Gave up my newborn son for adoption

[Who Dey Forever]

Hardest thing I have ever done in my life..Me and the ex broke up about 3 months into the pregnancy ( she was immature as hell and I wasn't going to deal with it) .. I didn't hear much from her during the whole thing.. We talked about adoption here and there but I never told her I was for certain on it.. Eventually she found parents without even telling me. She was induced on Monday and had him Monday night..Went to go see him today..My mother came too and so did my aunt and cousin..Eventually me & her started arguing and she got all emotional and started crying..About 15 minutes later security comes in and tells me and my family that we have to leave? Turns out she called security on us because I guess she felt "threatened" by us? Eventually the adoptive parents that were there let me have another chance to be with him before I had to leave for work.

The adoptive parents seem really great people and they said they were open to giving me updates/pictures/videos of him. It's what I think is best. I wanted the little guy to have parents that have been together and plan on being together. I didn't want him constantly moving around from house to house and dealing with the whole stepdad/stepmom thing..It can be tough.

Here's a picture of him and I. His name is Jayden.

[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/2pzxppd.jpg[/IMG]

[sois]

That's cool, winds up being a good deal for the kid. How much did that cost the adoptive parents BTW?

[Jamie_B]

I'm sure it was tough WDF, but you really did the right thing. You gained alot of respect from me today, you went the right way in letting it live and the right way in giving him a more secure and stable life than you could give him right now.

[Jason]

I know that had to be a hard decision. Thank you for making that "choice". It's looking like if my wife and I want to have kids we may have to adopt, so I hope more people show the strength you did.

[|Bunghole|]

WDF-

That was a very good thing you and your ex did. I am adopted, as is my brother. I'm sure it was hard, but if you and her decided it was for the best, then it was. I never knew whom my biological parents were, so its interesting to me that the adoptive family is willing to keep you updated on your baby's progress.

IIRC, you're a pretty young guy. If you weren't ready to be a father, then you weren't ready.

Hang in there man.

-Steve

[Bengals1181]

wow, after having kids of my own I don't think I could ever give one up for adoption, but I commend you for doing what you think is best for your child. It's a brave, and very tough thing to do.

[Vol_Bengal]

WDF- I commend you and your ex for making an extremely difficult, heart-wrenching, but responsible decision...

So many people in your situation take the easy route and abort but you all have brought that little guy into the world and made the decision that it would be better for him to go to a family that is a mother and a father, together, and can provide more fully for him. He'll never know it - but you've done a great thing for him as the adoptive parents will be able to provide things that you may not have been or would be able to...

Again - extreme amounts of respect to you. Having 4 kids of my own - I can't imagine ever having to let go of a child... but hold onto the thoughts and fact that he'll have more because that couple is in a better position than you're presently in.


Kudos to you.

[Rumble In the Jungle]

maaaan, i respect you for that big time. But.....i would of had some say with that bitch! excuse my french. she alone doesn't have the right to make that decision bro! if like you said you feel that was the best decision then cool. but i sense that in a way that you wanted to raise him and thats your right as a parent. it's cool at least that he's going to a good home and all but thats your kid man. i would of snatched him (through the court system of course).

[CTBengalsFan]

[quote name='Rumble In the Jungle' date='18 March 2010 - 11:51 AM' timestamp='1268927482' post='871422']
maaaan, i respect for that big time. But.....i would of had some say with that bitch! excuse my french. she alone doesn't have the right to make that decision bro! if like you said you feel that was the best decision then cool. but i sense that in a way that you wanted to raise him and thats your right as a parent. it's cool at least that he's going to a good home and all but thats your kid man. i would of snatched him (through the court system of course).
[/quote]

I'm pretty sure he could contest it if he wanted to.

Whatever you do, I agree that it's a good thing that he wasn't aborted.

[#22]

Well, I'm not a good enough person to add anything insightful to this thread, but I will say that everyone I know who has was adopted has turned out pretty well (with the exception of Bung, I guess).

I give my cousin shit about it from time to time, and I always hear the same response from parents: "He was chosen, you were an accident!"

[-GoBengals-]

you're going to have many sleepless nights over this, even more so later in life, but probably not as many as you would have trying to make a broken relationship/bad situation to raise a child in.

good luck to you, i cant even imagine.

i didnt want kids when we had ours, i didnt want them YET i should say, but a compromised and had them, which was the wrong thing to do, i didnt enjoy any of it, even the infant years werent that enjoyable for me, and now that i got a little more mature, probably a year ago or so and even more so once my mom passed, i HATE that i missed out on enjoying the pregnancies and infant stages... wasnt fair to my wife either..

that was off topic..

anyway.. good luck!

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='#22' date='18 March 2010 - 01:12 PM' timestamp='1268932371' post='871436']
Well, I'm not a good enough person to add anything insightful to this thread, but I will say that everyone I know who has was adopted has turned out pretty well (with the exception of Bung, I guess).

I give my cousin shit about it from time to time, and I always hear the same response from parents: "He was chosen, you were an accident!"
[/quote]

Hey! At least I root for the right basketball team, unlike your bud GTG!



Hang in there, WDF.

[Scoutforlife591]

Wow, we're like 10 posts deep and no one was a douchebag. That may be a record for the internet.

[|Bunghole|]

[quote name='Scoutforlife591' date='18 March 2010 - 09:45 PM' timestamp='1268963122' post='871538']
Wow, we're like 10 posts deep and no one was a douchebag. That may be a record for the internet.
[/quote]

Why would anyone be one? Its one thing to fuck around with someone in a general sense, but it takes a real moron and pimply a-hole to make fun of a guy in WDF's situation...especially when he did the right thing.

