Ahh guys I need help

[MULLY]

[quote name='BengalRep85-9' post='716853' date='Oct 23 2008, 10:21 AM']I moved to Highland Heights last december from Fort Thomas but im originally from Newport.
But im loving this area its awesome.[/quote]


Yep, I was born in Cincinnati but moved to Alexandria when I was in Jr. High. Went to CCHS, I was a Camel. hehe!! Moved to Japan in 1991 and have been here ever since. I sure miss Kentucky though.
MULLY

[-GoBengals-]

theres no answer to your question and no fix to your problem. the situation is gonna suck no matter what, and its gonna suck bad. are either of you planning on going to college? how old is she? is shes 16 or so then you should do your best to move on, and if not, why doesnt she drive?

the issue at hand is you want to make lifelong decision at a point in your life where life hasnt really started yet. when i was your age i own a music online store and started 2 record labels and traveled all about the country and probably was making 120k/yr i blew off school....twice... and did what i wanted, my parents gave me advice and i listened to an extent but wtf advice could they give, i was making money they worked 20 years to make, now i had a g/f when it all started.. cared a ton for her, figured we would be married.. a few months in she got all wierd bout me traveling, id spend a week or so in detroit or toledo, or tennessee and be back and forth with show and recording and promoting stuff, so she flat out said she didnt want me to do it, and i had to intention of stopping, i never cheated or did anything wrong, so after a few more weeks i broke up with her, crazy hardest thing that i had ever done.... a few months later she tried to fix things but it was done with..

3-4 years later, it all came to an end, and at the same time i magically(long story) met my current wife. im now married and have 2 kids, so at the time, i spend weeks agonizing, and being upset, and in shambled emotionally, and 6-7 years later, it doesnt matter at all, wtf did i know at 18-19? everything a 19 yr old needs to, but nothing a 25-27 yr old needs to. none of what i did matteres now, im not rich from it, i blew all the cash, and a relationship ended..and end the end life went quite well.. i coulda have kept the girl and skipped the money, but that relationship would ahve ended anyway... sooooo none of it matters.. you can always correct some bad decisions with good ones, and sometimes bad ones turn out to be the best you ever made.. (if that remotely makes sense)

my point, i think, is that whether your 5 yr old, 18, or 35, your goig to go through stress and tramatic experiences, and they will all seem like the worlds ending.. and there is NOTHING to can do to change the way you feel at the time, one thing going through those types of situations is going to show you is who your friends are..

another issue later in life i had, my wife, (not at the time) was removed from me by her family, (long story) and everyone mostly said get over it.. move on.. but i was 22-23, and knew i was going to marry this girl, and one friend was telling me to get to her no matter what. and another was saying to move on.. then called me back one night at 2am, and said "you know, ive been talking to my wife about this, and she said if you love this girl, you need to go get her, if she seperates herself youll know, if she welcomes you, youll know. "

considering we are married with 2 kids id say the right choice was made, but your situation is different, you cant go against your parents unless you no longer need them, and theres no reason to try their patience over this.


your best bet is to see her when you can, work something out with your parents, agree that youll be honest with them, keep your shit in line (whatever they make you do, grades, chores, whatever the fuck) if they allow you to go see her once a month or every 2 weeks.

somethig to show good decision making on your end, and also test your relationship with your g/f. youll accomplish a few things. get to see her, prove some responsability and decision making, and find out what the relationship is really made of... good or bad..

good luck, i hope my ramblings made sense..

[MULLY]

[quote name='GoBengals' post='716859' date='Oct 23 2008, 10:28 AM']good luck, i hope my ramblings made sense..[/quote]


Your rambling made good sense, your spelling left much to be desired. hahahahahaha!!!
MULLY
sorry, Ryan, the door was open for that one

[Who Dey Forever]

[quote name='GoBengals' post='716859' date='Oct 22 2008, 09:28 PM']theres no answer to your question and no fix to your problem. the situation is gonna suck no matter what, and its gonna suck bad. are either of you planning on going to college? how old is she? is shes 16 or so then you should do your best to move on, and if not, why doesnt she drive?

the issue at hand is you want to make lifelong decision at a point in your life where life hasnt really started yet. when i was your age i own a music online store and started 2 record labels and traveled all about the country and probably was making 120k/yr i blew off school....twice... and did what i wanted, my parents gave me advice and i listened to an extent but wtf advice could they give, i was making money they worked 20 years to make, now i had a g/f when it all started.. cared a ton for her, figured we would be married.. a few months in she got all wierd bout me traveling, id spend a week or so in detroit or toledo, or tennessee and be back and forth with show and recording and promoting stuff, so she flat out said she didnt want me to do it, and i had to intention of stopping, i never cheated or did anything wrong, so after a few more weeks i broke up with her, crazy hardest thing that i had ever done.... a few months later she tried to fix things but it was done with..

