AmishBengalFan Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Okay, how many of you guys remember the pretty girls from school? The ones who lead you on, promising their attention, then their companionship, then their intimacy, but who ultimately never deliver? Its a power trip for them, building up a man's hopes to such a level that he is willing to do anything, even at the risk of sacrificing his male pride and ego. And being skilled in the game, she knows it and is stringing him along for all she is worth, while secretly laughing at him. She builds up the expectation and has him making plans, which of course never come to fruition. The Bengals, either through accident or design, are now EXACTLY like that. They dangle the promise of success... at first it will just be the hope of a winning season. Then when that is achieved they'll tempt you with a playoff berth. Once that has been granted, they'll get you convinced that playoff wins and a trip to the Super Bowl may be forthcoming. We happily lap it up, being stringed along for all we're worth, while everyone laughs at us because they know what's coming. The expectation is built up and has us making plans, which of course never come to fruition. The Bengals give all the outward appearances of being willing to take you on this journey with them - they draft rookies who become immediate impact players. They fill the offensive and defensive teams with skilled players who earn league-wide praise and envy. They beat inferior teams handily and earn a chance to play in the national spotlight.. But when that spotlight finally shines on them, they embarrassingly wither and die as if they are allergic to success. This is more than enough to bait any red-blooded Bengal fan, and sufficient to turn us into putty in their hands. They use their charming wiles to draw us closer and make us think that we will see the promised land - a championship - the football equivalent of getting laid. We buy their tickets and wear their jerseys. We festoon our vehicles, our offices, and our homes with their logo and paraphernalia. We name our dogs "Boomer" and "Ickey", and our children "BenJarvis". We cater to their every whim, but ultimately we will still find ourselves left out in the cold. But what other choice do we have? If we view ourselves as emotionally invested, we stick with our sad sack tease, hoping that maybe one day she'll prove us wrong and will actually follow-through on the promises she has made us. If not, but if we still want to date one of these 32 women, we have to begin courting another team - most of which are viewed disdainfully by our closest friends and who are more than likely disease-ridden due to the nature of the other "fans" who have bedded them before us. Or we swear off them altogether and become gay, or start following soccer. Or both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|schotzee| Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 See the Kc royals in baseball. No one expected them where they are. They hit their stride when it mattered most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big_dish Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Okay, how many of you guys remember the pretty girls from school? The ones who lead you on, promising their attention, then their companionship, then their intimacy, but who ultimately never deliver? Its a power trip for them, building up a man's hopes to such a level that he is willing to do anything, even at the risk of sacrificing his male pride and ego. And being skilled in the game, she knows it and is stringing him along for all she is worth, while secretly laughing at him. She builds up the expectation and has him making plans, which of course never come to fruition. The Bengals, either through accident or design, are now EXACTLY like that. They dangle the promise of success... at first it will just be the hope of a winning season. Then when that is achieved they'll tempt you with a playoff berth. Once that has been granted, they'll get you convinced that playoff wins and a trip to the Super Bowl may be forthcoming. We happily lap it up, being stringed along for all we're worth, while everyone laughs at us because they know what's coming. The expectation is built up and has us making plans, which of course never come to fruition. The Bengals give all the outward appearances of being willing to take you on this journey with them - they draft rookies who become immediate impact players. They fill the offensive and defensive teams with skilled players who earn league-wide praise and envy. They beat inferior teams handily and earn a chance to play in the national spotlight.. But when that spotlight finally shines on them, they embarrassingly wither and die as if they are allergic to success. This is more than enough to bait any red-blooded Bengal fan, and sufficient to turn us into putty in their hands. They use their charming wiles to draw us closer and make us think that we will see the promised land - a championship - the football equivalent of getting laid. We buy their tickets and wear their jerseys. We festoon our vehicles, our offices, and our homes with their logo and paraphernalia. We name our dogs "Boomer" and "Ickey", and our children "BenJarvis". We cater to their every whim, but ultimately we will still find ourselves left out in the cold. But what other choice do we have? If we view ourselves as emotionally invested, we stick with our sad sack tease, hoping that maybe one day she'll prove us wrong and will actually follow-through on the promises she has made us. If not, but if we still want to date one of these 32 women, we have to begin courting another team - most of which are viewed disdainfully by our closest friends and who are more than likely disease-ridden due to the nature of the other "fans" who have bedded them before us. Or we swear off them altogether and become gay, or start following soccer. Or both. I wish there was a medicine that cured Stockholm Syndrome, because thats what I caught from the Bengals... and all I've done with them is some heavy petting. I never thought I would catch something serious like this. I tried beer and tequila, thinking the alcohol would kill it off. No luck. I'm worried if I keep meeting up with the Bengals every weekend, I may catch the gay soon. I dont want to catch the gay. I dont know what to do anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big_dish Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 See the Kc royals in baseball. No one expected them where they are. They hit their stride when it mattered most. The problem with that comparison is that it isnt a Cincinnati based team. Every team outside of Cincinnati has some hope. Cincinnati teams are festering with disease and have no hope beyond mild remission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Good looking girls turned you down? I can't identify. :ninja: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|schotzee| Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 The problem with that comparison is that it isnt a Cincinnati based team. Every team outside of Cincinnati has some hope. Cincinnati teams are festering with disease and have no hope beyond mild remission. I feel ya.;) Just keep in mind New England was pretty irrelevant not so so long ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scharm Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Seasons like the one the Reds just completed and the one the Bengals are currently enduring just highlight the frustration of not getting it done when the scenario favored your team. Going up 2-0 on the Giants and not advancing - stings. 