Storm Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 [img]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/stormincincy/goodwife.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatScratchFever Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Well, duh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MULLY Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Ahhh yeah!! This just became my wallpaper. MULLY probably be divorced by tomorrow morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 some of those are obviously outdated but this should still be required reading material for all stay at home wives. especially the ones about having dinner ready, the house in order and not greeting your man with complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Posted August 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='eva4ben-gal' post='322783' date='Aug 23 2006, 11:51 PM']some of those are obviously outdated but this should still be required reading material for all stay at home wives. especially the ones about having dinner ready, the house in order and not greeting your man with complaints.[/quote] should be rules to live by for all wives I've been telling my wife for years that she needs to be a little gay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ONYX Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 I tell my women all I want from them is FOOD, SEX and SILENCE. feed me, fuck me, and shut the fuck up !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BlackJesus Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [color="#3333FF"][size=3][b]BJ's Guide to making your wife a good woman ....[/b][/size][/color] [b]- She should always swallow, hell you are married ... and you have to digest some of the tuna juice when you camp out in seamans harbor down under. If she spits .... drop the bitch. - A wife should give her husband a blowjob at least once a week. What the fuck .... that ring cost money .... and missionary can only go so far .... sometimes a guy should just be able to sit back and watch the game while the wife teabags his balls. If she won't .... drop the bitch. - There should be one day a week .... where the wife leaves the husband the fuck alone .... till death do us part .... but damn it's Saturday and the fellas are planning a fishing trip. If she won't give you one day where she doesn't nag or gripe at you .... then drop the bitch. - She should dress up in Lingerie ... at least twice a month. It gets a little old lifting up her old ratty t-shirt to fuck. Would it kill her to put on something sexy ..... if your wife doesn't look attractive to you in lingerie then you need to drop the bitch. She should be hot as well in your eyes. That is all .... BJ, [/b] [i](not married ... and now you see why) [/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ONYX Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='BlackJesus' post='322814' date='Aug 23 2006, 08:35 PM'][color="#3333FF"][size=3][b]BJ's Guide to making your wife a good woman ....[/b][/size][/color] [b]- She should always swallow, hell you are married ... and you have to digest some of the tuna juice when you camp out in seamans harbor down under. If she spits .... drop the bitch. - A wife should give her husband a blowjob at least once a week. What the fuck .... that ring cost money .... and missionary can only go so far .... sometimes a guy should just be able to sit back and watch the game while the wife teabags his balls. If she won't .... drop the bitch. - There should be one day a week .... where the wife leaves the husband the fuck alone .... till death do us part .... but damn it's Saturday and the fellas are planning a fishing trip. If she won't give you one day where she doesn't nag or gripe at you .... then drop the bitch. - She should dress up in Lingerie ... at least twice a month. It gets a little old lifting up her old ratty t-shirt to fuck. Would it kill her to put on something sexy ..... if your wife doesn't look attractive to you in lingerie then you need to drop the bitch. She should be hot as well in your eyes. That is all .... BJ, [/b] [i](not married ... and now you see why) [/i] [/quote] NEW MAN RULE !!!!! (not married also ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 second Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 So long as were on the topic... Jamie_B's man laws. When at the Bar paying for drinks with a 100 dollar bill the hot blonde doesnt start talking to you because you have nice eyes, thought I have been told I have nice eyes. (True story) Dont after meeting me and talking to me for less than a week tell me your sob story about both your parents dieing in a car wreck and how life his hard for you now and then give me another sob story about how your ex just took a bunch of money from you when you ended it, then in less than a week ask me for help with your bills. Now I am a nice and generous guy, but I wasnt born yesterday. (True story) If your wanting to give it up the 1st night I meet you, you are not a relationship type of girl so dont get pissed at me when I dont want one with you. You cant make a Hoe into a Housewife (True story). These come are off the top of the head, Im sure if I thought about it I could go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='Jamie_B' post='322827' date='Aug 23 2006, 08:58 PM']If your wanting to give it up the 1st night I meet you, you are not a relationship type of girl so dont get pissed at me when I dont want one with you. You cant make a Hoe into a Housewife (True story).