LostInDaJungle Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 Umm, Heinz made 57 different sauces at the time you Steeler loving, piano playing, crock of crap. And yes, this is Paul Alexander explaining that he chooses O-Linemen based on how the squeeze a ketchup bottle. (h/t to Twitter) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatternMaster Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 This is a story that he thinks makes him sound smart but yeah...I wouldn't go around telling anyone that you judge someone's ability to play football on how they squeeze ketchup out of a bottle....to think this guy was employed by the Bengals for over two decades.... holy shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Dub Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 We've been kicking this back and forth in another thread, but the title of this one made me lol. He was part of that whole Bratkowski offense of trying to outsmart the other guy.. Who is more interested in straight-up kicking your ass. Guess who usually wins that match-up. Fuck him and his bifocals, and fuck Former Assistant Head Coach Paul "He doesn't suck turtle dick he just has a different style" Alexander. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|SF2| Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 1 hour ago, PatternMaster said: This is a story that he thinks makes him sound smart but yeah...I wouldn't go around telling anyone that you judge someone's ability to play football on how they squeeze ketchup out of a bottle....to think this guy was employed by the Bengals for over two decades.... holy shit 1 hour ago, T-Dub said: We've been kicking this back and forth in another thread, but the title of this one made me lol. He was part of that whole Bratkowski offense of trying to outsmart the other guy.. Who is more interested in straight-up kicking your ass. Guess who usually wins that match-up. Fuck him and his bifocals, and fuck Former Assistant Head Coach Paul "He doesn't suck turtle dick he just has a different style" Alexander. Just because you guys didn't know this doesn't mean you should take it out on a terrible offensive line coach. Meanies. Besides Hunts is better,..no high fructose corn syrup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostInDaJungle Posted May 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 14 minutes ago, SF2 said: Just because you guys didn't know this doesn't mean you should take it out on a terrible offensive line coach. Meanies. Besides Hunts is better,..no high fructose corn syrup. Ketchup is disgusting no matter what. What would Alexander do if I was like "Ketchup? Yuck. No thank you." I just had this discussion on my Disc Golf (don't laugh) board and the consensus was "You're over 18, don't use ketchup." This also goes a long way towards explaining why we drafted a WR who ate McDonalds 3 times a day. Personally, I put out a jar of Grey Poupon and Classic Pommery Mustard Meaux Moutarde and if they choose the Poupon, I send them packing. I got no time for people who choose their condiments from a Jay-Z album. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|SF2| Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 10 minutes ago, LostInDaJungle said: Ketchup is disgusting no matter what. What would Alexander do if I was like "Ketchup? Yuck. No thank you." I just had this discussion on my Disc Golf (don't laugh) board and the consensus was "You're over 18, don't use ketchup." This also goes a long way towards explaining why we drafted a WR who ate McDonalds 3 times a day. Personally, I put out a jar of Grey Poupon and Classic Pommery Mustard Meaux Moutarde and if they choose the Poupon, I send them packing. I got no time for people who choose their condiments from a Jay-Z album. Merde I tell you, Hot Mister Mustard will kick all that foreign shit in the arse. Gotta admit, I do like French's Yellow Mustard. Kind of like driving a Ford Fusion though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostInDaJungle Posted May 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 8 minutes ago, SF2 said: Hot Mister Mustard If I see a guy trying to get that out of a jar with a knife, I'm like no way. Munoz used a spoon because he understood leverage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 2 hours ago, LostInDaJungle said: Ketchup is disgusting no matter what. I, Bunghole, challenge you sir, LostInDaJungle, to a duel. I DEMAND satisfaction for your feloniously blasphemous statements regarding The Lord's Perfect Food! Pistols or knives? How many paces? At dawn or dusk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|SF2| Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 22 minutes ago, Bunghole said: I, Bunghole, challenge you sir, LostInDaJungle, to a duel. I DEMAND satisfaction for your feloniously blasphemous statements regarding The Lord's Perfect Food! Pistols or knives? How many paces? At dawn or dusk? First of all, we are talking about condiments not food. Cat Soup is not a food. Second, Louisiana Original Hot Sauce blows away any of that girly sweet tomato paste you are eating. Frank's Hot Sauce is a close second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatternMaster Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 4 hours ago, SF2 said: Just because you guys didn't know this doesn't mean you should take it out on a terrible offensive line coach. Meanies. Besides Hunts is better,..no high fructose corn syrup. I knew this, but you can also use a knife to break the air pressure....the point is how someone dispenses ketchup from a bottle is a piss poor way to evaluate them at anything, especially playing football. The Bengals don't need Engineers that graduated Magna Cum Laude from MIT to block, they needs some maulers who won't get pushed around by their competition. Football isn't rocket science and normally cute shit like the scheme's Alexander employed don't work consistently vs. top talent. Football is a game grit and imposing your will onto your opponent. Smart guys, like Alexander, don't have sustained success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 Real offensive lineman only use glass-bottled ketchup. They break the bottles then pick out the shards of glass as they eat their fries. That's the kind of lineman I want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|High School Harry| Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 1 hour ago, Bunghole said: Real offensive lineman only use glass-bottled ketchup. They break the bottles then pick out the shards of glass as they eat their fries. That's the kind of lineman I want. We may have to move this post to the Richie Incognito thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 4 hours ago, SF2 said: ...Frank's Hot Sauce is a close second. Do you put that shit on everything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|SF2| Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 8 hours ago, Cricket said: Do you put that shit on everything? Just about. Any type of soup and eggs for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|schotzee| Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 12 hours ago, High School Harry said: We may have to move this post to the Richie Incognito thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 20 hours ago, High School Harry said: We may have to move this post to the Richie Incognito thread. Yes, but imagine an offensive lineman coming at you with a full head of steam, roaring in fury with a mouthful of bloody, jagged glass teeth. You'd move out of the way so Mixon could give you a Nike tattoo on your chest, wouldn't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|SF2| Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 I am starting to think there is something to this Ketchup thing. Bodine is gone,..right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VonBlade Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 On 5/23/2018 at 12:55 AM, Bunghole said: Real offensive lineman only use glass-bottled ketchup. They break the bottles then pick out the shards of glass as they eat their fries. That's the kind of lineman I want. REAL offensive linemen chew the glass. Bunch of pussies picking the glass out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|schotzee| Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 5 minutes ago, VonBlade said: REAL offensive linemen chew the glass. Bunch of pussies picking the glass out. Lmao! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Bunghole| Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 5 hours ago, VonBlade said: REAL offensive linemen chew the glass. Bunch of pussies picking the glass out. Richie Incognito would pack the shards into his dickhole and name it George. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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