3 second half TOs against the Chargers stings. In the end, they didn't strike when they could have and you just can't take for granted that the opportunity will just come along again. Can't do it. Look at this season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Elflocko| Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Cincinnati sports teams seem to have contracted an acute fear of windows... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B.A.B. Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 You named one of your kids Benjarvus? Bahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmishBengalFan Posted October 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Not until after I heard you had named yours Ki-Jana. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmishBengalFan Posted October 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 My beef is that we always get the build-up with this franchise, but never the "money shot". We've been to the playoffs three straight years and four of the past five. We have All Pros on both sides of the ball. No team is perfect, but our weaknesses are covered aptly by our strengths. But something always happens, and I'm tired of hearing excuses like we heard after losing to the Pats, drawing the Panthers, and being embarassed by the Colts. Is our team banged-up - absolutely. Are we effectively playing with our JV team at Linebacker now - no doubt. Have we endured injury after injury after injury to our top offensive and defensive playmakers - yes, yes, and yes. But look at the bigger pattern. We can't get over the hump. When the bright lights shine on the boys in stripes, they fold. I'm not talking about losing a Super Bowl with thirty-four seconds left, I'm talking about non-competitive blowouts mid-season, I'm talking about making the playoffs and laying an egg. I'm talking about the feeling I felt as I left Lucas Oil Stadium yesterday afternoon... the Colts fans felt SORRY for me because I was dressed in Orange and Black. I can take ribbing. I can take confrontation. I can take it - I'm a Bengal fan... I'm used to disappointment. But yesterday, what I got was pity. And it hurt. A lot. I am NOT giving up on this team, and I am NOT abandoning the NFL. But, damn, how many times do I have to be let down by a team that promises so much more before I start to get shell-shocked? Why can't the Bengals fill PBS? Simple. The fans are jaded. They've learned what a tease looks like, and most of them figured it out well before I did. It took me to my 27th season as a ticket holder to see with clarity what others have seen with derision years before saw.... this team WILL let us down. Again, and again, and again. I want more than anything to see Marvin and Andy and Gio and AJ and Tez and Geno standing up on that podium, covered in white and orange and black confetti, while passing the Lombardi between them. I want to feel the joy that 1/32nd of the NFL fanbase feels every single year - just once. I want to know that the heart I pour into rooting for my team will be returned with honest effort, and that the team will realize its potential rather than continue to squander this opportunity. I never again want to be pitied because I am a Bengals fan. I never again want to feel what I felt yesterday afternoon, or what I felt during the lost decade... which was pretty much the same feeling. I want that pretty girl who is beckoning me to follow through for once, to stop teasing me, and to once and for all PUT OUT! Go Bengals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enon Bengal Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 This thread needs boobs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Numbers| Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 I tried beer and tequila, thinking the alcohol would kill it off. No luck. I'm worried if I keep meeting up with the Bengals every weekend, I may catch the gay soon. I dont want to catch the gay. I dont know what to do anymore. Try bourbon. When that doesn't work try another shot. Eventually the pain goes away. A side benefit is that all the girls from school look pretty ... Just make sure you don't spend the night with them. Note: I have been drunk since 1991... Therapy is over rated. 1/2 :ninja: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scharm Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 The hardest part. Causual Colts Fan. Bengals always play like shit up there, to them nothings changed. They don't know your team so to them they are just beating the 90 Bengals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Numbers| Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 This thread needs boobs... Here ya go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scharm Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 We will take your flabby pectoral muscles and tie them into a bow and place you under a Christmas Tree. No one will open you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmishBengalFan Posted October 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Back in the 90's I knew my team was bad. I had thick skin about it. Yeah, we suck. Every so often we would win, like how even a blind pig might stumble upon an acorn, and it felt great... but it wasn't something we were accostmed to so when we would lose the next week - as we always did - it never hurt. This team, however, should be winning. Every game I attend or watch on TV is a game I expect us to win. Not KoolAid-enhanced thinking mind you, I sincerely thought we would beat New England, and Carolina, and Indy. And beat them handily. Just like I expected us to beat Pittsburgh in '05, and Houston, and Houston, and the Jets, and San Diego in our other playoff appearances. We didn't just lose all of these games, we lost them handily. (Don't get technical on me... the tie against Carolina was a LOSS to a team that is CLEARLY inferior to us....) In none of them were we even competitive. In 2003 during a locker room pep talk - it might have even been after the "Promise" game against the Chefs - Marvin said the following to the team: "This ain't the same old Bengals. This is the new Bengals. This is a football team that's got some nuts, and it's got some pride. And we've still got everything we want in front of us. Let's go." Everything we want is STILL in front of us. All I want is for them to take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmishBengalFan Posted October 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Ryan Parker wrote this song back in 2005 about the resurgent Bengals. http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Bengal+Bandwagon/432Iuo?src=5 Give it a listen. Remember where we had just come from when we broke through and into the playoffs. Remember the feeling of pride we felt when we had the unwritten script of a blank future before us. Marvin was right, we had EVERYTHING we wanted in front of us. And we still do. And nine years later we're still not able to get any closer to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|schotzee| Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 You'll have to type louder if you want me to hear you rant. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BengalsCat Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Back in the 90's I knew my team was bad. I had thick skin about it. Yeah, we suck. Every so often we would win, like how even a blind pig might stumble upon an acorn, and it felt great... but it wasn't something we were accostmed to so when we would lose the next week - as we always did - it never hurt. This team, however, should be winning. Every game I attend or watch on TV is a game I expect us to win. Not KoolAid-enhanced thinking mind you, I sincerely thought we would beat New England, and Carolina, and Indy. And beat them handily. Just like I expected us to beat Pittsburgh in '05, and Houston, and Houston, and the Jets, and San Diego in our other playoff appearances. We didn't just lose all of these games, we lost them handily. (Don't get technical on me... the tie against Carolina was a LOSS to a team that is CLEARLY inferior to us....) In none of them were we even competitive. In 2003 during a locker room pep talk - it might have even been after the "Promise" game against the Chefs - Marvin said the following to the team: Everything we want is STILL in front of us. All I want is for them to take it. This is very true and pretty much how i feel about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted October 21, 2014 Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 Who knew Amish girls were like that? :shrug: At least you could get your hands on a cow's udder... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BengalsNYC Posted October 21, 2014 Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 My beef is that we always get the build-up with this franchise, but never the "money shot". We've been to the playoffs three straight years and four of the past five. We have All Pros on both sides of the ball. No team is perfect, but our weaknesses are covered aptly by our strengths. But something always happens, and I'm tired of hearing excuses like we heard after losing to the Pats, drawing the Panthers, and being embarassed by the Colts. Is our team banged-up - absolutely. Are we effectively playing with our JV team at Linebacker now - no doubt. Have we endured injury after injury after injury to our top offensive and defensive playmakers - yes, yes, and yes. But look at the bigger pattern. We can't get over the hump. When the bright lights shine on the boys in stripes, they fold. I'm not talking about losing a Super Bowl with thirty-four seconds left, I'm talking about non-competitive blowouts mid-season, I'm talking about making the playoffs and laying an egg. I'm talking about the feeling I felt as I left Lucas Oil Stadium yesterday afternoon... the Colts fans felt SORRY for me because I was dressed in Orange and Black. I can take ribbing. I can take confrontation. I can take it - I'm a Bengal fan... I'm used to disappointment. But yesterday, what I got was pity. And it hurt. A lot. I am NOT giving up on this team, and I am NOT abandoning the NFL. But, damn, how many times do I have to be let down by a team that promises so much more before I start to get shell-shocked? Why can't the Bengals fill PBS? Simple. The fans are jaded. They've learned what a tease looks like, and most of them figured it out well before I did. It took me to my 27th season as a ticket holder to see with clarity what others have seen with derision years before saw.... this team WILL let us down. Again, and again, and again. I want more than anything to see Marvin and Andy and Gio and AJ and Tez and Geno standing up on that podium, covered in white and orange and black confetti, while passing the Lombardi between them. I want to feel the joy that 1/32nd of the NFL fanbase feels every single year - just once. I want to know that the heart I pour into rooting for my team will be returned with honest effort, and that the team will realize its potential rather than continue to squander this opportunity. I never again want to be pitied because I am a Bengals fan. I never again want to feel what I felt yesterday afternoon, or what I felt during the lost decade... which was pretty much the same feeling. I want that pretty girl who is beckoning me to follow through for once, to stop teasing me, and to once and for all PUT OUT! Go Bengals. This. Completely. Totally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|schotzee| Posted October 21, 2014 Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 This. Completely. Totally. Yes yes. Ditto. Great post ABF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bengalsfan850 Posted October 21, 2014 Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 yeah this is why they can't hardly sell enough tickets for home play off games, the fans know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Dub Posted October 21, 2014 Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 yeah this is why they can't hardly sell enough tickets for home play off games, the fans know Call me crazy if you want, but I think this is a big part of why they lose those games. The SD wild card game, at least. Tens of thousands of people watching you perform, expecting you to fail, just itching to turn against you at your first mistake. Not much of a home field advantage. I still haven't figured out how someone can both say they expect the worst then act disappointed when the worst happens, but there's a big part of this fanbase who I'm pretty sure would be happier birdwatching on Sundays or something but get off on having something inconsequential to complain about. Deflect attention from real-life problens maybe, ID, not really my concern. When I read these kinds of posts, though, I start to think this is exactly the team you deserve. So congratulations; you were right, they lost. See you next Sunday, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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