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Tiger Woods sexts to Joslyn James... EPIC


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Tiger:Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.
Tiger:Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you
Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i
Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you
Tiger:Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.
Tiger:Sent: 07:30 PM 07/30/2009:
Just let me know when you are headed down
Tiger:Sent: 09:46 PM 07/30/2009:
What time is car picking you up tomorrow
Tiger:Sent: 01:14 AM 07/31/2009:
Yes
Tiger:Sent: 01:27 AM 07/31/2009:
Did you get lost. Door is open
Tiger:Sent: 02:16 PM 07/31/2009:
What time do you leave. Im trying to leave. Im trying to get back
Tiger:Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after
Tiger:Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)
Tiger:Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)
Tiger:Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I’m glad you came out
Tiger:Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe
Tiger:Sent: 03:13 AM 08/01/2009:
Thank you sexy
Tiger:Sent: 06:34 AM 08/06/2009:
In ohio playing
Tiger:Sent: 05:54 AM 08/09/2009:
I told you im playing these two weeks
Tiger:Sent: 06:50 PM 08/09/2009:
In about a month
Tiger:Sent: 06:51 PM 08/09/2009:
Maybe sooner. Can’t talk now. Will text when i can
Tiger:Sent: 01:53 PM 08/13/2009:
Me to
Tiger:Sent: 10:27 AM 08/20/2009:
I hope not. So you have been with others huh since
Tiger:Sent: 10:35 AM 08/23/2009:
I hope so
Tiger:Sent: 10:45 PM 08/23/2009:
Not a bad thing thinking about me
Tiger:Sent: 11:00 PM 08/23/2009:
I totally agree
Tiger:Sent: 11:03 PM 08/23/2009:
In conn
Tiger:Sent: 11:07 PM 03/23/2009:
Ditto
Tiger:Sent: 11: 08 PM 08/23/2009:
I like when you do that to me
Tiger:Sent: 11:11 PM 08/23/2009:
Ditto sexy
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/28/2009:
Maybe in two weeks in chicago
Tiger:Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad
Tiger:Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now:)
Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls
Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question
Tiger:Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust
Tiger:Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no
Tiger:Sent: 03:52 PM 08/29/2009:
God girl. You better want to take care of me
Tiger:Sent: 03:56 PM 08/29/2009:
You do. Need more of it
Tiger:Sent: 03:59 PM 08/29/2009:
of you
Tiger:Sent: 04″02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten
Tiger:Sent: 04:24 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. Now your talking. Whatever i want. You are mine
Tiger:Sent: 04:39 PM 08/29/2009:
Whatever else turns you on
Tiger:Sent: 04:43 PM 08/29/2009:
You tell me what you like
Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
You are. Always will be. Don’t trust people
Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
But you still have not told me what turns you on
Tiger:Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp
Tiger:Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around
Tiger:Sent: 05:12 PM 08/29/2009:
For years. And punish you for not seeing me more
Tiger:Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth
Tiger:Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me
Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don’t do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy
Tiger:Sent: 09:20 AM 09/03/2009:
Was playing sexy
Tiger:Sent: 04:17 AM 09/04/2009:
Maybe you can fly out to chicage on monday night and leave early wed
Tiger:Sent: 04:23 AM 09/04/2009:
I land at 930 or 10 monday night
Tiger:Sent: 11:57 AM 09/04/2009:
Great. What time so you land
Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 09/04/2009:
I land at the earliest at 8 and the latest will be 10
Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 09/04/2009:
Midway
Tiger:Sent: 01:42 AM 09/07/2009:
I cant wait to see you as well. What time do you land again
Tiger:Sent: 03:15 AM 09/07/2009:
You are going to be headed to the hyatt lodge. 2815 jorie blvd oak brook, il 60523. Phone 630 990 5800
Tiger:Sent: 11:38 AM 09/07/2009:
Did you get my text with all the info
Tiger:Sent: 11:41 AM 09/07/2009:
I will text you the room number when i get there. Im still in boston
Tiger:Sent: 11:43 AM 09/07/2009:
I have to check in to get the room
Tiger:Sent: 11:44 AM 09/07/2009:
I should get there before you anyways
Tiger:Sent: 12:27 PM 09/07/2009:
In about 3 hours
Tiger:Sent: 12:30 PM 09/07/2009:
I will be there before you for sure