[/quote] Amen. I had so many friends in college that didn't understand this one and then wonder why their girlfriends cheat on them. I even had one friend whose girlfriend said to him during a drunk makeout session at a frat party "Please don't tell Chris" - His name was Chris by the way. [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//32.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='eva4ben-gal' post='322836' date='Aug 23 2006, 09:12 PM']Amen. I had so many friends in college that didn't understand this one and then wonder why their girlfriends cheat on them. I even had one friend whose girlfriend said to him during a drunk makeout session at a frat party "Please don't tell Chris" - His name was Chris by the way. [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//32.gif[/img][/quote] Trifeling hoe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 no shit but last time I heard they were still together because he has no self-esteem and she buys him expensive gifts. Not to mention she's an ice skater, 5'2" tops with an ass you could bounce quarters off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='eva4ben-gal' post='322841' date='Aug 23 2006, 09:18 PM']no shit but last time I heard they were still together because he has no self-esteem and she buys him expensive gifts. Not to mention she's an ice skater, 5'2" tops with an ass you could bounce quarters off.[/quote] Well there ya go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 So lets hear your "trifeling hoe" stories now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nati Ice Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 i just want steak and blowjobs... and not necessarily in that order Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 If mean "your" by my own personal experiences I can't help you there because a hoe will usually give herself away in the first few minutes of conversation so I know what I'm dealing with. Hoes are great as long as you know what they are and how to treat them. But if you want some more stories about my dumbass frat brothers I guess I can indulge you. One guy met this really cute sorority girl at a party. Took her home and fucked her, then proceeded to date her. About a week into the relationship she decided it would be a good idea to flash all of us after only a couple beers and he was fine with this and so were we. Well after about a year of dating and meeting the family and all that shit he finds out she's been cheating on him with various guys the whole time. Big suprise there. Another guy met a girl under similar circumstances freshman year. After running into no fewer than six guys she had fucked previously (all one nighters, all during first semester, they met around November)within their first month or so of dating he still kept her around because he tended to be kind of a creeper who scared women away even though most girls found him attractive. Think Joe Namath and Suzie Kolber. Anyway, after not getting the hint he stays with her even after he finds out she is anorexic, has social anxiety disorder, and some other mental disease that I can't recall right now. They basically hibernated in her dorm room and we didn't see him the rest of the year. Then he proposes, she drops out of school because the only reason she was there was to get a ring, and he proceeds to knock her up. They have a miscarrage (sp?), puts on a lot of weight, and then after he has supported her through all her problems he finds out she was sleeping around when one of the dudes comes forward. Well he has the good sense to dump her but he was a wreck the whole next year at school, getting drunk and trying to bring all of us down with his sob stories. Then she has the gaul to get skinny again and come back to school to rub his face in it. Sucks I know but he should have seen the writing on the wall. Once a hoe always a hoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Just thought of another classic. This guy, great dude, is dating this hot little bitchy chick. They met before I knew them so I'm not sure how they got started. Well they are always fighting for some reason or another and she cheated on him frequently. But he was in love and always took her back. D'oh. Well they break up for good one year around Halloween, or at least that was the plan. She calls him up over Christmas break and tells him she's pregnant. He takes her back, marries her, drops out of school three semesters before graduation and takes a job busting his ass at a factory to support her and the baby while she sits on her ass at home and gets fatter by the day. All of this without a DNA test. D'oh. Cute kid though. I hate to see my friends get burned like this but we all try to warn them and in the end it's their own fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 That last one remided me of my former coworker. Dude makes good money and is very frugal with it becuase he's trying to retire before he turns 50. Well he met a cashier at walmart, and of course she saw a payday in him. So he's banging her and in a relationship, so she says shes on the pill (mind you she already has 2 kids), well he broke it off but still wanted the casual sex...yeah she stopped with the pill and is pregnant, he marries her and after the honeymoon she hasnt even moved in with him, only sends him emails when the kids need something and told him she want a bigger house in a more expensive district and to sell his house so they can get it. Last I heard he was starting to talk to a lawyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 that sounds like an clear cut annulment case if I ever heard one. I hope she doesn't get a cent and he should probably sue for custody. He knows its his at least right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='eva4ben-gal' post='322884' date='Aug 23 2006, 10:20 PM']that sounds like an clear cut annulment case if I ever heard one. I hope she doesn't get a cent and he should probably sue for custody. He knows its his at least right?