3-4 years later, it all came to an end, and at the same time i magically(long story) met my current wife. im now married and have 2 kids, so at the time, i spend weeks agonizing, and being upset, and in shambled emotionally, and 6-7 years later, it doesnt matter at all, wtf did i know at 18-19? everything a 19 yr old needs to, but nothing a 25-27 yr old needs to. none of what i did matteres now, im not rich from it, i blew all the cash, and a relationship ended..and end the end life went quite well.. i coulda have kept the girl and skipped the money, but that relationship would ahve ended anyway... sooooo none of it matters.. you can always correct some bad decisions with good ones, and sometimes bad ones turn out to be the best you ever made.. (if that remotely makes sense)

my point, i think, is that whether your 5 yr old, 18, or 35, your goig to go through stress and tramatic experiences, and they will all seem like the worlds ending.. and there is NOTHING to can do to change the way you feel at the time, one thing going through those types of situations is going to show you is who your friends are..

another issue later in life i had, my wife, (not at the time) was removed from me by her family, (long story) and everyone mostly said get over it.. move on.. but i was 22-23, and knew i was going to marry this girl, and one friend was telling me to get to her no matter what. and another was saying to move on.. then called me back one night at 2am, and said "you know, ive been talking to my wife about this, and she said if you love this girl, you need to go get her, if she seperates herself youll know, if she welcomes you, youll know. "

considering we are married with 2 kids id say the right choice was made, but your situation is different, you cant go against your parents unless you no longer need them, and theres no reason to try their patience over this.


your best bet is to see her when you can, work something out with your parents, agree that youll be honest with them, keep your shit in line (whatever they make you do, grades, chores, whatever the fuck) if they allow you to go see her once a month or every 2 weeks.

somethig to show good decision making on your end, and also test your relationship with your g/f. youll accomplish a few things. get to see her, prove some responsability and decision making, and find out what the relationship is really made of... good or bad..

good luck, i hope my ramblings made sense..[/quote]
It made a lot of sense man..Thank you..No words can express how thankful I am to go to a Bengals board and actually get help on personal problems like these..I just got off the phone with her and she wants to leave her mom's ... Her mom is being a bitch again like she always used to be ... Her mom was real addicted to drugs and never really treated Lauren (my girlfriend) like a real daughter... Supposedly, she's all past it but it's not showing right now .. The shitty thing is, is that I don't think her grandparents will give her another chance of coming back to Ohio to live with them. I'm gonna try everything I can to work out the situation with my parents..I told my mom that I thought dad was a dick and she about cried because she knows our relationship..We are hardly ever like this to each other as a family... And yeah Go, we are thinking about going to college..both of us.. Prboably just a school like Miami - Hamilton though..Nothing real big but something where we can both build on if we are still together after all this. She doesn't drive yet because her grandma didn't want her starting at such an early age..She's going to get her license in January.

[Who Dey Forever]

[quote name='steggyD' post='716847' date='Oct 22 2008, 09:10 PM']
Seriously ...[/quote]
Look in my avatar? Haha.

[img]http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/23/l_be43dcd0f2ae4e8f96be9b256b5215ba.jpg[/img]
Prom.

[img]http://a753.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/46/l_fb19a8307aaffb705ddf6127c0b1da48.jpg[/img]

[img]http://a278.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/48/l_8ae2f01fba017325ef82871a43b0820d.jpg[/img]

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='BengalRep85-9' post='716853' date='Oct 22 2008, 08:21 PM']I moved to Highland Heights last december from Fort Thomas but im originally from Newport.
But im loving this area its awesome.[/quote]
I lived in Fort Thomas for about 11 years after getting out of the Army. Went to NKU, crawled home many a night from the Ft Thomas Pub to my apartment...good times.

As for the OP, listen to the advice Mully is giving you, and listen to your parents. I have come full circle on my parents, I had my issues coming up in the world, experimenting with drugs, running away, felt nobody understeood me...but they DID understand me, I just didn't want to hear it at the time.

Now that I am married with kids of my own (but not 40 yet! Clinging eternally to 39!) I completely understand where my parents were coming from.

It just sucks that it takes so many mistakes and overcoming hard feelings and growing up some to come to that realization.

