|Tigers Johnson| Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 I am about to go through a divorce.... I thought we had an agreement in place for a dissolution, but now she is showing signs of going back on that deal.... Any advice on how I should protect myself? We have been separated for almost two years and I have been footing most of the bills for her to remain in the house, but I want the house back,.... We had a deal in place that I assumed all of the debt and her total income a month would have been 300 dollars more a month than mine after child support and alimony..... I am stressing bad right now... and filled with anger because of her going back on her word.... On top of it I found out yesterday that my moms cancer is terminal with a max of 6 months to live and a max of 30 days without treatment. I am her power of attorney and have been advised for ease of things to get everything transferred to my name, but that worries me with the divorce thing.... Signed: Desperate and stressing in Ohio... lol////kinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gatorclaws Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 It's likely the lawyer in her ear that's making things more difficult. Does your ex know about your mom's cancer? If she has a heart it may stop her from going into pure bitch mode during the divorce. I don't really know much about it to help you but I'm hoping for the best. Do you have any siblings you can move the power of attorney to in order to avoid those potential issues? Bottom line, do your best to not let the divorce get in the way of you enjoying the next 6 months with your mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 My divorce was fairly amicable, but looking back, I do wish I had at least spoken to a lawyer earlier in the process if not retained one. I seriously recommend you at least consult with one if not retain. The couple hundred you spend on an attorney could save you a lot in the long run. Especially as it pertains to alimony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Numbers| Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 I am about to go through a divorce.... I thought we had an agreement in place for a dissolution, but now she is showing signs of going back on that deal.... Any advice on how I should protect myself? We have been separated for almost two years and I have been footing most of the bills for her to remain in the house, but I want the house back,.... We had a deal in place that I assumed all of the debt and her total income a month would have been 300 dollars more a month than mine after child support and alimony..... I am stressing bad right now... and filled with anger because of her going back on her word.... On top of it I found out yesterday that my moms cancer is terminal with a max of 6 months to live and a max of 30 days without treatment. I am her power of attorney and have been advised for ease of things to get everything transferred to my name, but that worries me with the divorce thing.... Signed: Desperate and stressing in Ohio... lol////kinda PM Sent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Tigers Johnson| Posted February 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Yeah... she hit me with going back on the deal the same day I found out my mom was terminal. I know the deal we had was not binding, but to me it is pretty shitty to go back on something you agreed on... my guess is someone is in her ear... Unfortunately she is horrible with money so if she does see a lawyer he will probably talk her in to shooting for the moon hence the fighting will begin... I was trying to be nice, but now I have to move to cover my ass mode... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigris Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 I don't know anything about divorce but I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer_Rice Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Tigers; Shit happens in flurries, doesn't it? Been through a pretty rough patch myself these past few months so I empathize with you. On the divorce: Lawyer up. Have your lawyer meet her lawyer and let them do all the negotiations. That way, binding agreements can be reached without a lot of acrimony between you and the wife. Re your mother: I am so sorry to hear this. Things will no doubt be very stressful in the near future. When you are feeling low, try to remember that it's all about Love. Love. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-GoBengals- Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Sorry to hear about your mother. The helplessness you feel when you are losing the person who helped make you the person you are is literally painful. I wish you the best with everything, I couldn't imagine having a divorce lingering on top of everything else. Good luck with it all.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumble In the Jungle Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 I have a real good lawyer for you, my Ex wife's lawyer. She raped me. You should hire her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bengal Cat Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Take it from me...been there done that, don't hire just any lawyer that lists "Divorce" in the yellow pages. Do your homework, ask around and see which divorce attys are the best. Just any lawyer will get you screwed. As for your Mom, stay strong. Every situation is different when it comes to cancer. The Doctors gave my cousin 6 months to a year and he lived 5 and a half years. I wish her the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Tigers Johnson| Posted February 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Thanks guys.... Homer, I am leaning your way... I just don't have it in me to fight with her right now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldschooler Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Definitely get a Lawyer. I got divorced on my 22nd birthday and didn't have a Lawyer. 21 years later I am still feeling the effects of the ass whipping I got. But more importantly, so sorry to hear about your Mom. I thought she was doing better. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to send me a PM. I might not have all the answers. But you can rest assured that you'll be talking to someone that genuinely cares. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khatmandude Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Can't help on divorce but so sorry to hear of your mom. Life likes to teach us things when we're not prepared but that's only to bring out the best in us.....strength that you may not have known is even available. Good luck with everything bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-GoBengals- Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Can't help on divorce but so sorry to hear of your mom. Life likes to teach us things when we're not prepared but that's only to bring out the best in us.....strength that you may not have known is even available. Good luck with everything bro. no truer words have ever been spoken.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|Tigers Johnson| Posted February 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Thanks everyone... I am doing my best to make her laugh and fall apart when I am alone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-GoBengals- Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 i know it doesnt seem like much, but you are very lucky to have this time to talk with her. My mother went into the hospital with normal asthma/flu issues, was there a few days, testing this and that, was getting sent home, they decided to biopsy part of her lung just to run test and be sure, and she never woke up from that biopsy, she lived for a week or two, i cant even remember, but was in a horrible machine being rotated and was unconscious. I didnt go back to see her after the first day, my parents both said not to, said they didnt want me to take germs home from the hospital and get kids sick, etc... so i never got to talk to her again. last thing we ever talked about was her getting a new phone because she didnt like her cell phone anymore, and that shed be home the next day and was going to be watching my kids that coming weekend, etc.. then she was just gone. its been 3.5 years and it still haunts me and always will. it doesnt matter what anyone says or does, it doesnt ever help, while its not something i think about daily, it still runs through my head whenever things get rough. enjoy every minute you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|kennethmw| Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Man, get a lawyer and let him/her handle the divorce. Spend as much time as you can with your Mom. You can get another wife, but you'll never have another Mom! You are in my Prayers!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MULLY Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 Sorry about both situations, man. I was lucky in that my first wife and I just got a divorce and that was that. No fighting, no legal battles, no silly claims on "I want this" or "You gotta pay me" etc... Matter of fact, we drove to the courthouse together then went out for lunch after the papers were signed. It's been 10 years and we still talk every once in a while, and we're both remarried. As for your mom, dude, this is 2013, cancer isn't the definite killer it once was.....you didn't tell us where the cancer is though. Anyway, doctors can only guess as to how long a person has left. I had a neighbor that was given 6 months and the dude lived 20 years. On the other hand, my wife's father was given a year and was dead in a month. I honestly believe that power of the mind can do amazing things. Don't let mom give up on the fight. If she's strong she can add time to her life. I do want to say one thing though, and I'm not trying to be insensitive, just a dose of reality, we all have to face the day that our parents are no longer with us, unless we go first. No one, and I mean no one, lives forever. Death is a part of life. I know it sucks, I've already lost one parent, but keeping that in mind may help you deal with it a little better when the time comes. I know, man, we'd like to keep them around for forever. I do wish your mom all the best though. I hope she kicks the shit out of that cancer!! MULLY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scharm Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 I wish all the best for your mom. It's a hard time but you've got to find away through to enjoy what time you have left. The last Bengal game I took my mom to was the tie against the Eagles. It's spooky because everytime I see Marvin's record posted that 1 respresenting a tie jolts back the memories (Good memories) Without warning, gone within months. I'm glad they tied that game because the franchise record will never let you forget. Almost wish the NFL would get rid of ties so there can never be another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bengal Cat Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Tigers.......keep us updated on how things are going. Remember, your Bengal Brethren are just a keyboard tap away. Wishing you and your Mom the best Bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|High School Harry| Posted April 1, 2013 Report Share Posted April 1, 2013 Absolutely horrible and two of the most horrible and life changing events that can happen to a person. My unwanted and unexpected divorce ended in court on a Friday (though it had been wrapped up before then and that was unnecessary humiliating drama) and my mother passed away the following Sunday. I will think my ex's actions (the court crap) had something to do with hastening my mother's passing until my final day. I also believe that the karma for such a thing will be... I digress and enough about me only I truly feel for you and what you are going through. The effects of such a thing are many and multi layered. But do get a lawyer. You have to do so for many reasons from protecting you now and decades into the future but also to act as a buffer from her attorney's bullshit intimidation... and they thrive on it. My whole situation would have been a lot simpler without her shyster and I think it became clear even to her that he did not give rat's ass about anything to do with her and what she did and did not get, but it was all about billable hours for him. The longer he could drag it out, the more money he made regardless of the outcome. Also... and see how this fits in your head. I think things, as ugly as they were and are, would have gone simpler without her scum sucking, trouble making, jealous bitch friends egging her on and giving her advice. Its been about three years now and while I really honestly do not dislike her that much (kind of pity her) although I would love to never have to see, hear