Ten easiest teams to hate in the NFL

[Guest The Carson Show]

When the NFL finds itself in our topical crosshairs, I don't play favorites.

That's an easy commitment. With the league still defined by cap-cramped parity, it's difficult to generate favorites.

With rosters shifting from high road to hell in mere months, developing an advanced distaste for one team is a breeze. For the record, I also believe the NFL is the most compelling major professional sports league in the United States.

Perhaps this galloping interest has something to do with perceived fiscal responsibility. And much of this perceived fiscal responsibility is generated by a lack of guaranteed contracts. Put Gene Upshaw in charge of the NBA players' union and Allen Houston may have become a broadcaster years ago.

Anyway, most of us can produce reasonable excuses for hating every team in the NFL.

Unfortunately, I promised this website's content brokers that it would be no problem to whittle my hate list to 10.

This will lead to caterwauling from readers who may not find their most-hated teams on the roster.

Please realize that after considerable weighing of the associated cons, the following list reflects the 10 easiest teams to despise. Some teams attract hate because they're relentlessly successful. Some don't.

Exempt from consideration is The NFL Today team from CBS.

Also failing to meet certain hate requirements are the Arizona Cardinals, who merely serve as proof that Sun Devil Stadium is home to a pair of teams incapable of winning the Pac-10.

Yeah, the Cardinals are magazine-prediction darlings of the NFC West, but they might as well be receiving their mail back in Missouri. Show me something, Denny Green, and I'll believe.

Close to qualifying for the hated hierarchy were the Miami Dolphins, who once again employ unrepentant quitter Ricky Williams. Ricky's unofficial return from his yoga party occurred on Monday Night Football, during which he sported a hideous beard that may provide about five percent of his alleged bodyweight.

We're not sure if Williams realized he'd just invented dread whiskers.

The Denver Broncos were in the running, thanks to the off-season personnel work of head coach Mike Shanahan. Mike took advantage of a buy-one, get-three-free sale of Cleveland Browns linemen. He also traded for a punter who may be a candidate for a roughing-the-kick-blocker penalty, and used a third-round pick to select the notorious Maurice Clarett. It should be noted that Clarett recently proved he's actually fast enough to pull a groin.

That's an impressive list of castaways. But it's time to allow the true hatin' to begin:

[b]Ray Lewis' pregame introduction ritual is getting a little tiresome.

Baltimore Ravens

The variables add up in a hurry.

Beyond the shaky details of his murder-case involvement, linebacker Ray Lewis gains points with a player-introduction dance that suggests the stun gun is a major prop in Riverdance.

Teammate Jamal Lewis has just been released from the hoosegow, which was the reward for allegedly having his cell phone used in a drug deal. The Ravens are thrilled that Jamal doesn't have a machete that some pal can borrow.

Coach Brian Billick didn't need Jamal to put the con in condescending. He can do that all by himself.

But the true measure of Raven hatred has been established by team owner Art "Runway" Modell, who dragged the franchise out of Cleveland without bothering to liberate the city of Drew Carey.[/b]

[b]Dallas Cowboys[/b]

This was an easy choice.

For me, hating the Cowboys began during the hoity-toity days of legendary coach Tom Landry. Sure, I respected Landry and his shift-shaping offense. But the finesse-oriented nature of his attack seemed as incongruous to professional football as a champagne flute is to beer.

Recent upgrades in hate are provided by Bill "Big Tuna" Parcells, who looks great for a man old enough to have invented football.

Keyshawn Johnson, his hand-picked receiver, produced a self-inspired literary effort called Just Throw Me The Damn Ball. Any updating of this premise should provide the impetus for a companion tome called Just Shake The Damn Cornerback.

However, the key to all Dallas Cowboys hatred is egomaniacal owner Jerry Jones, whose current face remains under warranty.

[b]Green Bay Packers[/b]

As a lad, I used to sit around the cave and use my torch to read Packer-related etchings on the walls. I was fan enough to know that Fuzzy Thurston was not an umbrella drink.

Brett Favre's recent mistakes in postseason play have cost the Packers chances at glory. (Brian Bahr / Getty Images)

But I have to acknowledge the contemporary Packers' potential for peripheral hate.

