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Everything posted by LostInDaJungle

  1. 40 years without a playoff win.... "Carson Palmer is just telling us what we already knew about Mike Brown to get attention!" Sure thing sparky.
  2. Dear lord. Put down the pipe. Let's assume that the very real, greater than 50% chance of whomever we select being a total bust doesn't exist for a moment. How did Luck do for the Colts? Stafford with the Lions? Hell, Carson Palmer with the Bengals. That's before we walk down the long litany of Johnny Manziel's, Tim Couch's, Akili Smith's, Alex Smith's... I mean, assuming we don't break the kid and he doesn't come broken, what in the world makes you think that Mike Brown is going to field a team around him? Why would you think he could? What about the current coaching staff has convinced you that they can find such talent? Is Burrow going to play all 5 line positions and LB as well? Christ... That same people who thought AJ McCarron was going to be the next Tom Brady and thought Footsteps Finley was going to win us games. And no, I'm not saying we should trade back... That just means that Mike Brown gets to ruin more careers. What I'm saying is... They should say "I'm sorry" instead of congratulating him when he gets drafted. They should play "Don't dream it's over" and young girls should weep openly.
  3. The emphasis was of the "It's even worse that that!" nature.
  4. Reports were that Finley was "broken". Taylor COULDN'T have started him again and kept the respect of his team. You pissed off a guy who has been loyal and who is going to be needed next year when we draft Burrow anyway. You took a 4th round rookie and shattered his confidence behind a makeshift o-line. And if you're telling me that Taylor's eye for talent is so piss-poor that he has to put guys in live games to see if they can play??? That explains him starting everyone, including the peanut vendors, to play LT, LG, RG, C... That's hilarious.
  5. Upgrading to a guy who can't win in the regular season... Priceless.
  6. FTFY. Read the thread. Too many injured players, didn't get to hire his coaching staff. The excuses are piling up. And if you think starting Finley made sense, I have a Mike Brown commemorative trophy to sell you.
  7. All I keep hearing is give him better "assistants" and better players and he'll be a better coach. Funny, I thought good coaches got the most out of their players and helped elevate their assistants. Instead we need assistants to cover up Taylor's deficiencies. Sure, it was still Marvin's roster... But that also gives us a good A/B test of how Taylor is as a coach. If you look up to week 8, the playcalling was abysmal. +70% passing with Joe Mixon running the ball? The decision to start Finley was laughably bad. Hell, I could keep going. I've watched 40 years of Bengals football, and that set a new bar for ineptitude and futility. The point is, Zac Taylor, despite any reasons for being 2-14, did not show me that he has what it takes to run a successful NFL team. So... We want to see if he figures it out on the job? The same crap was spewed when it was Dave Shula. Record aside, he showed no preparedness, no real adherence to a scheme, no real talent for putting the best 11 guys on the field. I understand the need/desire to move on from Marvin, but I thought the idea was someone who could get us over the hump. Now it's a year later and we're all happy with a "rebuild" featuring the office temp? Taylor is a bad coach. You can hope he gets better, if you want to.
  8. I don't want to say the situation with Whitworth led to all of this.... The situation with Whitworth led to all of this. We've spent desperation picks and made desperation moves to replace him and bolster the O-Line since he left and with each failure have dug ourselves deeper into this hole.
  9. Shit. I did. I though Miami closed the season. I'd apologize, but I don't really care anymore.
  10. As my news feed scrolled past revealing the events of the day, there it was. Bengals-Dolphins. My mind reeled - could it be the end of the season already? Alas dear friends, you'll have to find new reasons to drink after this weekend. As the great philosopher Roy Orbison once howled, "It's over, over, over." Ahhhh, look at them funny white people sway to easy listening. Anyhoo. Gonna be hard to make Christmas dinner after the way they fucked this turkey. Gonna be hard to swallow, but that's what you get for sucking all year long. Shout out to my boy, Zac Taylor. 1-15. I feel for you. All of those plays worked in electronic football, why did they seem to fail in the NFL? Joe Mixon seen here converting 3rd and 20 on a shotgun draw Mike Brown. The Grim Reaper won't have to tiptoe 'round the trophy case when he comes to get you. I hope they find you died while jerking-off to pictures of Hitler. I'm going to assume they did, but they're keeping it quiet. Katie and Troy, we fans just don't get how hard it is to run a Billion and a half dollar business you were gifted by virtue of coming from one of Mike Brown's gonads. The fans owe you loyalty and understanding more than you owe them competence. Now, let's raise the price of luxury seats again because $30 Million a year for doing nothing isn't economically feasible. Andy and AJ, thanks for your time in stripes boys. Side Note: I was in Paris and caught a French dude wearing an AJ Green jersey. Asked if he was a fan and he said "No, it was just the coolest looking jersey in the store." Still the coolest jerseys. They just have the stink of being around some ugly football. Better luck in 2020 Bengals. You're going to need it. A lot. Skill might not hurt too, just throwing that out there.