Tiger:Sent: 12:35 PM 09/07/2009:
You just make sure you take care of me when you get here
Tiger:Sent: 06:28 PM 09/07/2009:
Great
Tiger:Sent: 06:30 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when your about 20 out i will order dinner. And what would you like to eat
Tiger:Sent: 06:33 PM 09/07/2009:
I am pretty tired after today. I am going to go to sleep early
Tiger:Sent: 06:53 PM 09/07/2009:
How close are you
Tiger:Sent: 07:09 PM 09/07/2009:
What do you want to eat
Tiger:Sent: 07:10 PM 09/07/2009:
Anything simple
Tiger:Sent: 07:12 PM 09/07/2009:
No turkey unless it’s a club sandwich
Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/07/2009:
How close
Tiger:Sent: 07:38 PM 09/07/2009:
Head to the elevators and go to 334. Thats your room. The door will be open with the dead bolt. I have to get back here to wait for the food. Im in room 358.
Tiger:Sent: 07:42 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when you are in the room. Food just got here
Tiger:Sent: 07:47 PM 09/07/2009:
Sweet. Dont come down here yet. Lots of people in the hall. I will let you know when it clears
Tiger:Sent: 08:16 PM 09/07/2009:
Are you close to being ready
Tiger:Sent; 08:32 PM 09/07/2009:
Come on down. Its quiet here in the hall now
Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
There is a room service cart in my hall. Be careful
Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
Room358
Tiger:Sent: 09:59 PM 09/07/2009:
Make it ok
Tiger:Sent: 10:01 PM 09/07/2009:
Ok. Lights out. Good night sexy
Tiger:Sent: 08:49 AM 09/08/2009:
Hope you slept as good as i did. I just woke up which is un heard of
Tiger:Sent: 10:23 AM 09/08/2009:
So when can i have that ass again
Tiger:Sent: 12:40 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be back in a couple hours
Tiger:Sent: 12:42 PM 09/08/2009:
I have to leave for an appearance at 430 but i will be back at 730 for dinner and lots of dessert with you. How about a quickie before i go:)
Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you
Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity
Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you
Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight
Tiger:Sent: 02:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Maybe
Tiger:Sent: 03:38 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be over in 10mins
Tiger:Sent: 03:40 PM 09/08/2009:
Why dont you come over here now instead
Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 09/08/2009:
Enter thru room 360. Its next door
Tiger:Sent: 03:42 PM 09/08/2009:
Hurry so i come in that ass
Tiger:Sent: 03:54 PM 09/08/2009:
Let me know when you leave your room
Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/08/2009:
You felt amazing to baby. How much was your flight by the way
Tiger:Sent: 07:35 PM 09/08/2009:
Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before i see you tonight
Tiger:Sent: 07:39 PM 09/08/2009:
Parent hood melt down:)
Tiger:Sent: 08:01 PM 09/08/2009:
How much was your flight
Tiger:Sent: 05:03 AM 09/09/2009:
Shit i fell back to sleep. just woke up. I have to leave in about 15 mins. I tee off at 700
Tiger:Sent: 07:43 PM 09/09/2009:
Great thing is we have a life time of this
Tiger:Sent: 05:44 AM 10/01/2009:
I know that. Thats why i wont do that.
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
Baby im not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I’m not losing that. You have to understand people love to tal
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
k about me. sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. I have learned to just roll with it no matter how much it upsets me when its not true. My life is a
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
fish bowl
Tiger:Sent: 10:40 AM 10/04/2009:
Guys from dubai. Investors. So my agent being suggested that we go back to my room at the mansion for lunch. He doesnt know about us, obviously
Tiger:Sent: 11:31 AM 10/04/2009:
This has been a total shit trip. Im sorry i fucked up last night. And this shit. We will get it right next time so we can spend more time together.
Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 10/04/2009:
Oh my god. If they were with me. You would have ruined everything
Tiger:Sent: 12:07 PM 10/04/2009:
I told you. Oh my god. I cant believe what just happened
Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don’t Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck
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This is she. He was supposedly in bed with her when he got the call that his father had just died.