Let's start with Brett Favre, a truly great quarterback recently admired for overcoming one personal crisis after another.

It's too bad that much of his on-field greatness is tempered by even worse decision-making than what was accomplished by the people who used to dress Cher.

Teaming up with Brett to unnerve fans and gamblers is running back Ahman Green, a certified star whose acute fumbling continued until he received a wrist-accessory tip from John Madden.

Note: The Lambeau Leap had enough vertical to jump the shark years ago.

I also refuse to embrace the cheesehead-triangle hat until someone wears a lid that resembles a wine bottle.

[b]New York Giants[/b]

Any team that represents such a commanding city is overdue for some grief.

Our lead-off man is second-year quarterback Eli Manning. Perhaps it didn't bother you, but his pre-draft, anti-San Diego pouting routine almost had me ralphing corn chips all over the sofa. The only man I'll allow to manipulate the draft is Mel Kiper Jr.

Eli is abetted by head coach Tom Coughlin, who made news last year by insisting that a 9 a.m. meeting begins at 8:45. Well, if Manning doesn't come through in a hurry, Tom's extra 15 minutes may be up.

Not to be forgotten is tight end Jeremy Shockey, whose performance/fame ratio suggests that in New York, less is more.

[b]New York Jets[/b]

Even though Jets hero Joe Namath was one of my favorite players, he still ranks as one of the most overrated quarterbacks in NFL history.

Current Jets QB Chad Pennington insists that it's an honor to cover his team. Unfortunately, it's not much of an honor (or challenge) to cover some of his receivers.

It also should be noted that the only social value attributed to "J-e-t-s ... Jets, Jets! JETS!" occurs when the chanting drowns out ESPN's Chris Berman on draft broadcasts.

[b]Oakland Raiders[/b]

In weighing the greatest examples of retreating genius, Al Davis should be considered the Woody Allen of pro football. Al converted many fans to haters by threatening to move the Raiders to any city capable of erecting a venue with luxury suites.

Despite the seeming end of his musical chairs, this remains a franchise — and fan base — in denial. With the exception of the team that absorbed a Super Bowl rout in San Diego, the Raiders have been relative chumps for years.

What's my solution? Two eye patches.

It doesn't hurt to employ Randy Moss, although putting Moss in silver and black seems even more frightening than suiting up Martha Stewart as deep threat on The View.

[b]Philadelphia Eagles[/b]

Gotta offer proper respect to the fans — they booed Santa Claus. Now he coaches the team. It's a shame these loyal loudmouths didn't realize the elves deserved much more grief than Santa.

Anyway, I sort of like Donovan McNabb, but would prefer that — instead of Chunky Soup — he open a can of whup-ass a bit more often.

The hatred clincher is, of course, Terrell Owens.

T.O. has failed to realize that even though he plays in the West Coast offense, he works in a city with East Coast sensibilities.

Let's crystallize this arrangement: putting Owens in Philly is as strategically kaput as hiring Michael Jackson to play Branson, Mo.

[b]St. Louis Rams[/b]

Anyone not in St. Louis has to despise owner Georgia Frontiere, who put the shrew in shrewd.

How'd she manage that? Well, during her getaway dance in Anaheim, she secured a lousy on-field product and subsequent fan disinterest by bringing back Chuck Knox.

Georgia's equal is coach Mike Martz, an offensive-minded fellow who burns more timeouts than a day-care temp.

Mike Martz in conference with his offensive stars on the sidelines is a familiar sight for Rams fans. (Jed Jacobsohn / Getty Images)

Under Mike's watch, the 2004 Rams had a turnover ratio of minus-24; that's just a bit worse than the employee roster at any self-respecting convenience store.

[b]San Francisco 49ers[/b]

This hate listing has very little to do with that controversial film produced and directed by the Niners' media relations guy.

For the record, this cinematic work won first prize at the Canned Film Festival.

But 49ers fans should even hate this team after grotesque mismanagement twisted it from model franchise to first in the draft rotation.

[b]Washington Redskins
[/b]
Owner Daniel Snyder helped his team secure an automatic hate bid.