[/quote] I think they are running those tests as well. From what I understand she screwed herself by not moving in, had she moved in he may be in it deeper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva4ben-gal Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 any judge should easily be able to see her for what she is because had she really loved him she would have been in there immediately Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MULLY Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [b][color="#CC0000"][size=5]MULLY'S ADVICE FOR WOMEN[/size][/color][/b] 1) When I ask you to scratch my back or rub my feet that isn't an invitation for me to do yours too. 2) When I say I'm hungry, and you're making dinner, that means I'm hungry now. It doesn't mean that I want you to wash any leftover dishes from lunch or straighten up the kitchen first. 3) When we're going out and I say "Are you ready?" and you reply with a "Yes", I don't expect to wait outside the door for the next 10 minutes while you're fucking around inside doing God knows what. If you're not ready to walk out the door when I ask then don't say "yes." 4) Do you see me sitting at the computer reading the Bengals board? Then don't talk to me because I'm not listening to you. 5) Where's my favorite shirt? Hasn't been washed yet? What the fuck? 6) After sex let me get some sleep. I'll hold you for a minute or 2 but then please, back off and leave me alone. 7) Do you see me watching TV? Then why do you sit right next to me talking on the phone? That fucking thing is cordless, right? Take it in the other room. 8) Where's the remote? I left it on the sofa last night. Why did you put it away? 9) We have to go to the supermarket? Can't you decide what you want before we go and then just go in and get it? Do we have to go down every fucking aisle looking at everything? 10) Hey, if I try to hold it in my eyes will pop out. It doesn't smell that bad anyway. MULLY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Posted August 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='Fulcher_33' post='322954' date='Aug 24 2006, 04:12 AM'][b][color="#CC0000"][size=5]MULLY'S ADVICE FOR WOMEN[/size][/color][/b] 1) When I ask you to scratch my back or rub my feet that isn't an invitation for me to do yours too. [u]2) When I say I'm hungry, and you're making dinner, that means I'm hungry now. It doesn't mean that I want you to wash any leftover dishes from lunch or straighten up the kitchen first.[/u] 3) When we're going out and I say "Are you ready?" and you reply with a "Yes", I don't expect to wait outside the door for the next 10 minutes while you're fucking around inside doing God knows what. If you're not ready to walk out the door when I ask then don't say "yes." [u]4) Do you see me sitting at the computer reading the Bengals board? Then don't talk to me because I'm not listening to you.[/u] 5) Where's my favorite shirt? Hasn't been washed yet? What the fuck? 6) After sex let me get some sleep. I'll hold you for a minute or 2 but then please, back off and leave me alone. 7) Do you see me watching TV? Then why do you sit right next to me talking on the phone? That fucking thing is cordless, right? Take it in the other room. 8) Where's the remote? I left it on the sofa last night. Why did you put it away? 9) We have to go to the supermarket? Can't you decide what you want before we go and then just go in and get it? Do we have to go down every fucking aisle looking at everything? 10) Hey, if I try to hold it in my eyes will pop out. It doesn't smell that bad anyway. MULLY[/quote] Are you fucking my wife Mully? some things that drive me fucking insane *An hour before we are going somewhere my wife is sitting on the couch not getting ready, an hour and a half later she is almost ready but now decides to straighten up the house (while I'm sitting in the car) *My wife goes to bed about 10:00pm and watches TV, the TV is loud enough for her to hear but when I come to bed and want to watch a little TV all of a sudden the TV is too loud because she wants to sleep! but its at the same fucking volume level *My wife has to get up at 530am so she sets the clock for 500am then does the snooze thing at least 5 times! then I have to wake her up at 530am because she sleeps through the snooze alarm! [b]But I dont![/b] So now I'm wide awake at 530am *She has all the clocks set ahead 15 minutes except our bedroom which is set ahead 1 hour! yep, 1 fucking hour! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 The things that get me are: I hate my wife, and she's sleeping with Creechnasty. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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