LostInDaJungle

https://deadspin.com/report-kellen-winslow-ii-couldnt-stop-masturbating-in-1835493794

Based on Mike Mayock and Smell Kiper. The fans used to be pissed that we never did our own scouting, now they're mad because we didn't take a guy where Kiper said we should have. Unless you're a traveler from an alternate dimension, you have no idea where he would have gone. Love or hate the player, not his draft spot.

Yeah, screw that Gronkowski guy. Wait, who were we talking about again?

No, what I'm saying is that when someone asks you if you're a dirty player and you start justifying why you play that way, you probably are a dirty player. "I just can't play patty-cake" is another way of saying "I'm there to hit dudes, hard." Which, judging by Burfict's on field antics, includes flopping, cursing, whapping guys in the nuts after the play.... And for a player who has never seemed to understand that there's a line between playing aggressively and still playing, that's a very troubling comment. And seriously, for all of this "Burfict tough guy" nonsense... How many times did he flop? How many times did he try to be slick and draw a foul when the other guy retaliated for being whapped in the nuts? Burfict was a little bitch. A moron trying to be clever. A guy who dragged down every game he was in. Sure, Mr. Tough guy twisted an ankle after the play was over, or managed to concuss a guy who was already being tackled. You see, if you're not a dirty player. You say "I respect the game" or some shit like that. Burfict doesn't. In fact he takes an antagonistic view of the game. It's there to limit him. From what? Dunno. If you ask a guy why he beats his wife and he says "I don't, but the bitch just won't listen sometimes", you're talking to a wife beater. When you ask a guy if he's a dirty player and he says "I'm not, but it's my job to try and hurt people", you're talking to a dirty player.

Go Panthers. Yeah, at this point Burfict could probably get a concussion changing his mind too fast. Dude basically gave himself a concussion in every game he played whether they took him off the field or not, and that's college too. He's at what, a hundred or so over his lifetime?

Really, isn't he saying he's a dirty player? I mean, no one means to hit their wife, but you have to have discipline. If I'm too soft on her, I'm not doing my job. Those are the words of a dude who still doesn't get it. At the end of the day, the dude is just not a pro... On any level. He was blessed with a 10 Million dollar body and cursed with a nickel brain. He can't acknowledge the rules, much less play within them. And last year he'd rather talk to guys than tackle them. Who knows, maybe he'll straighten up for a bit in Oakland... But the real Burfict will be back at the most inopportune times, just like he was for us in 2015. Good riddance.

It's a trick question - They all quit.

At this point, we're going to wind up hiring Marvin to be the DC.

Also good tips for using Tinder.

Talk about holding all of the leverage. "I demand $700M a year, or you can explain to the fans why you didn't hire me and be stuck hiring Hue Jackson."

One hell of a game though.

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2019/jan/18/showboat-billionaire-nfl-team-owner-installs-imax-cinema-on-superyacht

If I'm the new HC... It's a weak class at QB. And Andy Dalton is serviceable. I'm going to want to upgrade the O-Line. RG and RT. I want a real backup center. I'll worry about a new QB when he won't be behind Bobby "QB Killer" Hart. LB's HAVE to be upgraded. However, if there's any position that has a short shelf life, it's LB's. And the more reckless they play, the shorter the sell-by date. Size... Speed... Blah... If the guy isn't a good technician, he's going to get hurt. TE's - We need at least one. Outside of that, you roll with what you got. I would be happy with taking 5 linemen, 3 LB's and 2 TE's.

The student who chooses to be his own teacher has a fool for a master. The biggest thing I take away from this is that Zac and Press are both guys who are immensely curious and open-minded. They're "smart" enough to learn from everyone that passes through their transom. As much as the Bengals needed Marvin Lewis' confidence at the time of his hire, he seemed to cling to a very old school mentality and if any criticism was leveled at him it was his refusal to hear outside voices or adapt. My big hope is that the family will listen when it comes to organizational changes. But I could not be more impressed with the Taylor hire.

Or you believe the opposite if you assume he's a liar for no reason. Or that the many media reports after it happened are all part of a conspiracy.