HavePityPlease

My only criteria ever is - the team is fun to watch and you get a feeling as a fan that they at least have a good chance in every game. In 2005 and 2015 that's obviously how the Bengals were, as well as a couple of the other winning seasons (even if they did squeak into the playoffs, or even miss the playoffs, in some of those others). I'm hoping Taylor can at least bring that sense to the team. How can he do it, based on how the Bengals have operated of late? How about: no "bend but don't break", "skin of your teeth" wins and you're just praying player X and Y can last the entire season or you know it's over. No more thin depth under the guise of "building through the draft" (sorry, building through the draft should not include drafting based on "expected need because we're going to low-ball that guy". BPA and keep your damned good players around until they're truly "done"! Do not overpay for "merely adequate"!). And of course as others have said, I am optimistic that we'll finally see real NFL-caliber clock management and adjustments.

Word is McCarthy would only take the Jets job, and that obviously ended badly for him. I say fuck 'im if he's that smug.

Of ffs at this rate and our luck as a fan base, MB will assemble a whole crew of former Bengal retreads: HC: Hue OC: Bobby Brat QB: Kenny "Ok, *This* Time" Zampese DC: Chuck Bendsabutadoesntabreak ST: Darrin Simmons' Pale Shadow OL: Ketchup Boy Redux TE,DT: Super Hayes Bros 2 LB: Sad Bluto DB: Kevin Coyle RB: A Sealed Can of Jim Anderson's Farts WR: Marvin Lewis Jr. Or Whatever TF His Name Is

Well, as far as Zimmer worship I think I speak for a few of us in that Zimmer did a couple of things that few if any other Bengals coach has done in recent memory: he brought a hard-line, total accountability approach, promised improvement when it was needed - and executed it successfully. Add to that his players loved him despite his crusty exterior, and I think you have what a football coach "should" be in a lot of fans's eyes. I agree that the Hue hate is probably overboard in general, but taking him on as head coach is just illogical. He's had zero success despite a lot of big talk and big moves. He is definitely one of the most successful OC's this team has had and the players do love him, but he has simply shown nothing as a head coach. Did he get a raw deal in Oakland and Cleveland? Yeah, probably. But making bets that he just needs "the right situation" is not something most fans are willing to stomach. If the Bengals are going to take a risk it might as well be with someone new who is coming from a winning environment. And yes I agree it is a very high possibility that MB goes with the cheapest option yet again. Even if he doesn't, if the incoming coach doesn't win the fans will apply at least the requisite amount of hate incumbent on an NFL fan base.

Considering the state of NFL fandom I think "meh" is a HUGE compliment. From a prospective coach's perspective they have to decide how much "fan management" is going to factor into their duties. For a guy like Belichick, it's zero-to-negative (because he wins). For Marvin it was required but he would sometimes shirk it with extreme prejudice. For a Jets or Green Bay coach it is probably pretty miserable. From this point of view I consider "meh" to mean the coach might roll their eyes once in a while, but overall it's not a negative experience and you can pretty much ignore it. Compare this to my earlier example of hockey and Mike Babcock up here in Toronto, and it's REALLY extreme. You have every type of fan - you have extremely knowledgeable fans, complete idiot fans, shameless homers and "constantly bitter" types - and LOADS of all of them. People WILL approach him on the street, and probably quite often. To his credit he has embraced all that and has been one of the most honest, accessible and open coaches I've ever seen interviewed. He gives real answers that don't insult the intelligence and knowledge of the fans and he should be an example to any coach in any sport on how to manage a demanding fan base.

Only if it was a minority candidate - I have to think the Rooney Rule applies here?