[center][url=http://www.motifake.com/tiger-woods-no-apology-needed-demotivational-poster-91043.html][img]http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1002/tiger-woods-no-apology-needed-demotivational-poster-1266640595.jpg[/img][/url][/center]
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[quote name='Rumble In the Jungle' date='19 March 2010 - 05:26 PM' timestamp='1269034004' post='871746']
i like those too!!!!!

well, without the bacon on the clubs :mellow:
[/quote]

the girls he slept with were on howard stern and said he had a 10 incher...and that he likes anal, which is obvious when readin the above

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[quote name='Rumble In the Jungle' date='19 March 2010 - 05:26 PM' timestamp='1269034004' post='871746']
i like those too!!!!!

well, without the bacon on the clubs :mellow:
[/quote]

You need to start eating bacon. Stupid religious prohibitions on one of God's (or Allah's) greatest tasting foods. Fucking bullshit.

You drink booze, you worship the Bengals before Allah...take the next step...bacon...

I'm Catholic and I am of a firm mind that God (or Allah, Yahweh, or whatever name He goes by) doesn't give a fuck what people eat. I eat raw meat on the steps of Catholic churches during Lent, letting the drippings adorn the steps leading to the church and staining the priest's robes...

I also think that the prohibition about eating pig's flesh arose amongst Muslims and Jews during a time long ago when the trichnosis parasite (link:[url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis[/url]) was something to be concerned about. It no longer is. There hasn't been a diagnosed case of trichnosis in the USA in forever.

God also doesn't care who wins a game, who is the most talented rapper, etc, so I wish the fucks that are in the spotlight of fame would quit thanking God for their bullshit when its apparent that the sleaze involved in all of the above is further from God than most other professions.

If you thank God when you win, you must also blame Jesus when you lose. At least be consistent.

Ergo, eat bacon.

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[quote name='Bunghole' date='19 March 2010 - 08:10 PM' timestamp='1269043819' post='871766']
You need to start eating bacon. Stupid religious prohibitions on one of God's (or Allah's) greatest tasting foods. Fucking bullshit.

You drink booze, you worship the Bengals before Allah...take the next step...bacon...

I'm Catholic and I am of a firm mind that God (or Allah, Yahweh, or whatever name He goes by) doesn't give a fuck what people eat. I eat raw meat on the steps of Catholic churches during Lent, letting the drippings adorn the steps leading to the church and staining the priest's robes...

I also think that the prohibition about eating pig's flesh arose amongst Muslims and Jews during a time long ago when the trichnosis parasite (link:[url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis[/url]) was something to be concerned about. It no longer is. There hasn't been a diagnosed case of trichnosis in the USA in forever.

God also doesn't care who wins a game, who is the most talented rapper, etc, so I wish the fucks that are in the spotlight of fame would quit thanking God for their bullshit when its apparent that the sleaze involved in all of the above is further from God than most other professions.

If you thank God when you win, you must also blame Jesus when you lose. At least be consistent.

Ergo, eat bacon.
[/quote]


your retarded lol :lol:

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[quote name='Rumble In the Jungle' date='19 March 2010 - 08:18 PM' timestamp='1269044294' post='871768']
your retarded lol :lol:
[/quote]

If you think about it..not really.

There exists NO valid reason to NOT eat bacon/ham other than some weird religious prohibition. And if you're willing to break that religious prohibition with regards to alcohol, then pork should be your next sin.

Seriously, why would God care what you eat? Its the same stupid bullshit Christians observe during Lent...eating fish on Fridays..like God gives a fuck...

And I do believe very strongly in God, but I give him more credit than that...He writes books, gets pissed, he has a Son....gimme a break....

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[quote name='Bunghole' date='19 March 2010 - 07:10 PM' timestamp='1269043819' post='871766']
You need to start eating bacon. Stupid religious prohibitions on one of God's (or Allah's) greatest tasting foods. Fucking bullshit.

You drink booze, you worship the Bengals before Allah...take the next step...bacon...

I'm Catholic and I am of a firm mind that God (or Allah, Yahweh, or whatever name He goes by) doesn't give a fuck what people eat. I eat raw meat on the steps of Catholic churches during Lent, letting the drippings adorn the steps leading to the church and staining the priest's robes...

I also think that the prohibition about eating pig's flesh arose amongst Muslims and Jews during a time long ago when the trichnosis parasite (link:[url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis[/url]) was something to be concerned about. It no longer is. There hasn't been a diagnosed case of trichnosis in the USA in forever.

God also doesn't care who wins a game, who is the most talented rapper, etc, so I wish the fucks that are in the spotlight of fame would quit thanking God for their bullshit when its apparent that the sleaze involved in all of the above is further from God than most other professions.

If you thank God when you win, you must also blame Jesus when you lose. At least be consistent.

Ergo, eat bacon.
[/quote]


this post is pure genius.



BRILLIANT!
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[quote name='Bunghole' date='19 March 2010 - 10:38 PM' timestamp='1269052704' post='871798']
If you think about it..not really.

There exists NO valid reason to NOT eat bacon/ham other than some weird religious prohibition. And if you're willing to break that religious prohibition with regards to alcohol, then pork should be your next sin.

