|High School Harry| Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel ratOkay If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating None Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating: None Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating None When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel ratingThe film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long. ***The film was cancelled because no one wanted to see a movie 9 seconds long. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris can smash an air guitar Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris called 911 to order Chinese food and got it..... Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris once scared the fur off an ewok. We now know that Ewok as Snookie. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris can dry clothes underwater. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating People invented cars to get away from Chuck Norris, then they invented airplanes because they thought Chuck Norris couldn't fly. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris' business card says, "I'll call you" Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012 he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day." Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating Chuck Norris completed a 500 piece puzzle with 300 pieces. Select ratingCancel ratingPoorOkayGoodGreatAwesome Cancel rating The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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