  11. As sure as the sun will come up tomorrow. LOL. Who the hell knows, he could cure malaria after throwing a huge 3rd down pass for all we know. Anything's possible. Maybe they should try starting ME at QB? You never know, I could be the next Russel Wilson. Might as well see what they've got. I'm already 47, they should hurry up and kick the tires. See if there's any life left in this old horse. I can't be worse than Andy Dalton, and I have much nicer hair. And I will sleep with Giselle Bundchen if that's what the position demands.
  12. So Finley and/or Dolegala are the solution? It would be nice if you could just run down to 7-11 and pick up an Arron Rodgers. The choice isn't between Dalton and some mythical game winning once in a generation QB we have stashed on the practice squad. We can eat McDonald's or start searching through the dumpster. Those are our options. And anyone who is just assuming we can dump Andy and it's a slam dunk to start Burrow game one in 2020 - How long have you been a fan? The long line of first round rejects we've seen in Ohio and you still show such confidence? For every Peyton Manning, there's a Ryan Leaf, and an Eli Manning. Just going from Bengals history, there's like a 20% chance that our #1 pick actually plays out his rookie contract. Like I said, it's easy and lazy. You're blaming the waiter for the food being too spicy. It's also boring and predictable.
  13. The playcalling has been terrible. Maybe half on Dalton, but Taylor sure isn't helping him. Everyone had a hard dick for Finley a few weeks ago, how did that work out? Now it's Lady Gaga? Say what you want about Dalton... That's just stupid. It's easy and lazy to blame everything on Dalton. It beggars logic to think that somehow the undrafted third string guy is suddenly going to stroll into a game against the NFL's top defense and do anything other than piss himself. And everyone seems to be forgetting.... If we draft Burrow, your plan is to throw him out week one no matter what?? That has generally been a recipe for disaster. Since Finley has been underwhemling, the Bengals NEED Dalton. That final cap friendly year is a gift. He's our Jon Kitna.
  14. Comes with a side of dead horse, beaten for over three years straight.
  15. AJ is going to want to win some trophies, not take the 50/50 shot of having a Rookie QB pan out in the league.
  16. Taylor has already shown me he couldn't find his own ass with both hands and a flashlight. If you want to wait and see if that changes... Umm, ok.
  17. Good: Andy was lit today. Auden Tate was en fuego. Cordy Glenn is finally buttoning up the backside. He had a good game today. OL in general showed huge improvement. Great energy by the DE. Bad: Still some missed assignments, etc... But hard to argue with results. Ugly: Rock bottom is just a little further away for Zac Taylor and the Brown fam. I can already hear the "Zac showed us some good things at the end of the year" press conference in my head.
  18. You're like a guy who just got a blow job and is upset she didn't brush her teeth. Breathe. Relax. Learn to enjoy the little things.
  19. https://www.si.com/nfl/cincinnati-bengals-owner-mike-brown
  20. None but by inheritance. Mike Brown has bought out all remaining shares in the name of Bengals Inc. over the 90's and 00's. As CEO, he owns all of it.
  21. As someone who has owned several small businesses... No freaking way. You have a guaranteed return on investment. The margins are incredible. Fixed labor costs... Owning an NFL team is literally a license to print money. Mikey thinks small and sees around $30-40 Million a year return on a team whose value is only increasing. You'd have to be Dan Snyder to lose money on an NFL team and even he isn't managing that. So, sell the Bengals for $1 Billion and do what with it? Buy an NFL team? What could you invest that money in that would give you greater returns? And buyers would be lined up around the door. It's a no-lose prestige investment for any buyer or group of buyers. Any self-respecting multi-Billionaire needs to have his own NFL team. They'd move it out of Cincinnati.... Not exactly South Beach or Manhattan.
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