--- YOU HAVE BEEN MADE GOD ---

[Guest BlackJesus]

[b]OK I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY A FUN EXERCISE[/b]
[img]http://www.monsterdistributes.com/300_wide/K10C_300w.jpg[/img][img]http://www.restoringamerica.org/images/10-commandments-paint.jpg[/img]


[b]You have just been made God, it is the year 2005, and you have been asked to make 10 commandments that will be delivered to Earth for all to follow. These rules will be etched in stone and seen as the word of God by some and will influence people for generations. Your job is to create 10 Commandments (only 10, people like nice easy to remember numbers) and the commandment can not be more than 20 words long (these tablets are small, no essays people.) So there you have it.... give us your ten commandments that you recommend to the world. They should start off with THOU SHALL or THOU SHALL NOT...... also remember if you forget things, people will think they are not wrong to do, or just ok with you - since you are now God.

So have fun and lets see your list ........[/b]

[|Bunghole|]

I hate to be cheeky here, but the original 10 actually cover pretty much all the bases.

[Guest BlackJesus]

wow this was actually much harder than I thought, because situations are so complicated that it is hard to condense thou shalls....... but here is my attempt



[b]BJ's 10 Commandments [/b]

[b]1. Thou shall share and give away, at least 51 % of what they earn and own to those more in need than yourself

2. Thou shall not kill another human, unless that person is trying to kill you, or wants you to end their life

3. Thou shall spend at least 1 hour every day helping or volunteering for someone else, for no pay

4. Thou shall not speak for God, Noone knows him more than anyone else

5. Thou shall not physically harm others, unless that person is trying to harm you, or wants you to harm them

6. Thou shall see eachother as family, and treat others in a friendly and loving manner, unless they first begin to treat you badly

7. Thou shall care for financially and emotionally every single child that one fathers and mothers

8. If thy is over 15, Thou shall never physically or sexually carry out any behavior with someone under 15 years of age.

9. Thou shall be productive with thyself, and work each day to add to the world

10. Thou shall do unto others, only what the others wish to be done unto them[/b]

[Guest BlackJesus]

[quote]I hate to be cheeky here, but the original 10 actually cover pretty much all the bases.[/quote]


[quote]THE 1O according to most

1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.

4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

5. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

8. Thou shalt not steal.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.[/quote]

[color="purple"][i][b]Bung you can't be serious.... try the exercise yourself.... it is hard to cover all of the nuances of life into 10 things..... 'according to the 10 commandments one can child molest, rape, do drugs, have orgies, fuck animals, beat children, you can't even kill people who are about to kill you, you can be an asshole to everyone, torture others, you don't have to have any charity for others.... etc etc etc etc I could go all day [/b][/i][/color]

[Jamie_B]

Not 10, just 2.

Mathew 22:34:40

[quote]34 But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”

37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”[/quote]

[Guest BlackJesus]

[quote]And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”[/quote]

[i][b]Under this.... if you are suicidal and hate yourself.... you could kill your neighbor....

also many people don't love themself..... and niether one of these 2 commandments address

raping animals (Christians don't believe in Beastiality), child molestation, murder, theft, etc etc etc [/b][/i]

[Guest steggyD]

[quote name='BlackJesus' date='Oct 1 2005, 07:58 PM']wow this was actually much harder than I thought, because situations are so complicated that it is hard to condense thou shalls....... but here is my attempt
[b]BJ's 10 Commandments [/b]

[b]1.  Thou shall share and give away, at least 51 % of what they earn and own to those more in need than yourself

2.  Thou shall not kill another human, unless that person is trying to kill you, or wants you to end their life

3.  Thou shall spend at least 1 hour every day helping or volunteering for someone else, for no pay

4.  Thou shall not speak for God, Noone knows him more than anyone else

5.  Thou shall not physically harm others, unless that person is trying to harm you, or wants you to harm them

6.  Thou shall see eachother as family, and treat others in a friendly and loving manner, unless they first begin to treat you badly

7.  Thou shall care for financially and emotionally every single child that one fathers and mothers

8.  If thy is over 15, Thou shall never physically or sexually carry out any behavior with someone under 15 years of age.

9.  Thou shall be productive with thyself, and work each day to add to the world

10.  Thou shall do unto others, only what the others wish to be done unto them[/b]
[right][post="160628"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]
Your #1: What if I am one of the needy? Would giving away 51% of what I have just so someone else can give me a little back be efficient?

Your #2: Let's say someone is trying to kill me with a knife, but I could easily close the door and lock it to keep them away. According to your rule, I should just shoot them with my AK instead.

Your #3: What should I help them with? What if they are busy jacking themself off at that time? Should I help him with that?

Your #4: Say that God really does come to me and tell me to say something for Him in His name. Should I then obey your rule, or should I listen to God?

Your #5: See #2

Your #6: If I treated everyone as family, who would I be allowed to sleep with or marry, you know, if I were outside of Kentucky. [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/3.gif[/img] (I know you like that one)

Your #7: Not much to say about that one, except for how long? Should we care for them financially all the way to death?

Your #8: Ok, but I have 19 year old dog. Can I have sex with it?

Your #9: What is productive? What kind of work should I do?

Your #10: What if the others like to burn themselves with candles or some shit like that? Should I go over and help them?

