Smizno Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 http://www.derfmagazine.com/news/sports/jordan-palmer-threatens CINCINNATI, OH - In a show of solidarity, backup quarterback Jordan Palmer has announced that he will retire from professional football if the Bengals do not trade his brother Carson. The threat sent shock waves through the Cincinnati sports world and the Bengals front office. “Let it be known that I am drawing a line in the sand,” said Jordan Palmer. “Trade my brother, or I am going to shut down my illustrious NFL career and focus 100% of my efforts on my phenomenal internet sensation RunPee.com.” Jordan then said that any and all questions should be directed to his agent, as soon as he hires one. The Bengals have announced that they do not plan on honoring Carson Palmer’s demand to be traded. It is not known how they will respond now that the future of their franchise back-up quarterback is part of the equation. Bengal fans were also shocked by the news. “I know this organization has its problems,” said fan Tony Parsons. “But I thought we could count on the consistency of seeing Jordan Palmer holding a clip board on the sidelines every Sunday for years to come. I’m not sure I will renew my season tickets if Jordan retires.” When asked if he would like to be traded to the same team as his brother, Jordan responded that is not his intention at all. “Nope, I just want to support Carson in his quest to leave. I will do whatever the team wants me to do. I promise to throw interceptions for touchdowns just as good as he did, and I can pretend to eat a John Morrell hot dog just as well too.” Jordan said he consulted with Cooper Manning before deciding to take a stand in support of his brother. "Cooper told me he would withdraw from next year's NFL draft if it would help either of his brothers, Eli or Peyton, in their contract discussions." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah15 Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 haha omg, we are soooo screwed!! lmao and jordan still runs that website runpee? i remmember that from fucking hardknocks lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soundstreamer Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 Lol that sounds like news from the Onion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bengal Migration| Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='soundstreamer' timestamp='1296436892' post='966667'] Lol that sounds like news from the Onion. [/quote] Hrmm. derfmagazine seems like such a reputable source, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BengalBeotch Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 good old derf magazine... love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 Unreal, I [i]knew[/i] this was going to happen! Welcome to the NFL Mr. Lefevour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bengalpunk Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 Is Jordan even signed for the next year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big_dish Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='Bengal Migration' timestamp='1296438283' post='966673'] Hrmm. derfmagazine seems like such a reputable source, too. [/quote] Its a satirical magazine, like The Onion as stated above. And no, Jordans contract was up after this season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bengal Migration| Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='big_dish' timestamp='1296443045' post='966695'] Its a satirical magazine, like The Onion as stated above. [/quote] Are you sure? ps: might want to recharge the batteries on your sarcasm detector. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|High School Harry| Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='Smizno' timestamp='1296431273' post='966658'] http://www.derfmagazine.com/news/sports/jordan-palmer-threatens CINCINNATI, OH - In a show of solidarity, backup quarterback Jordan Palmer has announced that he will retire from professional football if the Bengals do not trade his brother Carson. The threat sent shock waves through the Cincinnati sports world and the Bengals front office. [/quote] Don't you have to work before you can retire? Just sayin' ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparky151 Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='High School Harry' timestamp='1296444396' post='966703'] Don't you have to work before you can retire? Just sayin' ... [/quote] Remember Mike Kruczek? He was Terry Bradshaw's backup QB and qualified for his NFL pension before he got his first snap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluhartz Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='sparky151' timestamp='1296445056' post='966707'] Remember Mike Kruczek? He was Terry Bradshaw's backup QB and qualified for his NFL pension before he got his first snap. [/quote] [img]http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/xx223/fluhartz/2011-01-31_075935.jpg[/img] dude won two Super Bowl Rings...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccartman2 Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='fluhartz' timestamp='1296479253' post='966723'] [img]http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/xx223/fluhartz/2011-01-31_075935.jpg[/img] dude won two Super Bowl Rings...lol [/quote] Playing for Pittsburgh, that is good enough for the Hall of Fame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluhartz Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 [quote name='ccartman2' timestamp='1296486522' post='966744'] Playing for Pittsburgh, that is good enough for the Hall of Fame. [/quote] ha ha... well said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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