Seriously, why would God care what you eat? Its the same stupid bullshit Christians observe during Lent...eating fish on Fridays..like God gives a fuck...

And I do believe very strongly in God, but I give him more credit than that...He writes books, gets pissed, he has a Son....gimme a break....
[/quote]

This thread was about the hilarious texts Tiger sent to his porn star mistress.

You have ruined it by making it about religion.

Bad form. :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:

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[quote name='Bunghole' date='19 March 2010 - 10:38 PM' timestamp='1269052704' post='871798']
If you think about it..not really.

There exists NO valid reason to NOT eat bacon/ham other than some weird religious prohibition. And if you're willing to break that religious prohibition with regards to alcohol, then pork should be your next sin.

[b]Seriously, why would God care what you eat? Its the same stupid bullshit Christians observe during Lent...eating fish on Fridays..like God gives a fuck..[/b].

And I do believe very strongly in God, but I give him more credit than that...He writes books, gets pissed, he has a Son....gimme a break....
[/quote]


while I do observe it, you're right. What product was the economy in that area built on back then? Fish.
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[quote]the girls he slept with were on howard stern and said he had a 10 incher...and that he likes anal, which is obvious when readin the above [/quote}


[quote name='CTBengalsFan' date='19 March 2010 - 06:33 PM' timestamp='1269037992' post='871758']
I wonder if he's a fan of fisting.
[/quote]

[center][url=http://www.motifake.com/the-first-time-tiger-demotivational-poster-81445.html][img]http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0912/the-first-time-tiger-demotivational-poster-1260573803.jpg[/img][/url][/center]
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[quote name='CTBengalsFan' date='20 March 2010 - 09:20 AM' timestamp='1269091251' post='871833']
This thread was about the hilarious texts Tiger sent to his porn star mistress.

You have ruined it by making it about religion.

Bad form. :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:
[/quote]

Fucking with Rumble is never bad form. In fact, its required.

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  • 3 weeks later...
[quote name='High School Harry' date='20 March 2010 - 03:02 AM' timestamp='1269021768' post='871711']
This is she. He was supposedly in bed with her when he got the call that his father had just died.

[center][url=http://www.motifake.com/tiger-woods-no-apology-needed-demotivational-poster-91043.html][img]http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1002/tiger-woods-no-apology-needed-demotivational-poster-1266640595.jpg[/img][/url][/center]
[/quote]


The caption reads "Could you turn her down?" and my answer is a firm "Fuck yeah". What a skanky piece of shit she is. I'm almost embarrassed that Tiger was nailing that. Talk about taste from the trailer park. Good God. Big fake balloon tits.....ugggghhh. And don't even get me started on those funky ass tats on her leg.
MULLY
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[quote name='Fulcher_33' date='08 April 2010 - 09:38 PM' timestamp='1270787886' post='876268']
The caption reads "Could you turn her down?" and my answer is a firm "Fuck yeah". What a skanky piece of shit she is. I'm almost embarrassed that Tiger was nailing that. Talk about taste from the trailer park. Good God. Big fake balloon tits.....ugggghhh. And don't even get me started on those funky ass tats on her leg.
MULLY
[/quote]

I take it that Japanese sentence translates to "Mully has a tiny cock" or something.
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[quote name='sois' date='09 April 2010 - 02:00 PM' timestamp='1270789247' post='876269']
I take it that Japanese sentence translates to "Mully has a tiny cock" or something.
[/quote]


Please tell me that you aren't attracted to trashy whores like that. She is trailer trash from the get go. Good Lord. Granted, if she was laying down in front of my spread eagle telling me to fuck her, yeah, of course, I'd do it to get a nut. But there is no way on this earth that I would ever approach something like that in a bar or something. Ugggh. Not my type at all.
MULLY
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[quote name='Fulcher_33' date='09 April 2010 - 04:03 AM' timestamp='1270810999' post='876279']
Please tell me that you aren't attracted to trashy whores like that. She is trailer trash from the get go. Good Lord. [b]Granted, if she was laying down in front of my spread eagle telling me to fuck her, yeah, of course, I'd do it to get a nut. But there is no way on this earth that I would ever approach something like that in a bar or something.[/b] Ugggh. Not my type at all.
MULLY
[/quote]

ahahahhahahaah I was just making a lame joke about her tattoo and the fact that you live in Japan. Splat.

And pretty much yeah on that bolded part.

What does her leg say BTW?
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