napping. Torts (credits: 4) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Class participation: C Homework: B+ Exams: N/A B- Instructor's notes: Maurice was a latecomer to the class, but rarely have I seen an undergraduate student as intent on learning the nuances of torts and what types of civil wrongs constitute grounds for a lawsuit. While he seemed to have an extreme fascination with the regulatory bodies governing public institutions of higher learning, Maurice's constant barrage of questions were a welcome addition to lecture. His final project, arguing that a final exam was an undue infringement on his future earning power was brilliantly worded, and I happily excused him from the final as a result. I'm disappointed Maurice isn't considering a career in the legal profession, but I wish him well with whatever future appearances he makes in a courtroom. Accounting (credits: 4) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Class participation: C Homework: F Exams: D- D Instructor's notes: It is unfortunate the student never appeared to grasp the fundamental concepts behind introductory accounting -- namely that it be used for measuring the value of items that actually exist. I was quite pleased with his initial homework assignment, a complete list of all personal items and effects that might need to be insured, until remembering that I had seen the Mona Lisa on a recent visit to Paris. Further checking revealed Mr. Clarett was not, in fact, in personal possession of the Hope Diamond, Fort Knox, a Stradivarius violin and five of the six Hummer vehicles listed. I recommend Mr. Clarett consider future courses in creative writing [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//30.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BengalBeotch Posted March 27, 2005 Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 I find it interesting that the only class he was interested in was one that dealt with lawsuits??? Sounds like he's more interested in finding a free ride by sueing someone....(if I understood the class correctly) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OSUBengal Posted March 27, 2005 Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 where did you get this info? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaker Posted March 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 [quote name='OSUBengal' date='Mar 27 2005, 06:07 PM']where did you get this info? [right][post="68054"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote] Someone posted it on another board...its tongue in cheek, not serious...get it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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