[Guest BlackJesus]

[quote]Your #1: What if I am one of the needy? Would giving away 51% of what I have just so someone else can give me a little back be efficient?

Your #2: Let's say someone is trying to kill me with a knife, but I could easily close the door and lock it to keep them away. According to your rule, I should just shoot them with my AK instead.

Your #3: What should I help them with? What if they are busy jacking themself off at that time? Should I help him with that?

Your #4: Say that God really does come to me and tell me to say something for Him in His name. Should I then obey your rule, or should I listen to God?

Your #5: See #2

Your #6: If I treated everyone as family, who would I be allowed to sleep with or marry, you know, if I were outside of Kentucky.  (I know you like that one)

Your #7: Not much to say about that one, except for how long? Should we care for them financially all the way to death?

Your #8: Ok, but I have 19 year old dog. Can I have sex with it?

Your #9: What is productive? What kind of work should I do?

Your #10: What if the others like to burn themselves with candles or some shit like that? Should I go over and help them?[/quote]

[color="purple"][i][b]Great questions Steggy.... the point I am making is that it is nearly impossible to make 10 commandments for anyone..... Mine have hundreds of holes in them...... I also believe that - if there is a God "it" is also smart enough to realize this, and would never have given 10 things as a burning bush to a bearded guy on top of a mountain..... Life is nuanced, complicated, and complex..... Thou shalls are not. [/b][/i][/color] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/18.gif[/img]

[Beaker]

1. Thou shalt realize that all come from and are part of the same source.

2. Thou shalt commit no crimes against another because it is simply commiting crimes against yourself.

3. Thou shalt share freely amongst yourselves, because keeping from others is keeping from yourself.

4. No person shalt be percieved as greater than any other.

5. No living thing is of greater, or lesser importance than any other.

6. Life proceeds through evolution.

7. Thou shalt value and cherish home, family, and education.

8. There shall be no money.

9. All sexually attractive females shall give themselves freely to Beaker.

10. None shall drive slowly in the left lane in front of Beaker.

[Guest BlackJesus]

[i][b]nice job Beaker.... I like many of yours... although there are numerous holes as well.....

Right when I was about to say... hey these are better than the Bibles 10, you throw in #9 & 10.... But even with those I like it better than Moses' [/b][/i]

[Beaker]

I thought 9 and 10 plugged the holes.

[-Dan_Bengals_FL-]

[b] 1.Thou shall not kill or harm another human, unless that person is trying to kill or harm you.

2. Thou shall do unto others, only what the others wish to be done unto them.

3. Respect, treat well and finacially assist all members of thy family, especially your offspring.

4. Thou shall work hard and contribute physical labor and finicial assistance to the betterment of the world each day.

5. Thou shall not engage in sexual behavior with any female under the age of 16.

6. Thou shall not steal, rape, or physically harm others.

7. Thou shall realize people are one with the enviornment and treat the whole environmental community with enormous respect and care.

8. Thou shall respect education, people of all "races", men and women.

9. Thou shall realize that no human is closer to me (God) than any other human. You are as aware of my (God's) wishes as any other.

10. Thou shall aid the less fortunate; the less financially fortunate (as long as they are trying to advance themselves), physically handicapped and mentally handicapped; for they face challenges greater than yours. [/b]

[The Scales]

[quote name='Jamie_B' date='Oct 1 2005, 10:09 PM']Not 10, just 2.

Mathew 22:34:40
[right][post="160661"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]



I've run that quote on this board it's a good one.....

[SCARFACE_BENGAL]

[quote name='BlackJesus' date='Oct 1 2005, 06:58 PM']wow this was actually much harder than I thought, because situations are so complicated that it is hard to condense thou shalls....... but here is my attempt
[b]BJ's 10 Commandments [/b]

[b]1.  Thou shall share and give away, at least 51 % of what they earn and own to those more in need than yourself

2.  Thou shall not kill another human, unless that person is trying to kill you, or wants you to end their life

3.  Thou shall spend at least 1 hour every day helping or volunteering for someone else, for no pay

4.  Thou shall not speak for God, Noone knows him more than anyone else

5.  Thou shall not physically harm others, unless that person is trying to harm you, or wants you to harm them

6.  Thou shall see eachother as family, and treat others in a friendly and loving manner, unless they first begin to treat you badly

7.  Thou shall care for financially and emotionally every single child that one fathers and mothers

8.  If thy is over 15, Thou shall never physically or sexually carry out any behavior with someone under 15 years of age.

9.  Thou shall be productive with thyself, and work each day to add to the world

10.  Thou shall do unto others, only what the others wish to be done unto them[/b]
[right][post="160628"][/post][/right][/quote]


HERE ARE 10 MORE COMMANDMENTS:
- Thou shalt not call me "Dude"

- Thou shalt not listen to music radio

- Thou shalt when in doubt, poke it with a stick

- Thou shalt question authority

- Thou shalt not begin a phone call with, "how about that Earnhardt, by Cracky"

- Thou shalt understand that after the use of the phrase "Hey, watch this," someone's gonna get hurt

- Thou shalt always trust your dog for he/she will never lie to you

- Thou shalt understand that 40% of what I say is 60% true and accurate

- Thou shalt "Git-Er-Dun"

- Thou shalt not let the truth get in the way of a good story