Well, regardless of the basic quality of life questions, here are some pros/cons for these locations IMO: Denver: Pros - good roster, nice city Cons - no QB, completely unpredictable boss (Elway) who likely has full personnel and game day control. Miami: Pros - ok roster, nice city for some things (not necessarily an NFL coach with a family), attractive to FA's. Cons - inconsistent QB (to put it mildly), muddled roster of underachievers... flood risk New York: Pros - some good pieces, can live in a good spot (a number of choices), young QB with potential Cons - as stated previously, red-headed step child situation, yet a must-win-or-GTFO city/history. Consistent playoffs is a must - and right away. Arizona: Pros - some good pieces, young QB with potential. Cons - Commitment of management seems iffy, brain-melting heat. Cleveland: Pros - excellent young defense, solid pieces on offense. Cons - New management seems to control game-day decisions, QB is a full-time ego management situation, owner is fuckin crazy, city is horrible, fans are horrible - potential Jacksonville-like "decent one year, fall off a cliff next year" situation because of management and player apathy/dysfunction. Cincy: Pros - good roster with a mix of vets with leadership qualities and young guys with potential that should be able to compete right away. QB who is a proven winner (except playoffs... heh). Owner is not going to fire you unless you ask him to <--- big one!, make a winner out of this team and you're pretty much a guaranteed coach of the year candidate. Cons: City is meh, fans are meh (but loyal), limited control that forces you to fight with the owner/GM/angry grampa. Scouting department is a work in progress at best. Little chance of attracting (or even pursuing) good free agents.

Getting back to that, what I've noticed for coaches with an actual winning history and pedigree, what attracts them more than anything else is a sense that they can win with their new team. This often hinges on who the GM and other execs are (very bad start for us) but it of course also depends on the roster (actually quite good for us, as I stated previously). Another, perhaps unnoticed thing is for a coach who is arguably a legened/hall of fame candidate what often attracts them is - challenge. The only potential candidate that maybe fits that mold that I can think of is McCarthy. This sort of thinking is what made me predict my Leafs would land Mike Babcock because he turned down more money, a better roster and a more predictable ownership group for the challenge of finally creating a winner in a "win or I hate you" city. To summarize, my hopes rest on a coach liking the roster and the challenge. They can't possibly "like" the management situation and as you stated the quality of life questions aren't winners either.

In case anyone wasn't watching, Marvin was asked during his presser whether he was offered another role in the org - he laughed (hard) and said no.

This is my stance as well. Marvin did a lot of good things for the team, but regardless of what the outcome is it is time to move on. If we're worse, fine, at least we can hope that it shines more light on the turd that is Mike Brown.

While I have to agree that the team had no chance after a couple of the injuries happened, let's not forget that the defense went in the tank with most of the starters intact (most notably the DL), and that was the reason the season went down the tubes. I mean, Lawson is a good player but did *everything* hinge around him? I sure hope not.

This is an interesting topic. What do people think the Bengals need right now? One potentially attractive thing about this team is that is not in a rebuild situation. Fix the OL and the LB issues and suddenly you have (on paper at least) a very competitive team. Of course the main ingredient that has been missing since forever is *organization*. Give Marvin credit that he seemed to clean up the disorganization around the off-field and non-game related issues (real strength programs, getting and enabling real leaders, accountability, etc), but for me the thing I have to see from a new coaching staff is strict and expansive game-day preparation and organization. Would a promising young coordinator give you that? I'm not totally sold, since recent examples haven't always been great (McDaniels, comes to mind). Regardless of who it is they have to have an almost militaristic approach and be an extreme preparation freak who has the ability to be dynamic on game day - that's it.

Sure but he wasn't getting fined $10K for it

I want no part of the guy. IMO it's not a coincidence that Mayfield went full asshole after Williams took over, he is a notorious enabler of the worst qualities of his players. That is something the Bengals *definitely* do not need. In other news, anyone else watching Marvin's presser? Notice he already has his golf shirt on lol

Aside from not knowing who the coach will be (I am admittedly a little nervous about it - that pic of Alexander almost made me shit my pants), I think we all have to be worried about the draft now. We know Mikey has the "unique" view that the coaches have to be your core "scouts" so if we don't even have a staff anymore... who is scouting? Who has a book on the prospects? Is it all Tobin, and whoever ends up coaching is playing a catch-up game? I get it that our coaches would usually crank up their "scouting" after the season anyway, but I have to think it will be that much harder for a new staff (and perhaps it is yet another thing in the panoply of wonderful things Mikey does that would make a prospective coach run the other way).