After throwing millions at limping veteran players, Snyder tossed his checkbook at Steve Spurrier. Then he lobbed it at Joe Gibbs.

According to league insiders, Snyder may pay for a séance to conjure George Allen and/or Vince Lombardi.

By the way, the team nickname is offensive. My suggestion for its replacement is Washington Pasty White Guys.

Even though he was taking a swing at the insufferable fans of the Dallas Cowboys, Gibbs did his part in helping the franchise earn a spot on this list.

In case you missed it, Joe said Cowboys fans were the ugliest people on the planet.

Then he said it was a joke.

Gibbs does this every year.

Last year's joke was installing Mark Brunell as his starting quarterback.

[-Dan_Bengals_FL-]

The number one most hated team has to be the Ravens. There is no team easier to hate, although Big Ben makes the Steelers easier to hate by the day.

[Guest The Carson Show]

[quote name='Dan_Bengals_NJ' date='Aug 11 2005, 01:32 PM']The number one most hated team has to be the Ravens. There is no team easier to hate, although Big Ben makes the Steelers easier to hate by the day.
[right][post="128846"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]
100% agree with you Dan
i hate the ravens far more than any sports team
billick, ray and jamal lewis, the fans....there is just so much to hate about the ravens

[EnglishBengal]

Heres my top 5 most hated teams - most hated first....

1. 49ers
2. Raiders
3. Cowboys
4. Rams
5. Steelers

49ers are top 'cos they beat us in 2 superbowls and ruined our chances for glory. And funnily enough I DON'T hate the ravens as much as Pittsburgh or Cleveland.

English Bengal.

[Guest BlackJesus]

[i]I have always hated the 69ers , Cowcunts, and AssRaiders [/i]

[Jophis]

My most hated 5:

1. Ravens
2. Steelers
3. Patriots
4. Raiders
5. Cowboys

[JC]

[quote name='BlackJesus' date='Aug 11 2005, 03:13 PM'][i]I have always hated the 69ers , Cowcunts, and AssRaiders [/i]
[right][post="128894"][/post][/right][/quote]
[img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img] [img]http://forum.go-bengals.com/public/style_emoticons//24.gif[/img]


but what about cleveland?

[|Tigers Johnson|]

Any team that has T.O. on it or any team that has a Rosenhaus holdout!!!

[|Bunghole|]

That was a funny article...
I've always hated the Cowgirls, the Browns, the Raiders and the Broncos...

[Storm]

1. 49ers
2. Raiders
3. Cowboys
4. Ravens
5.Steelers
6-10 The Whole NFC East! Hate em all!

[Guest Matt_Six]

I hate the Ravens more than any other franchise in professional sports.

I don't really hate anyone else...

I dislike the Patriots and the Steelers. Shoot... I don't even hate the Browns - I just hope they lose every game.

I hate the Ravens... and all Raven fans.

[Guest Master Shake]

With all the ass-kissing ESPN does of the Patriots (and the Red Sox)...I can't believe they don't make this list. I know they don't have as many egomaniacal players as some teams on this list do, but I just get so sick of hearing over and over again "Belichek is an unparallelled genius", "I'll take Tom Brady over Peyton Manning every time", and "It's harder to have a dynasty in the salary cap era, so the Pats are the best team ever."
I guess any team with that much success gets a lot of press, but I think there was a huge amount of luck that went into winning those 3 titles, and the media won't acknowledge that even one bit.
They become the most hated because they're the media darling.

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='Master Shake' date='Aug 11 2005, 10:10 PM']With all the ass-kissing ESPN does of the Patriots (and the Red Sox)...I can't believe they don't make this list.  I know they don't have as many egomaniacal players as some teams on this list do, but I just get so sick of hearing over and over again "Belichek is an unparallelled genius", "I'll take Tom Brady over Peyton Manning every time", and "It's harder to have a dynasty in the salary cap era, so the Pats are the best team ever."
I guess any team with that much success gets a lot of press, but I think there was a huge amount of luck that went into winning those 3 titles, and the media won't acknowledge that even one bit.
They become the most hated because they're the media darling.
[right][post="129184"][/post][/right][/quote]
The Patriots, whom I am sick of for the same reasons you quote, are still a team of destiny. Not really dominant in any statistical categories, other than wins. Love 'em or hate 'em (I hate them but envy their team focus and cohesion--if you don't, you're a liar and not a true football fan, especially in this modern era of me-first money shitbags like TO.....), they have been an astoundingly good team. That is the last good thing I will say about the Patsies....those winning fuckers....

