CP9Bengals Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Carson Palmer once hit a bases empty grand slam home run. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Carson Palmer allows to live. Carson Palmer does not sleep. He waits. Super man wears carson palmer pajamas! Carson Palmer did a tour in Iraq armed with only a football because he wanted a faster and more accurate weapon. Carson Palmer is so good the NFL decided to move the Hall of Fame from Canton to Palmers pool house. "Brokeback Mountain" is more than just a movie. It's also what Carson Palmer calls the pile of dead stealers on his lawn. Carson Palmer's tears can cure cancer. Sadly enough, Carson Palmer never cries. Carson Palmer's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Carson Palmer. Carson Palmer counted to infinity, twice. Carson Palmer lost his virginity before his dad did. Carson Palmer recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. Carson can defy newton's laws of gravity. He once tossed a football straight up and it still hasn't come down. Carson Palmer gave both Skyline and Goldstar their chili recipes. Carson Palmer is currently suing the inventors of the JUGS Machine claiming that they stole the idea of a machine that delivers a perfectly thrown spiral every time from his right arm. Carson Palmer doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. When Carson Palmer does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. Carson Palmer can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Carson Palmer doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColorChanginClique Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 basically chuck norris jokes with palmer in his place. still funny though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CP9Bengals Posted August 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest schotzee Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='ColorChanginClique' post='323407' date='Aug 24 2006, 06:32 PM']basically chuck norris jokes with palmer in his place. still funny though [/quote] Yea ,I like it .Especially the tears curing cancer but never cries Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mongoloido Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Carson can divide by zero... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utts Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Sounds like Jack Bauer jokes to me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='mongoloido' post='323419' date='Aug 24 2006, 04:48 PM']Carson can divide by zero...[/quote] I thought Carson mandated that the word "zero" be replaced with "pissburgh"....hence dividing by pissburgh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nati Ice Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Big Ben wears Carson Palmer pijamas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#40 Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 [quote name='mongoloido' post='323419' date='Aug 24 2006, 06:48 PM']Carson can divide by zero...[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CincyInDC Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 [url="http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/"]http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/[/url] Funny shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBZ Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 [quote]Carson Palmer is currently suing the inventors of the JUGS Machine, claiming that they stole the idea of a machine that delivers a perfectly thrown spiral every time from his right arm.[/quote] I'm partial to this one. BZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akiliMVP Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 [quote]Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.[/quote] [quote]When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.[/quote] [quote]If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.[/quote] [quote]When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.[/quote] [quote]It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.[/quote] [quote]Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumble In the Jungle Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 good stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ONYX Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 I bet you guys didnt know that Carson also...... created the internet owns the rights to the color blue got into a time machine and fucked Marilyn Monroe shot Biggie Smalls was a "Crip" won a Pulitzer prize, Nobel Peace prize, Oscar, a Grammy and a Soul Train music award is 25% black and he killed a lion with his bare hands at the age of 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumble In the Jungle Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 [quote name='sneaky' post='323576' date='Aug 24 2006, 11:59 PM']I bet you guys didnt know that Carson also...... created the internet owns the rights to the color blue got into a time machine and fucked Marilyn Monroe shot Biggie Smalls was a "Crip" won a Pulitzer prize, Nobel Peace prize, Oscar, a Grammy and a Soul Train music award is 25% black and he killed a lion with his bare hands at the age of 4 [/quote] [b]Carson Palmer was [size=7]10X [/size] freestyle champion compared to your 3 [/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 [quote name='Rumble in the Jungle' post='323582' date='Aug 25 2006, 12:21 AM'][b]Carson Palmer was [size=7]10X [/size] freestyle champion compared to your 3 [/b][/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnDaMan7 Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 This thread has got me rolling on the ground. Literally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WhoDeyForever Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 I can't wait till Monday [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/20.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tigris Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 Things you may not know and Peko... we have the same birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 The Army is concidering renaming its Howitzer to Palmer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tigris Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 Carson Palmer wasn't born... he broke out. Okay sorry... that was dumb, I couldn't think of the one about chuck norris and being born. Maybe it was "Chuck Norris wasn't born, he punched his way out" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NASTYNATI Posted August 26, 2006 Report Share Posted August 26, 2006 [quote name='ColorChanginClique' post='323407' date='Aug 24 2006, 06:32 PM']basically chuck norris jokes with palmer in his place. still funny though [/quote] are you a member of the cha-military? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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