from or deal with her again, my deepest feelings bordering on hatred are aimed directly at a few of her so-called "friends" who should have shut the fuck up and kept out of out lives and marriage. And family. And I would love to and will let them know how I feel about their gossip and actions (within legal limits) if I ever catch them in public... hopefully with their spouses and children. Rambling and venting a bit. Ignore that and me just I feel for you and you will be in my prayers. As will, of course, your mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigris Posted April 1, 2013 Report Share Posted April 1, 2013 Absolutely horrible and two of the most horrible and life changing events that can happen to a person. My unwanted and unexpected divorce ended in court on a Friday (though it had been wrapped up before then and that was unnecessary humiliating drama) and my mother passed away the following Sunday. I will think my ex's actions (the court crap) had something to do with hastening my mother's passing until my final day. I also believe that the karma for such a thing will be... I digress and enough about me only I truly feel for you and what you are going through. The effects of such a thing are many and multi layered. But do get a lawyer. You have to do so for many reasons from protecting you now and decades into the future but also to act as a buffer from her attorney's bullshit intimidation... and they thrive on it. My whole situation would have been a lot simpler without her shyster and I think it became clear even to her that he did not give rat's ass about anything to do with her and what she did and did not get, but it was all about billable hours for him. The longer he could drag it out, the more money he made regardless of the outcome. Also... and see how this fits in your head. I think things, as ugly as they were and are, would have gone simpler without her scum sucking, trouble making, jealous bitch friends egging her on and giving her advice. Its been about three years now and while I really honestly do not dislike her that much (kind of pity her) although I would love to never have to see, hear from or deal with her again, my deepest feelings bordering on hatred are aimed directly at a few of her so-called "friends" who should have shut the fuck up and kept out of out lives and marriage. And family. And I would love to and will let them know how I feel about their gossip and actions (within legal limits) if I ever catch them in public... hopefully with their spouses and children. Rambling and venting a bit. Ignore that and me just I feel for you and you will be in my prayers. As will, of course, your mother. I want to hear this story about the ex and her friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Posted April 1, 2013 Report Share Posted April 1, 2013 How is your mom doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|High School Harry| Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I want to hear this story about the ex and her friends. The actual story(ies) is kind of a moot point but I will share with you, if you wish. Send me a PM. Right now my biggest concern is you and what you are being dragged into. Think of it this way in relation to you, your wife and situation. While a generalization, it is fairly true that all women are drama queens. What should be completely between you and her as far as dissolution (my ex's attorney told her not to go that route... now there's a surprise... no billable hours for that blood sucker) or patching things up. You and her... as it should be. But you can be fairly sure she is venting or whatever with her friends. And not all of them are "friends". Women never really get that. And they sure as hell are not helping not only her, but you two's personal situation whatsoever. "I would do this if I were you" and "You can't let him get away with that"... etc. serving up the pity pot for her to squat on. No matter what she is thinking, she is being painted into a corner by "friends" who do not have anything CLOSE to a positive resolution for you both no matter what it is. With me, the lines of communication were open and things were moving nicely and all of a sudden BOOM! A process server on my doorstep in the middle of the night. I thought he was a lost pizza delivery guy- swear to God I did. And I think that some of my ex's "friends", especially those who were jealous of her and our family and relationship, were pushing HARD. You know the type, they win by someone else's loss and will do anything they can to facilitate it. I would bet with your situation you know exactly who I am talking about. As I said above, I really do not dislike my ex or have anything against her, really. But there are a few of her friends that if I catch them out in public will do a major verbal ass ripping and careful that it is not construed as a threat of any sort. Just spill a few of their beans and uncloset a few of their skeletons. ALSO VERY IMPORTANT.... no matter how tempting it may be DO NOT go after or initiate any sort of communication, stealth harassment, etc. against the bitches whose mouths are open. Ignore them, not a word. Allow the wheel of karma to run their ass into the ground (and it will), etc. but let it and them go. I still strongly advise an attorney to steer you clear. A lot of her legal pimp's bull shit it smoke and intimidation (ie you paying her legal costs... nope) but you don't know that. So, still, the very best of luck and I feel for you. But my humble opinion is some of her friends (sisters, too, maybe?) have their vicious bitch mouths open about something that is not any of their concern and it is making matters all the worse. My humble opinion and food for thought and if I am completely wrong or off base and out of place, I apologize. Still venting over my situation and all that went with it (my son is a train wreck... thanks, mom) and trying to put the pieces together now. Been three years, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumble In the Jungle Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 In the Middle East if you get a divorce you just give your soon to be your ex whatever you agreed on in the beginning. Then tell her to get the fuck out. Simple as that. No courts, no lawyers. Women get so much love in this country it's unreal. Men are treated very unfairly here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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