LostInDaJungle

Finally watched the entire thing. I've always kinda liked Jared Goff, and his story was amazing. Really impressed by the Lion's coaching staff and how they welcomed him into the fold. And I could have gone for at least 10 more minutes of his wife in a Bikini. Damn girl! If those puppies are for sale, I'll take the one with the lil' pink nose. Kirk Cousins seems like a really nice guy, but goddamn is he BORING. Total "Basic Bitch" energy. Kinda a-hole who likes Celine Dion and Coldplay. Joe Burrow might be going through a real life "Big". When they talk to him, it was like a 12 year old made a wish with a Genie to be the best QB in the league. As far as the rest... I felt like there was a lot of context missing about what was going on around them. Like we were looking at QB performance in a bubble. They only briefly mention the Lions missing their entire front 7 on defense. I liked Cousins' communication with his coaches. Hated Joe's. Goff was in the middle. Didn't really feel that same two way lane of conversation with Joe and his coaches. Maybe it just wasn't shown. In a broader sense... I wanted Joe to be a lot more vocal. Long before Episode 6. Joe's Mom was Terri Garr. Jamarr Chase looks exactly like his Dad. I don't think you can understate just how good Jamarr is, and how much those two guys being able to bring their existing chemistry to the league has helped them both achieve great things. I loved the "I didn't do shit" exchange. I also really enjoyed them showing Cousins struggling with a new playbook. Goes to show that even 13 year vets can struggle picking that stuff up and just how slim the margins are.

I like seeing Millionaires going to Great Clips. :)

I knew Emmit Smith. I bowled with Emmit Smith. And you sir, are no Emmit Smith.

Took 3 weeks to think of a comeback? Yikes.

https://englishfornoobs.com/english-lessons-for-beginners/

This. As pointed out, Tee costs MORE than Chase over the next two years. (At least in cap hit) The cap structures for both deals make them impossible to quantify in the terms of signing bonus... But Chase got $6M more in cash this year - and also signed for one extra year. Tee got the Franchise tag last year, Jamarr played for rookie wages. Short term... Tee is pretty frontloaded. Jamarr also has quite the balloon payment coming up 3 years from now ($33M cap 2027, $41M cap 2028), one year before we have a possible out. The same year Tee becomes expendable. Hmmm... "We need you to negotiate an extension and lower your cap hit or we're not going to have a choice..." For a front office that doesn't get creative with contracts to begin with, there's something VERY fishy about frontloading a guy with a safe out in two years. You may love her, but the pre-nup says she gets nothing. And I have to be honest with you... The deal they did with Burrow is going to hamstring this club. Right now, Burrow, Chase, and Higgins are 33% of our cap. Giving Burrow a "Mahomes" deal and you're looking at around $12M in cap space we could be working with. A contract that looked more like Jefferson's, and we could cut Higgins and/or Chase's cap hits in half. But it also kind of a moot point when they still have 12% of their available cap space unspent. So... I guess we're being kind in assuming the club has a plan at all. Because I don't think they do. They can't figure out what to do with $32M in cap space. We pay like the #30 Defense, why expect a top ten unit? I guess us finishing #25 last year was pretty good. I mean.... I don't want to be doom and gloom. Sure, This year there wasn't much worth getting.... But we still have Jessie Bates' cap space available. And being the 2021 runner up is starting to fade. Since then, the Bengals have regressed, and I'm not seeing the moves this offseason to stop the bleeding. I mean... Hope the Rooks pan out. But damn... Is that your best plan? The Blind Squirrel method? Are the scouts different than the LAST time you tried this plan? How does this not meet the definition of insanity? But hey... Geno Stone was able to take a pay cut! And we cut that loser Pratt... Haha... He sucked anyway. We have two rookies, and when have rookies ever failed us! They're even writing the same puff pieces about the O-Linemen like they did Volson, and Ogubheui, and... 10 year vets are totally overrated. $32M gonna build a sweet ass trophy case for all our Lombardis! Who-Dey! We're a month away from our first preseason game against the Eagles and both RDE's remain unsigned. (Which, if they hold out puts at the #32 paid defense by a LONG shot) This is the plan... Again? How did two disgruntled WR''s start last year? Why do we keep having these dang slow starts. Let's blame Zac and call the agents idiots. Anyway... It's going to be up to Tee to keep his job. He's got an easy out in two years, but also a pretty manageable cap hit if the cap keeps growing like it has been. They'll use him to put the squeeze on Jamarr and Joe. They'll both restructure so we can keep our sacred $20M in free cap space. We're doing 95% of the job with only 90% of the resources. The accountant's dream. Ayn Rand would be proud.

A 1st for Higgins is probably VERY wishful thinking. He's not a cheap rookie or top of his position. He'd be 28, and carry a $30M cap charge. If he stays at current production... A late second or high 3rd. Crazy to think that for the next two years, Tee has a higher cap number than Chase. And Tee's $30M guaranteed at signing is double what he's made since he's been in the league - even with one year of the franchise tag.

How many teams are going to be interested in Volson when he's 30? Lucas Patrick? Seems to me with $30+M in cap space and a lot of questions at both Guard positions... Might be worth getting one of these guys as insurance. But who am I to question the winning ways of The Family?

This doesn't look like a team trying to maximize the window for their 28 year old QB.

With 3 weeks left to go before training camp.... Which one of these scenarios do you see happening first? My guess is that Trey's contract is not going to be the hill they die on. But if Trey is insisting that he has to have multi-year guarantees to suit up this year.... My guess is that they'll work out a way to "pay" him for this year and he'll walk next year. The big question is... Is Trey even interested in making $32M this year with no multi-year guarantees? I think eventually he figures out that it's best for him to keep playing at a high level. The Bengals have the cap space and nowhere else to spend it. I do think Stewart's contract is a hill they will die on. So... The question becomes if Stewart is going to back down. Right or wrong, Katie is not going to let a Rookie tell her what she can and can't do. Plus they have WAY more leverage against Stewart.

It would be less frustrating if it wasn't a pattern of behavior on the part of Katie and Co. Every year it's some camp holdout. Every year we're one of the last to get our rookies signed. I mean - Is the agent the problem? Sure, that's his job. But it's not like other agents aren't problems for other teams. Tee changed agents to find someone more compatible with the Bengals and there was still some teeth pulling. Is Trey just greedy? Then so is Chase, Higgins... The NFL pays out a lot in salary because it makes a lot of money off these guys. Meh. Should Stewart just roll over and accept new language because other teams do it? Sure, maybe, but Mims was the last to sign... Hill didn't go down smooth either. All of the names change in these very similar stories except those of the Blackburn clan. I mean.... Damn. What a run of bad luck, hunh? I guess nice guys really do finish last. What are the odds that both of our RDE's have idiot agents and would rather talk to the media than play football. Why us? Life is unfair. Everyone's judged by their mistakes divided by how much money they make.

You complain just like the rest of us during the season. Some of us just understand that the moves we make in May have a lot to do with us losing to the Patriots in September. Call it "butt hurt" if you must... But I'm not turning on the players I supposedly root for on the weekends, and I'm sure not rooting for our front office to squander what has been the best chance in 50 years of finally winning a super bowl despite ourselves. You've your own lil' "butt hurt" you've been peddling for 30 pages too. So... Pot, meet kettle. Kinda weird to come to a message board and be upset people are talking about things. But you do you.

I'm glad you find it funny. I'm guessing the last 40 years have been a straight up party for ya.

And you can enjoy rooting for the league's 25th ranked defense I guess.