This pattern is the broken record of life for a teenager and their parents. Teenager rebels (or whatever), parents try to advise, teenager rebels some more, etc etc.

Teenager grows up and realizes Mom and Dad were (mostly) right and then try to pass on the same wisdom to their own teenagers...only to be ignored all over again.

[i]**disclaimer** some parents are FUBAR and don't deserve any claims of knowing jack shit...if that is your situation then disregard and do whatever, but it sounds like they care about you and want what's best for your future.[/i]


All I can say to you is that if you have aspirations and ambition for your own personal future (which has zero to do with this girl) then you should focus on that and see if she comes along for the ride. I'm getting a sense that her pregnancy claim is a desperation move of some sort, and that is a BIG turnoff to me. I'd date around, call her less, make her come to you and see what happens. If it's truly meant to be (which rarely happens at your ages, but it does happen), then maybe you take some baby steps towards patching things up.

Also remember that sex does not equal love. I had a hard time with that at your age. I always assumed that anyone that would fuck me must love me, when in fact there are mucho sluts in the world. Not that your girl is, of course.

And as always, until you are really ready to have a child (which is an ENORMOUS investment of time, money, love, etc) wrap that bitch in a jimmy hat, and obey the ultimate advice of Mully...wipe it on the curtains.

[STRAYCAT]

[quote name='Fulcher_33' post='716860' date='Oct 22 2008, 09:36 PM']Your rambling made good sense, your spelling left much to be desired. hahahahahaha!!!
MULLY
sorry, Ryan, the door was open for that one[/quote]
Dude you are young and have alot ahead of ya. Parents may seem like they are keeping you back but when you get older in life and see and hear what they were doing when they were your age you might thank them later because they may have been down that path before and don't want you to make a mistake......chill and think about it. Is she your soulmate and do you really love her to spend the rest of your life with her?. Good luck my friend.

[MULLY]

[quote name='STRAYCAT' post='716870' date='Oct 23 2008, 11:18 AM']Dude you are young and have alot ahead of ya. Parents may seem like they are keeping you back but when you get older in life and see and hear what they were doing when they were your age you might thank them later because they may have been down that path before and don't want you to make a mistake......chill and think about it. Is she your soulmate and do you really love her to spend the rest of your life with her?. Good luck my friend. [/quote]


Good advice except for that last question. At this point in his life, yeah, he thinks she's the one. There ain't nothing any of us can say to change that feeling.
MULLY

[Actium]

[quote name='CJ4MVP85' post='716867' date='Oct 22 2008, 09:13 PM']Look in my avatar? Haha.

[img]http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/23/l_be43dcd0f2ae4e8f96be9b256b5215ba.jpg[/img]
Prom.[/quote]

May I ask why she wears a ring on her left hand? Is that the thing girls do now? I always thought that ring should be reserved for engagement or wedding rings.

[Go Tory Go!]

Keep priorities in mind. Like everyone says, there's a good chance she's just one of many love interests, but you are stuck with one set of parents, and they're going to be around for a long time. Be careful that you don't do anything that will permanently sour your relationship with the party you think is more important.

I saw a similar situation with my little sister. Frankly, I thought the dude was a slouch, not good enough for her. She ended up trying to plan where she went to college to be at the same place as him. That's when I got serious, since these shenanigans were going to end up having long-term consequences.

At first, everyone said I was just a big meanie; but then, the dude showed his true colors - dropped out of college midway through a semester, quit several jobs, enlisted in the navy but then balked at the last second - and the family joined my side. Thankfully, he's finally gone.

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='Go Tory Go!' post='716880' date='Oct 22 2008, 09:40 PM']Keep priorities in mind. Like everyone says, there's a good chance she's just one of many love interests, but you are stuck with one set of parents, and they're going to be around for a long time. Be careful that you don't do anything that will permanently sour your relationship with the party you think is more important.

I saw a similar situation with my little sister. Frankly, I thought the dude was a slouch, not good enough for her. She ended up trying to plan where she went to college to be at the same place as him. That's when I got serious, since these shenanigans were going to end up having long-term consequences.

At first, everyone said I was just a big meanie; but then, the dude showed his true colors - dropped out of college midway through a semester, quit several jobs, enlisted in the navy but then balked at the last second - and the family joined my side. Thankfully, he's finally gone.[/quote]
Couldn't even join the freaking NAVY? Jesus, the Navy is a cakewalk!

[Who Dey Forever]

[quote name='Actium' post='716879' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:39 PM']May I ask why she wears a ring on her left hand? Is that the thing girls do now? I always thought that ring should be reserved for engagement or wedding rings.[/quote]
she just wears it cause she likes it?..she never really explained it to me..just to wear it i guess? lol

[Go Tory Go!]