[Rumble In the Jungle]

[quote name='Scoutforlife591' date='18 March 2010 - 09:45 PM' timestamp='1268963122' post='871538']
Wow, we're like 10 posts deep and no one was a douchebag. That may be a record for the internet.
[/quote]

cause BengalsOwn hasn't posted yet

[BengalsOwn]

[quote]the adoptive parents that were there let me have another chance to be with him before I had to leave for work.[/quote]

you went to work?

[BengalBacker]

Sounds like you made the right decision, but I have to say you should have never got her pregnant in the first place.

I know shit happens, but there are ways to prevent it. It isn't cool making babies you aren't prepared to raise, and I would hope you don't let it happen again.

JMHO

[Tigris]

You made a couple very happy. It costs some cash to adopt a kid... he got a good home.

10K to adopt Russian babies.... met a lady who did. Couldn't believe it.

I'm adopting a Samoan (sp.) and riding his ass to the NFL.

[CTBengalsFan]

[quote name='Rumble In the Jungle' date='18 March 2010 - 10:11 PM' timestamp='1268964664' post='871549']
cause BengalsOwn hasn't posted yet
[/quote]

and it came.

Glad he can live up to his internet persona he's worked so hard to craft. 16k posts of douchebaggery is no small feat.

[#22]

[quote name='Scoutforlife591' date='18 March 2010 - 09:45 PM' timestamp='1268963122' post='871538']
Wow, we're like 10 posts deep and no one was a douchebag. That may be a record for the internet.
[/quote]
Did you miss my post?

[Who Dey Forever]

Thanks to everyone for the support. You guys really don't know what it means. I have my whole family behind me and it means more than anything. I'm going to see him one last time tomorrow before he leaves for Florida. The adoptive parents are letting me and the family come over to their apartment they are renting out til they get the OK to go ahead and go home. I'm going to try and get a Bengals shirt for him before I go see him




[quote name='sois' date='18 March 2010 - 01:58 AM' timestamp='1268891909' post='871342']
That's cool, winds up being a good deal for the kid. How much did that cost the adoptive parents BTW?
[/quote]
I didn't really get into the price of it. A couple thousand I'm assuming.

[quote name='Rumble In the Jungle' date='18 March 2010 - 11:51 AM' timestamp='1268927482' post='871422']
maaaan, i respect you for that big time. But.....i would of had some say with that bitch! excuse my french. she alone doesn't have the right to make that decision bro! if like you said you feel that was the best decision then cool. but i sense that in a way that you wanted to raise him and thats your right as a parent. it's cool at least that he's going to a good home and all but thats your kid man. i would of snatched him (through the court system of course).
[/quote]
Yeah I thought about taking him under my wing. Thing is, I wanted the little one to have both a mom & a dad. That's basically the main reason why I did this.

[quote name='BengalsOwn' date='19 March 2010 - 01:17 AM' timestamp='1268975837' post='871571']
you went to work?
[/quote]
SMH.

[quote name='Tigris' date='19 March 2010 - 07:35 AM' timestamp='1268998524' post='871599']
You made a couple very happy. It costs some cash to adopt a kid... he got a good home.

10K to adopt Russian babies.... met a lady who did. Couldn't believe it.

[b]I'm adopting a Samoan (sp.) and riding his ass to the NFL.[/b]
[/quote]

[Squirrlnutz]

Wow man, must have been difficult for you.

Since others have been so forethcoming in telling you that you've made "the right" decision...

I think you made the best decision. Who wants kids anyway!? I think I'm gettin my shit tied off as soon as the wife and I move. Me and the misses want nothing to do with a living, breathing, crying, pooping, 25+ year emotional, financial, and legal commitment.

So go use that money your not spending on diapers and take a trip to some place in the world you might not have otherwise had the chance to vist. Slainte!

[|Elflocko|]

[quote name='Squirrlnutz' date='25 March 2010 - 12:11 PM' timestamp='1269544293' post='873034']
Wow man, must have been difficult for you.

Since others have been so forethcoming in telling you that you've made "the right" decision...

I think you made the best decision. [b]Who wants kids anyway!? I think I'm gettin my shit tied off as soon as the wife and I move. Me and the misses want nothing to do with a living, breathing, crying, pooping, 25+ year emotional, financial, and legal commitment.

So go use that money your not spending on diapers and take a trip to some place in the world you might not have otherwise had the chance to vist. Slainte![/b]
[/quote]


Testify!

[sois]

[quote name='Squirrlnutz' date='25 March 2010 - 12:11 PM' timestamp='1269544293' post='873034']
Wow man, must have been difficult for you.

Since others have been so forethcoming in telling you that you've made "the right" decision...

I think you made the best decision. Who wants kids anyway!? I think I'm gettin my shit tied off as soon as the wife and I move. Me and the misses want nothing to do with a living, breathing, [b]crying, pooping,[/b] 25+ year emotional, financial, and legal commitment.

So go use that money your not spending on diapers and take a trip to some place in the world you might not have otherwise had the chance to vist. Slainte!
[/quote]

I don't mind a kid, but I want one with those bold features removed. Me and the wife want one that is potty trained at least and sleeps through the night.

I'm against overpopulation so adopting a preexisting kid will kill a few birds with one stone.

[-GoBengals-]

[quote name='Squirrlnutz' date='25 March 2010 - 01:11 PM' timestamp='1269544293' post='873034']
Wow man, must have been difficult for you.

Since others have been so forethcoming in telling you that you've made "the right" decision...

I think you made the best decision. Who wants kids anyway!? I think I'm gettin my shit tied off as soon as the wife and I move. Me and the misses want nothing to do with a living, breathing, crying, pooping, 25+ year emotional, financial, and legal commitment.

So go use that money your not spending on diapers and take a trip to some place in the world you might not have otherwise had the chance to vist. Slainte!
[/quote]

probably a good thing there wont be more of you.