[TheBZ]

1. Ravens
2. Browns
3. Patriots
4. Cowboys
5. Packers

The latter three are all because of the 'preferential treatment' they get from the media.

This is especially true for the Cowboys and Packers...The 90s are over. You suck.

BZ

[Beaker]

1. 49ers...theyre wearing our SB rings.
2. Bills...had to endure 20+ yrs of their idiotic fans in Rochester.
3. Ravens...Modell and Murderers make it easy.
4. Browns...this gene pool needs a lifeguard.
5. Cowboys...more than JFK needed to be assassinated in Dallas.
6. Raiders...fuck it, just wipe out the entire bay area and make it a real black hole.
7. Steelers...choke 'em all one by one by shoving those fucking towels down their throats.
8. Patriots...call me un-American if you must.
9. Redskins...squeal like a pig, I mean hog.
10. Giants...Ive hated tuna ever since.

[VonBlade]

1) Ravens. The only team where the bars they are in don't serve beer.
2) Steelers. In our division. The colour guy on UK coverage loves them. Nuff said.
3) Patriots. Their QB performance on friday proved that Brady ain't all that. But mainly I get sick of the media lubing themselves up in readiness every time they play.
4) Falcons. Shit team with a pretend QB. In fact my sole reason for hating them is Vick. So come back to me in 5 years
5) Giants. A whining QB, a me-first TE with zero ability. What is there to like?
6) 49ers. I'll never forgive them. So pleased that are crappy right now.

VB

[TheWretchedMass]

1. Steelers by a long shot. They jumped up the list after last year and all their fans acting like their the Patriots or something. I still dont' understand how going from 6-10 to 15-1 makes you a dominate team.

2. 49er's - Never got to see the unfortunate SB's but it's nice to see that they have taken our place at the bottom. My mom loved Montana...and I'm a bengals fan...can't have that.

3. Ravens - Sick of hearing about their 2000 Defense every year...It's been five years, what have they done since then? Jack Shit. I love Marvin but he helped those convicts win a SB.

4. Pats - from the single fact that Corey went there and got a ring. I wonder how many times a day he kisses everyone ass for GIVING him a ring. The Pats could have still won with a different RB.

[Guest BengalsOwn]

Hate in this order:

Ravens
Redskins
Dolphins
Steelers
Giants

[Guest BengalsOwn]

[quote name='TheWretchedMass' date='Aug 15 2005, 10:16 AM']I still dont' understand how going from 6-10 to 15-1 makes you a dominate team.
[right][post="131094"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]

Anyone find this statement a little funny?

I guess you have to be 16-0 to be considered a dominant team then...

[Chris Henrys Dealer]

For me:

1. Cleveland Browns. I take great pleasure any time this team fucks up.
2. 49ers. Never forget or forgive '81 and '88
3. Buffalo Bills. Basically Toronto's adopted team. Plus after watching a lot of their games at Rich Stadium...a fan base to rival that of Cleveland.
T4. Chicago. I've never remembered these guys having a decent offence. They are consistently one of the most boring teams to watch.
T4. Ravens
6. Cowboys.

[T-Dub]

I just wonder how much more nut-swinging over Tom Brady and the Pats in general I'm going to have to endure before they're no longer considered "underrated".

As a Texas native my love/hate relationship with the 'Pokes is a given. I hate the Oilers/Titans & now Texans way more.. There's only one football team in Texas, period. The choke-fest that was the Oilers has returned to Houston - a new name, new uniform, new stadium can't remove the stink. The lame ass cows on the helmet doesn't help, either.

[BengalBeotch]

Browns (no need to explain)
Ravins (no need to explain)
Patriots (Corey, nuf said)
Steelers (hate the terrible towels)
Giants (I hate Eli)