[quote name='Bunghole' post='716883' date='Oct 22 2008, 09:43 PM']Couldn't even join the freaking NAVY? Jesus, the Navy is a cakewalk!
[/quote]

Actually, he wanted to join the Army, but one of his best skills was swabbing poop decks.

After he balked at the last possible second the first time, I think he finally realized he had nothing going for him, and went back, and I'm glad for him - mostly because that puts him in Monterey, CA for the near future, though I'd be happier with the middle of the Pacific. It's what he needs though - somebody to put a boot up his ass, give him some discipline, and tell him when to eat, sleep, wank, etc.

[Actium]

[quote name='CJ4MVP85' post='716888' date='Oct 22 2008, 09:52 PM']she just wears it cause she likes it?..she never really explained it to me..just to wear it i guess? lol[/quote]

Okay, I guess I'm just old-fashined. A single girl can wear whatever she wants on the right hand; but the left is reserved for a commitment jewelry, such as an engagement ring or wedding band. but maybe it doesn't have the same meaning for the younger generation. Not that I'm all that old, I'm 27 lol, just an Old Soul.

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='Actium' post='716895' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:09 PM']Okay, I guess I'm just old-fashined. A single girl can wear whatever she wants on the right hand; but the left is reserved for a commitment jewelry, such as an engagement ring or wedding band. but maybe it doesn't have the same meaning for the younger generation. Not that I'm all that old, I'm 27 lol, just an Old Soul.[/quote]
A VERY old soul, gauging by your posting history and content. Not that it's a bad thing....just a rare thing.

[CTBengalsFan]

[quote name='Bunghole' post='716897' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:20 PM']A VERY old soul, gauging by your posting history and content. Not that it's a bad thing....just a rare thing.[/quote]

Actium would have fit in in the 1850s

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='Go Tory Go!' post='716893' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:06 PM']Actually, he wanted to join the Army, but one of his best skills was swabbing poop decks.

After he balked at the last possible second the first time, I think he finally realized he had nothing going for him, and went back, and I'm glad for him - mostly because that puts him in Monterey, CA for the near future, though I'd be happier with the middle of the Pacific. It's what he needs though - somebody to put a boot up his ass, give him some discipline, and tell him when to eat, sleep, wank, etc.[/quote]
It's tough to beat off while chipping paint, unless the paint chips can be converted into a usable lubricant.

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='CTBengalsFan' post='716898' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:21 PM']Actium would have fit in in the 1850s[/quote]
Actium fits in [b]now[/b], it's everyone else that cannot or will not use history as a weapon to bludgeon the present.

[Actium]

[quote name='Bunghole' post='716897' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:20 PM']A VERY old soul, gauging by your posting history and content. Not that it's a bad thing....just a rare thing.[/quote]

Indeed. I've carried a hanky since age 3 and am wearing a top hat and tails to my wedding.

[Actium]

[quote name='CTBengalsFan' post='716898' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:21 PM']Actium would have fit in in the 1850s[/quote]

Yes, I feel the 19th century would have been my time. Except I would have died because of Type 1 diabetes. them's the breaks.

I was meant to be an Austrian aristocrat who died in the early phase of WWI, where it looked like the Empire would have prevailed. I could have gone to death believing the Emperor's progeny would rule the Fatherland forever.

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='Actium' post='716902' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:24 PM']Indeed. I've carried a hanky since age 3 and am wearing a top hat and tails to my wedding.[/quote]
Don't forget your pocket watch!

[Actium]

[quote name='Bunghole' post='716901' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:22 PM']Actium fits in [b]now[/b], it's everyone else that cannot or will not use history as a weapon to bludgeon the present.[/quote]

There is one other...































[img]http://www.barackobama.net/pictures/barack-obama-2.jpg[/img]

[Actium]

[quote name='Bunghole' post='716905' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:32 PM']Don't forget your pocket watch!
[/quote]

I did have one...my grandpa gave it to me, but sadly being a kid I broke it and misplaced the remains.

One day, again...

Oh, and I prefer fountain pens

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='Actium' post='716908' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:38 PM']I did have one...my grandpa gave it to me, but sadly being a kid I broke it and misplaced the remains.

One day, again...

Oh, and I prefer fountain pens[/quote]
No quills?

For shame!

[Actium]

[quote name='Bunghole' post='716909' date='Oct 22 2008, 10:39 PM']No quills?

For shame![/quote]

They sell those, and when I get a real job I might pick one up.